I wanted to skip my college graduation but my parents insisted. I’m sure my daughter will attend hers as she will be singing at it with the college’s singing ensemble.
I skipped my own college graduation ceremony and so did DS. We went to DD’s ceremony, but Reed is such a small school that all the students and all the parents fit nicely under a fairly small tent on the front lawn. In a wonderful fluke of fate, they’d asked that all applause be held until the last diploma was awarded–and it was DD’s diploma, so we got to stand and cheer wildly for her. In a further fluke, the speaker was someone I knew from when I was in high school, so that was fun, too.
I don’t remember my own college graduation ceremony. I know I went, because I have the cap and gown pictures. I remember that my parents and grandmother were there, and it was a beautiful day, and we enjoyed taking pictures and having a little champagne, etc. But the actual ceremony? Complete blank.
Therefore, if my kid wants to skip the ceremony, I have no objection. We will still celebrate and make a big stinkin’ deal out it!
My youngest nephew is graduating from the same college as my girls. I will be attending the graduation for the 4th time, and each time it is just as exciting. Joe Biden is speaking at the senior convocation this year, so I am definitely pumped up for it.
I attended my undergrad, but not grad.
My son did not want to attend his graduation, 6+ hours away, on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. I would have been there to support him if he wanted to go, but I was NOT that disappointed to have him miss it.
I think I’d accept my child’s decision not to attend, not question it, or make an issue of my personal feelings. I’d suggest a nice dinner instead, and ask who to include and invite. Honestly, graduation ceremony isn’t necessarily the “big deal”, the act of graduation is.
For us, there are certain ceremonies that we insist upon, but others are choices. HS grad is mandatory as grandparents come in for it. S had Eagle Court of Honor, and D just had her Gold Award reception yesterday. D is skipping Senior Honors Night at the HS - she could care less & I am quite happy not to sit through 2 hours of it - I just have to force her to at least go to the office to get whatever awards she receives. She still has a plaque from the Girl Scout council still in the package from years ago - she really, really doesn’t care about the hoopla.
I remember going to college grad ceremony, only because fiance was also walking & his family expected it. I don’t remember my parents even coming to it and I only have pictures with husband & his family, so my parents must have skipped it. For kids college, they do departmental events, so they will most likely just do those & skip the big graduation event. And I will be thankful!
In my nuclear family, HS graduation is the biggie. Relatives and parents show up and the graduate is bedecked with leis and gifts. For college, grad/pro school, my parents rarely attended – only one sibbling and one grandchild. It’s just not as big a deal, for whatever reason. Graduating is great–the ceremony is good for folks who want it but not crucial for those who prefer not to participate.
In my family, though all graduations are regarded highly and we try our best to attend them all we tend to regard the college graduation as more of a milestone than HS or grad school(exception being a PhD graduation).
We were just at graduation yesterday for our oldest. We ended up leaving the big ceremony at the stadium early. It was hot and uncomfortable.
We re-grouped and attended the smaller departmental ceremony in the afternoon, where each student’s name is called. So glad we went to that one. We were able to meet some of her favorite professors afterwards. That was the loveliest part of the day.
The departmental smaller celebrations are definitely much nicer than the huge ones, in our experience. We attended both for each kid.
Most graduation ceremonies are streamed live now. You can listen to the boring speeches from the comfort of your own home.
Sometimes there are conflicts that can’t be anticipated. This past Friday were all the graduations for at least the state colleges in our area. I met a women graduating from one at exactly the same time as her sister was graduating from another. Parents split up. Also know some kids who couldn’t participate in the graduation on Friday morning as they were playing in the NCAA tournament in a different city in the afternoon.
DS didn’t attend his HS or college graduation ceremonies, which wasn’t surprising given his personality, but I was still a little bummed. I did get him to at least don a cap and gown (with cords, medals, etc,) for pictures, so that was our compromise.
