<p>So when i started at cc, i was set on doing a PhD, or medical school; but after not even being in too many relationships but seeing friends start settling down in relationships, see them moving in and throwing house warming parties, now i’m about to start at ucsd, & just want to be done w/ school (which is only 2 years!), get a 9-5 job, and just settle down, forget all these crazy ambitions. Anyone else experiencing the same thing?</p>
<p>That show Modern Family is sooooo not helping either!</p>
<p>You know I think this on a daily basis. I just got engaged on New Years to my high school sweetheart. We started dating when we 15 (sophomore year) and are now 21 (a little behind schedule). A lot of our friends are graduating with B.A’s this year and we’re barely transferring. A couple are set to get married within a year and many are settling down in posh apartments with significant others, almost graduating and with interesting job offers. Me and my fiancee feel desperately behind the others and now i’m questioning if I want to enter the very very competitive world of academic Anthropology or if I would rather earn a teaching credential, hopefully inspire others to love learning and live a “normal” 9 - 5 life with my sweetie.
I hate when I see my struggling professors barely scrapping by, having babies in their mid 40’s and regretting pushing off many things in life to pursue their education. On my death bed, I don’t want to regret any decisions I’ve made and I’m not really sure which path I should pursue. I think I’ve decided to become a teacher and maybe pursue my Ph.D. ambitions in my spare time (not even sure if that’s practical). The most important thing is that you figure our what makes you happy personally and if necessary, throw the rulebook and other’s expectations out the window.</p>
<p>I think about that too… i’ll give up all my archaeology ambitions if the man can support me and is willing to take me around the world and buy me a cute little cottage in the french countryside. :D</p>
<p>but in all honesty, you should pursue your education. nothing is more important than that. you don’t want to regret not fulfilling your goal of getting a phd. and if and when the time is right, you’ll settle down and have a family and you’ll be able to support them and give them something many parents aren’t able to give their children. i think any parent would want their child to go to school for as long as they can and not work the 9-5 job… so why not set an example :D</p>
<p>Congrats on getting engaged!!! that’s awesome!!! + those apartments and area in irvine / new port beach are amazing ; so that must not help much;</p>
<p>grad school seems “fun” (<—really don’t want to use that word, w/e) but community college(not community college it self, but going out and working 44 hour weeks, paying bills, etc. things that the high school student who goes straight to college doesn’t deal with as much) really exposes you to life and shows you how HARD life hits you in the face, plus when at the end of the day when all the ******** of school is over and you find out what you really enjoy is just kicking it with that special someone instead of reading books on biomechanics, quantum physics, etc., makes you think: “Is grad school really worth it?”;</p>
<p>I have felt this way, at times. Granted, I’m only 18 – and heading into my junior year – so I guess I can’t totally empathize. </p>
<p>However, I think the need to stay ambitious is rare among a lot of people. So many settle for that 9 to 5 job, and it’s those who can stay patient who go onto medical school, law school, etc. </p>
<p>Me? I’m too determined, man. That’s what my community college bred, out of the gates, and I’m staying innovative, unique and ambitious. </p>
<p>When I was still in High school I wanted to get into at least UC Davis and be a pre-med majoring in psychology. I actually wanted to be a doctor, but after volunteering at a rehab center it creeped me out.</p>
<p>I never would have thought…oh never mind.</p>
<p>When I started going to a CC I didn’t know what I was going to do, but after some boredom and thoughtful thinking of a program that started me going w/ electronics, I finally bought an RC car. From then on it had problems, so I had to fix it. Months of fixing got me to think, hmm, I actually like this. Then when my REAL car broke down I was the one fixing it. I read up numerous stuff and while working on my car, I thought the same… I like doing this, and this doesn’t feel like working.</p>
<p>So there you go, my story of how I became a Mechanical Engineering major.</p>
<p>As far as the degrees go, I’d say right now I feel like doing at least a Masters. Although I’m leaning a little bit to the lazy side, I cannot forget that getting a job is extremely hard in this economy.</p>
<p>UCIhopeful: You need to live a little my friend. At 21 years old you should not envy people who are moving into posh apartments and settling down…you do that AFTER you have actually lived alittle. That is a boring thing to aspire to and doesnt really count as “settling down”…more like “remaining settled”. </p>
<p>Im 21 also and I work 9-5 at a Biotech lab and let me tell you it drains your soul. Im going to avoid it as long as humanly possible. Iv got some funds set up that will allow me to travel through Mexico/South America for a while after I graduate.</p>
<p>I don’t care what my friends are doing. I was a nanny and I sure as hell do not want children until I’m 30; being someone’s mother for months was enough to make me say: “HELL NO!!!” And settling down?! I can’t even keep a boyfriend for more than two months since I’m so fickle. I want to travel more. I don’t care what my friends are doing. Actually, I look at them and think they’re foolish. They’re throwing their lives away to play house. I don’t want that at all!</p>
<p>Who the hell wants to get married at 21?! Are you guys nuts?! There’s a big world out there and you’re going to waste it all. Once you seal the deal, that’s it. I always say after living in Europe, Americans are so quick to get married and settle for the mundane job. Working hours on hours and never having enough vacation. All my friends that are European and still live in their native country, visit so many countries within one year since the borders are so close. Vacation time is so long for them! They live wonderful carefree lives and usually get married in their late twenties or thirties. Life is too short! Get your crap done and worried about the other stuff later.</p>
<p>Well, I really think it’s a matter of priorities… When I say I want to settle down, I don’t mean become an insignificant person who leaves this world exactly the way it was when they entered it. Marriage for me is something I see as accomplishing the first part of my dream. Both me and my fiancee plan to join the Peace Corps after graduation to fulfill a deep need of ours to help children who can’t even imagine a life like the one I’ve been blessed with.
