Kid Let Go

<p>From something I found on Yahoo:</p>

<p>Bounce Back From Defeat
 With nearly 15 million workers unemployed right now in the U.S., it’s easy to get discouraged. Don’t! Most successful and wealthy people have overcome obstacles and failure along the way. Steve Jobs was ousted from Apple when he was 30.</p>

<p>The first time I was fired, I was 17. It was from a part time job at a very large company, where I was already offered a summer job at. The reason was I showed up at work wearing a pair of shorts because I had just came from school and it was a very hot day. It was totally my fault. My parents were upset because I needed the money for college. But they didn’t blame me or tried to make it into a teaching moment. My dad just said, “It happens and don’t feel too badly about it.” my parents didn’t have to say anything, I knew I messed up. Ever since then, I always made sure I had the right attire for work, and it has helped me in my career. </p>

<p>I would say just give your kid a lot of hugs now. If he wants you to help him analyze it, do so, but try not to be too critical. </p>

<p>I am sorry.</p>

<p>From what I can recall of your posting history, I think you will handle this situation well. Start by being supportive … a shoulder to cry on. Let him talk it through with you. You will probably be able to sense some important things from the conversations: Was it a good fit? Do his skills/interests match what he was asked to do on the job? Was he punctual? How did he interact with his coworkers? Had his manager ever indicated any issues with his performance at any point? You should be able to get a feel for things and give some advice based on what you hear from him. </p>

<p>Sometimes it is the boss who has a problem. Sometimes the employee could have done things differently. Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense, no matter how you look at it. The important thing is to figure out whatever it is that CAN be figured out, discuss those things, talk about how they might be handled in the future … and most important, brainstorm ways to turn the lemons into lemonade. Sometimes the events that seem to be devastating actually end up being the best thing that ever happened.</p>

<p>My best to your son (and to you - we are often only as happy as our least happy child).</p>

<p>I would like an HR professional to jump in here … but “for cause” generally implies to me that the employee did something WRONG. As in excessive tardiness or absence, stealing, dishonesty, even dramatically poor work performance.</p>

<p>“Not a good fit” implies … well not a good fit. That’s not “for cause”.</p>

<p>Generally large companies follow a very straight path before a “firing” because there are legal implications. Most employees are “at will” and companies can let them go for a multitude of reasons that are not technically going to prevent a severed employee for collecting unemployment or truthfully answering “no” to the future employment applications question of were you ever fired. I’m troubled also by the OPs use of the “for cause” language. All states have their own language but generally the line of differentiation is whether the employee was faultless in losing their job. “Not a good fit” also is vague. It can be “not a good fit” because the company is restructuring department (employee is faultless) or “not a good fit” because the employee has performance issues (fault). Performance issues leading to a firing generally follow a series of steps from a conversation and plan to improve performance, documentation of the employees problems, etc. etc. etc. </p>

<p>Once the OP has an opportunity to talk to her son I’m sure the circumstances will be clear. The son should still call the state unemployment office but the one month job history may be problematic for collecting unemployment.</p>

<p>Most firms are allowed to let people go the first 3 months without a lot of paperwork. It’s during a trial period.</p>

<p>“Isn’t a good fit” could mean so many things, not necessarily “for cause” (which implies some malfeasance). Not a good fit could mean a personality clash or it could mean that the job and the employee’s skills aren’t a good fit or not fitting into the corporate culture…it would be nice to get someone to speak to exactly what the problem was, with the object of using that information moving forward.</p>

<p>The hard part will be to find someone who will be honest and to keep your mouth shut while listening to this person.</p>

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<p>Good advice for so many situations, ellemenope!</p>

<p>People have offered a lot of good advice including books, You tube clips, etc. My advice is stick to the less is more principle. You can always say something later, give him these things, but we moms have a tendency to babble on too much. I know I don’t appreciate it when someone over-fixes or offers what I can learn from an experience. </p>

