<p>Does this sound somewhat awkward and forced?</p>
<p>Everything in this church was a deviation–the congregation danced, clapped, and hugged each other, in a church.</p>
<p>Sorry , but I’m freakin out !</p>
<p>yes.</p>
<p>‘deviation’ may not be the best word here.</p>
<p>the final ‘in a church’ seems kind of unnecessary.</p>
<p>just akward. very, very akward.</p>
<p>unless you’re trying to emphasize the “in a church”
I mean that sounds normal, but you’re making it sound like thats not what you do in a church at all, so maybe put a --in a church! or something if you want more effect, or completely delete it</p>
<p>Why the h would you add “in a church” at the end?</p>
<p>oh, crap. I didn’t mean to add taht last part and I was asking the “deviation” part.</p>