<p>My younger S is in the last week of his jr year and has been very successful in school. He took a full load of AP classes and does a ton of EC’s at school. He took 5 AP tests early this year and was happy once they were done and never thought about them again. He took the Math and Chem SAT II in early May. After the tests he was mad at himself thinking he made several stupid mistakes. (He ending up with an 800 and 750) Last week he took the SAT and was happy after he took the test but as the weekend went on was more and more disappointed with his test. He has the ACT coming up. I am worried he will do the same. I know part of the problem is the expectations he sets for himself. </p>
<p>S1 never ever did this, he took the tests once and walked away and forgot about them. He is also going to a really great college and I know S2 wants the same for himself.</p>
<p>What do we do to keep him from doing the same in the future? Not talk about the test at all? Go see a movie right after the test? Send him to Grandmas? ???</p>
<p>Anyone else with this problem?</p>
<p>I didn’t have the same problem but I might be able to offer some advice. Encourage your son to start looking at actual colleges. There are many great schools that admit kids with a range of scores. There are many that don’t care about ACT/SAT scores, too. Have him focus on where he wants to be a year from now, not just a single factor of his admissions “portfolio.” Maybe when he starts visualizing the outcome, rather than simply the “inputs,” it will become more real to him and he will be less anxious.</p>
<p>And definitely, don’t talk about the test after. See a movie AND get ice cream.</p>
<p>^ Thanks for the advice. We defintely won’t talk about it. Maybe we’ll go to the Avengers. </p>
<p>I actually think the colleges he is looking at are part of the problem. He knows that it takes great scores (among other things) to get into those colleges (Ivy’s) and it makes him worry.</p>
<p>His scores sound great, but he needs to look at schools other than just HYP. There are so many great schools out there and some of them might even be a better fit for him. So yes, a movie, ice cream, a hug and think outside of that Ivy box.</p>
<p>I truly believe that scores are a very small piece of Ivy admissions. There’s a threshold to get past (and 750 is definitely good enough) beyond which a better score is not going to make much difference. It’s all the squishy parts of the application that will actually determine who gets accepted and who doesn’t. So when the scores come in, you say, “Great scores! Those are good enough for anywhere!” and then move on. I agree there’s no point in even talking about the test right afterwards. Clearing the brain with a movie is probably a good idea.</p>
<p>^ I fully agree. Thanks.</p>
<p>I think kids drive each other crazy, kind of like CC sometimes. Sometimes it helps to speak with a knowledgeable counselor to get the real scoop and set his expectations. He maybe more calm when he knows 2350 is not going to give him a better chance of getting into a top tier school than a 2250. Even with a 2350, his chance of getting into HYP is still very low. If he doesn’t get into one of those schools, there are other schools and you would still be very proud of him no matter what.</p>
<p>I like the idea of going to a movie. That will certainly take his mind off of the test. The advice about looking at colleges now is a good idea as well. Anything that will make him see the big picture is going to help. It is easy for kids to get focused on just one thing that bothers them instead of looking at the many things that are going well. Maybe that is a case for any age actually.</p>
<p>I would talk to him about obsessing over the test. Just give the advice that once it is done, you have to let go. You can study more for the next thing, or something like that. Helping him to deal by reminding him of accomplishments and all the things that he is doing well will help too, hopefully.</p>
<p>Sometimes the best thing to do is to get busy. When my kid gets worked up over things and there is nothing whatsoever to be done about it, i tell her to remember the good this or that and then we do something that will make her forget or at least put it in the back of her mind. Shopping is good, but mine is a girl, so that might be different in your case!</p>
<p>You need to make a rule…no discussions, no looking up answers, no college Internet stuff for 24 hours after any test. Make it fun…show up after test with a milkshake, movie tickets, or go for a bike ride</p>
<p>As well, you my be adding to the plate with oh full load this, tons of ecs, wow…and do not not not talk about college with any family members, co workers etc specifically about son, generalities are fine, but no “he is looking at these colleges, his scores are this” and if family asks, just say, ph we are looking at lots of places!!!</p>
<p>Son needs to be able to not have every conversation re college, he will get enough at school</p>
<p>Truthfully, part of the problem is he’s taking too darn many tests! I can’t figure out how it became the thing to do to take both the SAT and ACT and in extremely close proximity to each other. They’re very different tests, and it doesn’t make sense to kill yourself and prepare for both. In my experience, it’s diminishing returns for double the effort and stress. Schools don’t need both scores after all.</p>
<p>If he’s not happy with his scores this go round, compare the two tests. Whichever is his higher score is the one he should re-take in the fall. He’s got the summer to prepare, and he’ll get so much more benefit from his prep when he’s focusing on only one test! The idea is to be an SAT (or ACT) expert after all. Tell him to cut himself some slack, too. He’s got enough on his plate without adding extra work. Good luck!</p>
<p>I’d just like to offer a thumbs up for your reasonable and even relaxed attitude! He needs to see that. Too many disheartening CC tales involve parental expectations. Whether he shows it or not, he will feel comforted and more confident by your open, supportive attitude. It will go a long way during this long process! I</p>
<p>I did observe in my two very different kids that the one who obsessed over grades, tests, etc. drew their own definition of comfort from that activity because it was the part of the process they could control. They didn’t stomach at all the infinitely uncontrollable “how will they judge me,” or even the somewhat abstract selection of colleges to first apply to and then decide among. YMMV</p>
<p>My two cents… Hang in there!</p>
<p>Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk</p>
<p>^ Thanks for the kind words and advice, every little bit helps!</p>