<p>I think I would remember (as a dear friend once pointed out) that God gave us two ears and one mouth - use accordingly! I think the most important thing for your son to hear is that you love him and are proud of HIM, not his latest trophy.</p>

<p>Thanks Kelsmom for the encouragement about my previous posts, etc. I would not say for cause I would say not a good fit. Those were the words the boss used. Essentially he was hired by a new mgr who wanted to make some changes. Others were not “on board” with that plan.<br>
He has to go back tomorrow and return some company items. I am going to encourage him to ask more questions. They did tell him he was a smart kid and they felt that the job wasn’t challenging enough for him. He was definitely bored and they sensed that. Corporate culture also played a part… He was also two weeks shy of benefits…so yes, probationary period.
He had saved up some money and is living with us. I am not going to encourage him to apply for unemployment. He can and will find another position. For the record there was no coaching/counseling about performance. I have worked in HR and am familiar with all of that stuff.<br>
I guess I was more emotionally shocked when I originally posted and looking for some encouragement which I did get from lots of posters and some PMs. :)</p>

<p>I was fired from my first job out of college 25 years ago. It really was a poor fit - a terrible fit and my time there was the most miserable 18 months of my life. My parents knew this and were very understanding. I moved home, enrolled in graduate school (paying for it myself with an assistantship) and continued a relationship with a guy I knew from college. My dad questioned why I wanted to get a masters in a field completely different from my undergraduate degree - I told that he’d always said “Don’t make the same mistakes I made” and that he’d always regretted not going to medical school. He never said a word after that. I finished my masters, married my boyfriend, and never looked back. Being fired was the best thing that ever happend to me.</p>

<p>I was fired from my first real (intended to be permanent) job after 5 months. Bad start, bad fit, bad situation. </p>

<p>I found another job in a somewhat related field, but involving a very different type of work. I have been doing that type of work ever since. Moreover, although I wasn’t thinking of it at the time, my new line of work was very adaptable to part-time or freelance work while raising a family, something that would not have been possible in my old line of work. I continued doing the new type of work on a less-than-full-time basis throughout the years when my kids were growing up.</p>

<p>Getting fired actually worked out rather well in the long run.</p>

<p>ebeee,
So the manager did give him some feedback – he/she felt your S is smart and his skills would be better used in a more challenging position, they envisioned this as a FT replacing two PT folks, but new business plans changed that model. That’s definitely not for cause.</p>

<p>My BIL was fired from his first FT job after college – realized pretty quickly he was not meant for the investment banking world. Had a job at AT&T six weeks later and has been there ever since (1996), through reorganizations, new management, etc. Much better fit for him, he loves his job, his employees love him, and he has a balanced life.</p>

<p>I was let go ten years ago – my boss retired, new boss came in with a background very similar to mine, decided (based on some of the feedback I had provided about what my job entailed) that they needed to hire someone with more of a mental health background. Was tough to take, but was absolutely the right decision all around. The fallout from losing that job also got me into my doctor, which led to my diagnosis a year later. It all worked out.</p>

<p>DH and I own a business and have both fired people and been fired…Usually it ended up being a good thing for everyone involved. Just tough to take that initial blow and I find myself overthinking the economy and dwelling on stories of it taking months for recent grads to find jobs. DS is now questioning his ultimate career path and I am encouraging him strongly to get together with a couple of professionals in our area who are familiar with the company he just left and their culture and are familiar with the general culture of their field. I am concerned about him not having a purpose in his life in the short term and him not making a good decision for the future based on one bad experience.</p>

<p>ebeeee, I would think, based on where your S went to school, that he is a resourceful person used to thinking in practical ways about his future. (That’s the gift of Northeastern, I think.) He will figure it out. And “not having a purpose in his life in the short term” may very well prompt him to do some very intense, and therefore more effective, soul searching. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for him, and for you. But somehow I think it will all turn out well. My thoughts are with you :)</p>

<p>Thanks. I surely needed that. You are correct about NEU. He has had good work experience and has an excellent resume…</p>