I just came back from my son’s endless graduation. I believe there were a zillion graduates. Maybe I got that number because I was in the nosebleed seats in an urban sports arena, and I desperately had to pee for at least two hours.
And I’m afraid of heights so I was afraid to go down the stairs to the ladies room.
When commencement loomed, I messaged him that even though the ceremony might turn out to be lame, I’d appreciate it if he’d go through with it, because,well,just because. I’m a fan of rites of passage, and this is one. And since my son is an easy-going sort, and I think he might like Pomp and Circumstance as well, he agreed.
While I was miles high, suffering, he was thoroughly enjoying his moment, because he got to sit with the graduates in his major who have been his buddies for these four years. They all planned the same dopey gesture for when they crossed the stage for the benefit of the jumbotron. They cracked jokes in a giant arena and enjoyed their last time together.
He got to sit with his friends because the graduates created a “name pronunciation” card, and the name was read by computer. So it was as if your GPS was reading off your kid’s name, along with any honors. Impersonal? Well of course, but friends got to sit together, and have a great time for the last time.
He said it was an awesome day, and he’s glad he did it, but he’s glad he never has to do it again. Same here.
long hot day(lots of sweating) large crowds, parking is a problem (it is a law that parking most be stressful at all graduations) the students and professors, principal , dean (depending if it is high school or college) babble on about the same nonsense.(also must be a law) I put it in the same category has prom.(no thank you)
p.s. I do not even know where my high school or college diplomas are. either in my parents house in a box or in my house in a box?
I think a lot depends on the size of the school. We just came from S’s graduation, about 800 in the class. The weekend was wonderful - department receptions where we got to meet professors and his classmates, a dinner/party for families. There was a candle lighting ceremony the night before the actual graduation. Then the graduation was attended by almost every graduate. There were only 4 or 5 names announced as “in abstentia” and I loved seeing the kids walk across the stage - different professors would get up to shake hands for many of them which was nice.
Of course the reading of the names was tedious and I confess I did walk around a bit after I heard S name. After the ceremony there were photos of the classmates in his major, his freshman hall, etc etc. A lovely day.
If the school is a very large one where the graduates stand en masse and it’s not personalized, I can see possibly skipping it.
When FS graduated, he opted out of the large university graduation in the morning…but opted IN to the smaller department graduation in the afternoon…which was terrific!
So…in the morning, we packed up his apartment and went out to breakfast. He got multiple texts from friends about how awful the commencement speaker was. Oh…and it was raining…and this was held outdoors…period.
The school handed out rain ponchos that looked like dry cleaning bags with hoods.
We were happy to attend the dry, indoor department ceremony later on the day.
I hold 5 degrees and only attended 2 graduation ceremonies. I did not go to my first undergrad graduation because both of my parents were deceased. I just wanted to pick up my diploma and move on.
I went to the graduation ceremony for my for my first and last grad degrees (from my school but not the school wide graduations) because I felt it was a celebration for her also because during that time went to grad school as a single parent and literally took her to class with me, wanted her to see that there was an end game. When I asked her about another ceremony and if she wanted to attend, she asked if we can do something fun together, so we ditched the ceremony and went to the Atlantis. We went to the last one because it was the last one and it was the degree was important to me because I was following my passion.
My D went to graduation from undergrad (it was during a heat wave, outdoors, very hot and humid). I remember her walking across the stage in flip flops an shades and did not wear her original outfit because the weather so hot. I think it was important to her because she was walking with all of her friends.
She went to her law school graduation (where she received her degree when she walked across the stage), but not to the school wide- ceremony (she felt no purpose for it because she already had her degree). Again both were during a heat wave where it was very hot and humid.
Another benefit of a small LAC - entire event was 1 hour 45 minutes, no ticket limitations, no hassle, and everyone had a decent seat. 
Lol, @doschicos - same here. And plenty of shade. Ceremony was quite pleasant in every aspect.