Currently our standards are set high. She plans to become a family therapist and help severely broken families like her own, and I plan to introduce the love of history, the arts, languages and literature to underprivileged children in urban schools who are often neglected and simply pumped through the system, having been one of those kids myself in the past. We do not consider it “settling” for an ordinary existence if we never find the time to finish the Ph.D. Sometimes life is a little deeper than a piece of paper which proves your worth (although like many of you I definitely want one and am in no way trying to argue its importance).
I too want to travel the world and deepen my understanding of the many fascinating cultures around the globe and bring these experiences to my future students. If someday I am a full-fledged nutritional anthropologist with a research position at say UCLA, it will only be icing on the cake. As cheesy as it may sound, for me education plays second fiddle to getting married and accomplishing my goals of hopefully making a difference in some kids lives…</p>
<p>@UCIhopeful - ahhh congrats on the engagement! my bf and i have been together since we were 16 and we’re both turning 21 this dec. we’re just focused on trying to get to steady jobs before we make any big changes (like getting engaged, moving in together) in our personal lives. i love, love your outlook on life, and reading the above post was really refreshing. and for what its worth, i dont think your priorities sound cheesy at all.</p>
<p>hell the ef no. we have the rest of our lives to “settle”. i want to do things, travel the world, maybe join the peace corps, work on a cruise line as a dancer (i breakdance), and of course go to india and be a guru’s apprentice ;)</p>
<p>^Thanks, and it’s nice to know that there are some young people out there with long term relationships. I totally understand waiting for security before making any big steps in your relationship. Being the expensive and upscale area that it is, if I get into Irvine I will be struggling just to support myself… My philosophy is the only time getting married and moving in together will work is if both individuals are ready to do so. If you take two problems and smash them together, all you end up with is one big problem… @twistnswif - I admire your list of to do’s. I’ve never heard anyone say they want to become a guru’s apprentice.</p>
<p>first of all congrats on your engagement. I also feel like the world passing by so quickly and I’m still here in community college. I’m 21 and I even don’t have a first girlfriend, yet you guys are engaged. Amazing right? Well, all i got to say is to focus on your education and get your degree then get a decent stable job and finally plan for your future. I don’t want you guys get married and be broke.</p>
<p>@ bjt223 I totally agree about waiting for stability and I was just lucky enough to find “the one” early in life. While I am anxious to get married, we have decided that a long engagement works well for us and there will be no wedding bells until B.A.s and decent-paying jobs are firmly in our grasps. As a wise man once said, “good things come to those who wait” - let’s hope so with UCI not releasing decisions for at least a week : )</p>
<p>hahaha bjt223 - i dont want to be broke and married either. and ucihopeful it sounds like were really on the same page when it comes to our personal lives at least haha. good luck to you on uci!</p>
<p>OMG i feel the exact same way!
I am an anthro major as well.
Sometimes I just wish I could be married (although I just recently broke up with myhigh school sweetheart) and be working a 9-5 job, coming home to a nice cozy home, telling my hubby about my day…
but do I want to spend the next 6 years pursuing my phd in anthro?
or should I just teach kids?
i do not know…
and sometimes I feel like I need to make a decision ASAP, bc time feels like its running out…
and I want to travel the world too and explore, which a big reason why I am an anthro major.
When you figure out how to decide, let me know please, because I am just as lost. -/
and congrats on your engagement <3</p>
<p>Mine is the exact opposite. I had absolutely no interest in going to a 4 year university. I started working in the drug and alcohol field at 18 and decided I would just pursue a state counseling certificate. And then I had twins at 20, and their father died.</p>
<p>Due to my life circumstances, their fathers and what I have seen my community go through I am now more into getting an education than I have ever been before. My goal is to become a lawyer and do youth advocacy work. </p>
<p>Having kids and loving someone THAT much just made me want to be a productive member of society. I can’t wait to show my daughter what it means to be an educated woman in today’s society. And I can’t wait to show my son that we can make a difference…</p>
<p>I don’t plan on getting married until I’m at least 30, if at all. There’s too much that I wanna do, too much I don’t want to give up. I don’t think I want kids, so there’s that, too.</p>