<p>My mom would TOTALLY use the camera phone trick with my 17 year old sister if she could be trusted with a camera phone, she isn’t allowed to have one. They are not as wickedly clever when it comes to keeping her behavior in check as they are mine. </p>
<p>She has a three minute grace period on her curfew and after that every three minutes is a day of grounding. She got grounded for a week yesterday and is very unpleasant now, I am thinking I may need to find someone to drive me someplace else for a few days. XD</p>
<p>I think for a college junior, it would be a courtesy to give an ETA on when returning to parents home. As to who what when where how, I probably would not ask too much, but would hope to get some info. Girls should always have a cell phone with them.</p>
<p>For HS D, a lot more info required. I think the DNA sample sounds good as well as a GPS tracking device. I think a lot of maturity happens between 16 and 20.</p>
<p>Also, for any students out there, if you return home late, take shoes off immediately upon entering parents house. I woke up the entire house once.</p>
<p>When she is out with someone I don’t particularily care for…I set the alarm and make myself very visable when she comes home. There were times the grass needed watering in the wee hours. I have found that these simple things usually get the message across that I don’t like the guy. He knows it and so does she, yet nothing was said about him.</p>
<p>When my D was in college, I asked her to let me know what time she would be home. If she was going to be more than half an hour later, she had to call me to let me know. If for some reason even that estimate was off, she had to call again to let me know. </p>
<p>One night she went to a friend’s apartment to play poker with a group of friends. Call came, she’d be another hour. Call came, she’d be another hour. Call came, she’d be another hour…but I didn’t answer. I had fallen into a sound sleep. Just too exhausted to stay awake. The next thing I knew my D was in my bedroom. “Mommy!!! Are you okay! I was SO scared. You didn’t answer, so I threw in my hand and raced home. I thought you’d had a heart attack or a stroke or you’d fallen. or I kept imagining all sorts of terrible things. You’ve no idea how much you SCARED me!!!” At least she got a taste of what it feels like when you’re waiting for the call or she doesn’t pick up her cell…:)</p>
<p>My daughter has a 1 am car curfew as well, because it is my car she is driving, but that doesn’t stop her, she drives the car home and a friend follows her then picks her up.</p>
<p>I’m glad I’m past all this. Although my youngest is a rising junior in college, she’s rather conservative so I rarely worry. My S, on the other hand… We’ve had calls from the police station more than once. </p>
<p>One thing I’ve got to say – the surveillance tricks are not really worth the psychic damage, and I mean on the parent. It just encourages the kid to come up with ways of getting around it, rather than changing their attitude. It becomes a game to them – how can I pull one over on Mom? I just went for the guilt by telling him, often, that I trusted him and he did not want to betray that and have us lose our faith in him. Because that would be the END. It didn’t really stop him, but nothing would have, short of chaining him to the radiator. I just wanted him to have my voice in his head. And believe me, it’s in there to this day.</p>
<p>D has just come home after her freshman year at college. I asked her simply to be courteous and let us know what her plans are. I have absolute faith in her decision making- unless she is driving my car. I drive a sports car (like a granny) and she likes to drive it like a Formula One driver. I would admire her skill if I wasn’t so scared. She drives like her father. She is out this afternoon meeting some friends and asked to drive my car while her dad is working on hers. I reminded her that any speeding tickets etc. are her responsibility. I got the eye roll. This is probably the last time she will need/get to drive a car other that hers.</p>
<p>Actually, I was harder on my son than my daughter.</p>
<p>My son is the one who got the speech about how in today’s society, a young woman cannot be forced to become a parent against her will, but a young man can. </p>
<p>He also got the speech about how a civilized male college student does not allow a female friend to walk home alone late at night.</p>
<p>And the one about how when a girl says “no,” she means “no.”</p>
<p>There are no female equivalents to any of these speeches.</p>
<p>Haha the 1 am “car curfew” seems to be common. I’m a boy though and as long as my Civic is in the garage, I can stay out as late as I want provided I let my parents know what I plan on doing.</p>
<p>“My son is the one who got the speech about how in today’s society, a young woman cannot be forced to become a parent against her will, but a young man can.”</p>
<p>I have three boys. They are reminded on a regular basis that their LAST decision is weather or not to become sexually active and have unprotected sex. After that they can give opinions, offer support, but the decisions made are not theirs.</p>
<p>"and the one about how when a girl says “no,” she means “no.” "</p>
<p>We also let our boys know that a “yes” often means “no” as well.</p>
<p>Some may not agree with this attitude, but when they are in a relationship, we remind them that they are responsible for that young ladies safety in every way. They love her and would never intentionally cause her harm…well that includes being responsible for her safety while driving her in a car, being responsible for the decisions they make in a physical relationship (do NOT put them in a position to make a bad decision), be clear with her parents when she is to be home and stick to that. If rules are broken that is his fault. If she suggests they go somewhere they are not supposed to, she may get in trouble, he will be shown the door by her parents and never welcomed again. The relationship is over. He needs to take responsibility when he takes her out. No one needs to be controlling in a relationship, but if there is a continual conflict over breaking rules this is not a relationship he should be in.</p>
<p>^^^^I have had the same talks with my sons for years. It is obvious that many parents of sons have not. There is only one young man that I know my daughter is safe with at all times. As for others I could tell that they still have growing up to do and that their own wishes would come first.</p>