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<p>Lafalum, my SIL attended Churchman. She’s become a high-fallutin’ snob who would just die if anyone in her crowd knew she went there.</p>
<p>We were at a party this weekend where we only knew about half the people, and no one at our table. So of course we were talking kids, and the woman next to me mentioned that her S was a senior at the same hs where DD is a sophomore. </p>
<p>Since we have a senior S at a different school and are in the throes of college applications, I stupidly say “oh, are you in the middle of college applications now?” She scoffs and says “Oh, no, we’re not doing any of that stuff.” Like it was some ridiculous idea. I was curious then about what the S was planning, but I didn’t dare ask. Just seemed so bizarre because it wasn’t like “oh, S is talking to military recruiters” or “S is so great with fixing things, he’s looking at becoming an auto mechanic”, etc. Any sort of thing would have engendered a “oh, that’s great” from me.</p>
<p>Maybe he’s working on his MRS degree and just wants to get married . . .</p>
<p>Maybe she just meant that SHE wasn’t doing any of that stuff and was leaving it all up to the kid? Still kind a strange response to an innocent question!</p>
<p>sylvan - Maybe the parents are doing everything they can to just get the kid to finish high school. I knew a family like that years ago… the graduation party was to congratulate themselves for surviving. The story has a happy ending though. The kid matured and went to college and works at a college. I think is now working on a phD ;)</p>
<p>I have been known to suffer foot in mouth disease. </p>
<p>I once blurted out during my mah jongg game that “all the kids at Brandeis hate it there,” after one of the women announced her son had just gotten accepted. </p>
<p>Then I repeated the story during my tennis game and one of the ladies said, “I went there.”</p>
<p>Oops.</p>
<p>Or maybe the student was going straight to a community college? No application stress.</p>
<p>My son auditioned for 5 tough musical theatre programs and was accepted to three of them. Amazing! His best fit ended up being a state school just an hour or so down the road (we are lucky to be so close), so for some reason it seems less glamorous than the one 12 hours away, even to him. We get it, but he is soooo happy and it has turned out to be a great decision. Lots of terrific opportunities.</p>
<p>Now there is a girl at his high school auditioning for similar programs this year. She and her mom have said several times DIRECTED TO ME that “she is auditioning at _____ but she doesn’t even know why…because she is NOT going there. (wrinkled up nose)” Just last night…“we are going to visit _____ tomorrow, but, of course, the plan is NOT to end up there.”</p>
<p>CLASSY!! Smile and nod.</p>
<p>p.s. the truth is, the programs she IS auditioning for are SOOO exclusive and the competition so tough, she may be begging to “end up” at my son’s school…I guess she thinks anyone can just walk right in THERE and grace the school with their presence. How offensive! I will try to be kind next spring if things don’t work out quite the way she planned! :D</p>
<p>“I would have never thought YOU of all people would move to another continent when your daughter went to college”</p>
<p>We had to move to China for my husband’s job…to be able to pay for said college…and I already feel like CRAP about it, but thank you for helping me to feel worse. </p>
<p>I am miss the heck out of her.</p>
<p>^^The ironic thing is that <em>you</em> probably hope she doesn’t end up there as well, as S hardly needs more ego-maniacs to contend with in his musical theatre performances. :)</p>
<p>^^Sylvan, that is very unkind. But in my house “funny TRUMPS mean”…I LOVE IT! 
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<p>Truly, tho, she is a good friend of my son’s (and at one point a love interest, I think) And she’s a talented character actress and singer. I would hate for her to shoot so high that she doesn’t end up ANYWHERE because she would be great. She’s 17 and unrealistic…what’s the mom’s excuse?!</p>
<p>S1 is in a tough/dangerous program in the Navy. Getting in is very competitive. Making it through the training even moreso. He worked very hard for the last two years of college to get accepted into the program.</p>
<p>When people around town ask about him, their reactions to my answer always go along the lines of “Why would he want to do that? Couldn’t he have done something else? Did the Navy make him do it?”
They assume he got stuck with doing a scutt work job when actually, in the military world, it’s highly respected and something he worked hard for.</p>
<p>It irks me up but I understand the avg. person doesn’t know a lot about military specialties or the intense training involved.<br>
So I just smile and nod.</p>
<p>Now that the next crop of seniors are in the throes of college admissions, I’m revisiting the experience with backhanded comments because quite a few people have said to me something like “Oh, we’re not looking at schools far from home. We just don’t see the need to send our child miles away, and besides, OUR daughter/son WANTS to stay close to home.”</p>
<p>Yup, mine hates me and that’s why she’s on the opposite coast.</p>
<p>I was at a meeting yesterday with someone who had something not nice to say about D’s college (where she is a freshman) and a school that S really loves (he’s a soph and just starting his search). She combined it with positive things, but felt compelled to add the negative. I have to remind myself that people like this only think the colleges where THEIR kids go to school is perfect. As much as I love discussing colleges with other parents, this is a great reason not to get into such conversations.</p>
<p>I’m from Canada attending Duke and the vast majority have never heard of it. I get asked where I’m going, then a “why on earth would you go there” then they ask if I have a scholarship find out no and then lament how expensive it is.</p>
<p>PackMom – I totally sympathize – D is interested in Navy (she’ll get her app in at some point) and when I told friends of her interest, they said “I would never let my daughter go there!” Which made me feel like the worst mom, ever. Then they said, “it’s free, right?” As if that’s why I felt comfortable risking her safety. At first, I tried to defend her (it’s very tough to get into; it offers great leadership training) but now I don’t even do the “smile and nod”. I’m evasive. When they ask what schools she’s looking at, I just say “oh – all the same ones everyone else wants to go to!” or “I don’t know – I’m leaving it up to her.” Because once you say a school, EVERYONE has a comment.</p>
<p>Classof2015…good luck to your D and get that app. in soon. </p>
<p>People have actually said the me “I hope he doesn’t get blown up”…ummm yeah, me too.</p>
<p>When I told a neighbor S1 and roommate were renting an apt. close to the ocean, she sniffed and said “our tax dollars paying for them to live by the beach”<br>
Hello…all Naval bases are near the ocean…where are they supposed to live?
Once again…smile and nod.</p>
<p>Classof2015, what *is *an appropriate response?</p>
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<p>There *is * a safety concern with any kid joinng the military which simply isn’t there with kids going away to college. Is it okay to say, “you’re both very brave” or even ask if it is difficult for you?</p>
<p>^ I was surprised to find a Navy son of a friend was stationed on the Great Lakes.</p>
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I would suggest saying, “Even a mother’s concerns can’t resist patriotism like hers.”</p>