<p>The other thing we all have to realize is that certain professions invoke a negative response in some segments of the population - cops, dentists, investment bankers, the military, make your own list. I bet the moms of kids who want to be dentists get their share of “oh, I hate the dentist” but moms of kids who want to be ophthalmologists never hear, “oh, I hate the ophthalmologist.” Most of us are polite enough to keep our feelings to ourselves, but as this thread shows, some of us aren’t.</p>
<p>When I’ve had friends with kids in the military, ROTC, or considering the service academies, I just say, “You must be so proud.” Because it’s true. And because “I hope they stay safe” kind of goes without saying.</p>
<p>I am surprised at how insensitive some people are, especially adults. I was told by my relatives that there is no excuse for my kids not to get into ivy leagues especially since they go to a private high school. </p>
<p>‘Unfortunately’, my oldest one ended up at UCLA, and did not meet their expectations. I wish I could bring some tapes for the next family gathering and tape their mouths shut.</p>
<p>Fortunately, my kids all know very well that those uncles and aunts are all idiots!! They also know that we, the parents do not only value academic excellence. We are proud of them as long as they do their personal best at everything.</p>
<p>I think my husband’s side of the family is the opposite of your relatives, collegeproject. They would be a lot more impressed if a kid played a sport at college, even a DIII, than if they were admitted to an Ivy (esp if the Ivy wasn’t Harvard or Yale because those are the only two they could name.)</p>
<p>I suspect that if my S got into Yale, I would still hear people telling me “it’s in a bad neighborhood.”</p>
<p>I’ve heard the “bad neighborhood” rap about one college my D really liked (she got deferred) and one college that is high on my S list. I really want to shout: COMPARED TO WHAT?? Compared to staying in your home with your doors locked? Safety is an issue on every campus, as far as I can tell. Schools take it seriously and students need to have their head about them.</p>
<p>I went to Northwestern - how much nicer of an area could you live in? There was STILL crime on the lakefront. If you walk alone at 3 am, all bets are off.</p>
<p>If S gets in to Yale, I think I will chance it.</p>
<p>(Sorry for the rant - I had to get this off my chest!)</p>
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<p>Some of your kids will be admitted to really terrific schools. As you’re fielding comments, just be aware that some of the parents will be thinking “I’m so darned jealous I can hardly stand it” so they are struggling to find anything to say.</p>
<p>cProject- we made an intense priority of our kids HS education and when D1 attended a UC, mainly for financial reasons as we did not realise how west coast home equity would affect our EFC at Profile schools, BIL made all sorts of snarky, “why’d you do all the crazy stuff for HS”</p>
<p>At the time (nearly 10 years ago, so finaid was a bit different, too) that was D1 and I did not know how things would end up. At the time, I felt the sting of his words. Flash forward, two kids attended UCs, one a private LAC. One kid is 2 years from a PhD, one kid is beginning an MD.</p>
<p>His son dropped out of a very lowly state school in his state, though his other is attending a lower Cal State level school. He is not college educated and education is not a priority for his family. Now that we are on the other side of so much of it, it is amazing to see how big a deal it is when education is or is not made a priority within the family.</p>
<p>People who choose other priorities justify those priorities to themselves, they are not really attacking us as much as they are bolstering their own choices by finding fault either with our choices or with the way things appear to have worked out the way they should or not…no concern for fit, all about braggin’ rights.</p>
<p>missypie,</p>
<p>The same relative also commended that if my son doesn’t end up playing on the varsity team, it’d be a waste of our time for competitive basketball since the age of 5. He has no clue that our high school is ranked top 5 in the nation for sports.</p>
<p>We value the progress and not just the results - how many NBA players are there? If that’s the only reason for playing sports, everyone shouldn’t even bother…</p>
<p>The bottom line is, I didn’t ask for parenting advices and they just couldn’t keep their mouth shut. Like the other posts said, I’ll see how well and happy their kids turned out since they know it all…</p>
<p>My son is considering Marine Officer Training and if one more person says “How can you let him do that?” Let? He’s 19. I was initially resistant, becasue of fear for his safety, but all naysayers have made me realize how proud I’ll be if he does it, still scared but proud. The worst has been my sister and sister-in-law, anti war translated to anti-military. They acted as if he were planning a career as a criminal.</p>
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<p>My nephew was the grandparents’ darling because he was very athletic from a very young age. He really was talented but by senior year the future superstar had so many injuries that he was only playing a bit of golf. Needless to say he is not playing college sports.</p>
<p>BUT, he spent so much time at the phsysical therapists that it led him to his future career. He just stated college and wants to be a athletic trainer or a PT.</p>
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<p>As hurtful as it is, it is good for your son to know that not everyone supports the military. (The Vietnam vets sure knew that!) If they are *rational, intelligent *people, it might be good for your son to have a conversation with S and SIL about why they are anti war and anti military. Same deal if someone is going to become a cop. They need to be able to come to grips with the fact that even though they are risking their very lives, their service won’t be appreciated by everyone.</p>
<p>D was at the tailor’s getting clothing ready to take to college. She needed it by a certain date. Another customer overheard and asked where she was going. She said, “Amherst.” The gentleman said that perhaps if she applied herself and did well, then she might be able to transfer to UT!</p>
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<p>Is your D sure he wasn’t kidding? I know some Texas A&M alums who would say “try to transfer to A&M” that no matter what school the kid said they were attending.</p>
<p>MIL told us that DS “needs” to go to one of THESE THREE big state schools. Because that’s the only way he will get a job afterward. I guess she forgot that my H (her son), my nephew (her GS, whom she practically raised herself) and I all went to the same Tiny In-state Public Really-Low-Tier school and all are doing pretty well for ourselves, if I do say so myself.</p>
<p>Just smile and nod.</p>
<p>You guys are making me dread Thanksgiving with family this year…</p>
<p>Thank goodness no one in our family is critical of S1’s choice of a career in the Navy.
Have only seen him for one day in 2010.
He will be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year…whoopee.</p>
<p>Hey MissyPie – if there is an appropriate response to the comments that suggest I put my daughter’s safety at risk just because USNA is free, I guess I would say (but haven’t yet): she feels it’s important to defend our country, and this is how she sees herself doing it. Maybe that would shut 'em up. I’m DAR, and so (by extension) is she, and I’ve talked about our revolutionary ancestors giving their lives for this country, which would surprise you if you met me because on some issue, I can side with the liberal point of view. But she feels strongly that this country needs strong leaders, and perhaps some of those leaders can be well trained females. It’s not like the men are doing such a great job.</p>
<p>Hunt – just saw this now – I love that response – I’m using it (no royalties – sorry).</p>
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So they said something and then immediately contradicted themselves. Sure, it’s free, but they wouldn’t pay the price to let their daughter go there. The highest prices are not paid with money.</p>
<p>^Right, Sylvan. It’s like a combination of harsh censure and envy, all while making jabs at your ability to protect and care for your child. Which is why, now, I say nothing. Because being honest has exposed some prejudices and hostility I didn’t know existed. She just wants to serve her country. And I want to let her. What’s wrong with that?</p>