<p>It’s that time of year again, basketball playoffs and caravans of families and kids are on their way to watch the games.</p>
<p>D was back visiting the area where she used to attend school and was invited to go to the big game, an hour away…Dad gave her the choice, but said he was worried about her driving with other young teenage girls…she decided not to go. Imagine our horror to hear a few hours later or a crash involving two cars from the caravan (not the cars she would have been in, but part of the big gang, involved are kids she knows somewhat, though not well) </p>
<p>Two girls are dead, several kids and an adult are in the hospital…one car hit another from behind (excessive speed), then crossed the median and hit a 3rd car head on. </p>
<p>A really scary aspect is this:</p>
<p>"were thrown from the ‘first car’, even though the State Patrol believes the girls were all wearing seatbelts.
Highway Patrol said a car crashing and spinning at high speeds could cause people to be thrown out the back or side windows, even with seatbelts. It was not released how or when during the crash the girls were ejected from the car, but one was found in the median and the other was found along the right shoulder of the southbound lanes near the ‘first car’.</p>
<p>The car causing the accident was headed north!</p>
<p>It was sooo scary to realise the phone call could have been about her being part of the accident…and so sad and shocking for the families involved. It is a small school in a small town, so every one knows every one and all are reeling</p>
<p>I am so sorry to hear this. These split second mistakes made by young drivers can change a family and a community forever.</p>
<p>My son who has had his license for about 3 months had an accident last week. Fortunately no one was hurt. He didn’t see the stop sign (which my h agrees was somewhat hidden behind a tree) but he was entering an intersection with a more major road. A more experienced driver would have known to stop/slow upon entering. It is so hard because letting your kids drive helps them gain experience, but it comes with quite a bit of risk.</p>
<p>somemom…your husband’s “cautionary decision” turned out to be prescient and what a nightmare for the other families…these issues are on the mind of all our S and D drivers whose beautiful brains are really not fully developed and who are talking on cell phones and enjoying yacking in cars with friends. My spouse’s office colleague’s D is in a coma that has lasted six months already from inattentive and inexperienced driving, while my S, who complained we are too strict sometimes, is living the good life at college. Our college freshman does not have a car, and we are also debating when we might help with that and how it is a blessing in disguise in many ways although he is “running around in cars with boys” that don’t belong to him anyhow. Yet, when do we provide him with the skill set practice to drive a few hours of highway home? A necessary skill set to have…like most other boys and girls have his age in freshman year in college. These are inevitably complex decisions with no clear way to go. Sometimes you just have to make instinctive choices. Glad your husband’s instincts were in full gear this time.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear that. My condolences to your D and her friends.</p>
<p>Now for the lecture. Why do parents let their kids get their licenses once they’ve been driving for the requisite time period and completed driver’s ed? Why let them be licensed when they are “C” drivers - okay so long as nothing bad happens - and not “A” drivers, who can avoid accidents? </p>
<p>I had my learner’s permit for almost a year before I got my license - wanted to be sure that I knew exactly what I was doing before I got on the road. (Some of it was also the learning curve for driving a stick.) I’ve had a few very minor accidents - love taps in the parking lot - but nothing that even approaches something to call the insurance company about. I know there’s times when I’ve avoided accidents - once called my dad after a near-miss to thank him for teaching me how to drive well (someone going perpendicular to me ran a red light, going about 40 in a huge van - I would have been squished, but always look both ways before going through a green). Yet I’ve seen so many people who get their licenses as soon as they can - the parents aren’t going to insist that they be excellent drivers before that time. Just my two cents.</p>
<p>Somemom, I’m so sorry to hear about the accident, but I’m happy that your D is okay.</p>
<p>We have taken a very conservative approach to driving with our two sons. They were allowed to take Driver’s Ed as sophomores, but S1 didn’t get his permit until the following summer (when he turned 16.) S2 will probably get his during the school year, since he’s already 16, but we’ve told him he can’t get his license until summer before senior year, just like his brother. This is partly because we should get a better insurance rate with S1 at that time, but mostly because I believe what I’ve read about brain development. Judgement and planning don’t really mature until the early to mid twenties. Given the statistics (something like 50% of 16 year olds have an accident) we don’t feel that it would be responsible to set them free with a 2 ton vehicle. We want them to drive A LOT with us in the car, first. S1 is not allowed to have a car at school, but I do worry about the lack of practice in the meantime. We’ve really not made sure that he’s had much freeway driving, so that concerns me. Especially since I grew up in So. Cal and first learned to drive on freeways. It gets harder to supervise his driving as S1 gets older. Maybe we’ll have to take him on a road trip – with him as a driver!</p>
<p>Your point is well-taken, aries, but I think in this accident the girls were not at fault, if I read the post correctly. What many parents of good drivers worry about is their kid being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In any case, this is such a trajedy and a nightmare for all involved. It’s so, so sad.</p>
<p>Roadtrips are great experience, sjmom! S and H took a trip to the Grand Canyon while learning, as well as a trip to Joshua Tree. Both kids had more than the required time period, and DD didn’t even get her permit until she was 17 as she didn’t feel ready. (her choice) I think you’re wise to be so careful.</p>
<p>OMG, cold chills went through me when I read that. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of life and the injuries to the others. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with those families, and I am thankful that your daughter was not involved.</p>
<p>A few years ago, shortly after my wife and I decided to start a family, I caught a glimpse of a pickup truck running a redlight as we were passing through an intersection. I managed to steer the car just enough to keep the passenger door (where my wife was sitting) from being “T-boned”. but we were hit more or less head-on. We were both bruised, but basically intact. My wife has always credited me with saving her life that night.</p>
<p>I’ve always wondered if my oldest son owes his life, paradoxically, to the negligence of the other driver, as our minor injuries led us to take a month-long hiatus in the activites that led to his birth ten months later. (OK, nine months later, but he was born a month before his due date.)</p>
You missed my point, which was rather simple: kids need to learn to avoid accidents, not just learn to not cause them. Whether or not it was the girl’s “fault,” an experienced driver could often avoid a bad situation. Parents often only go so far as to have the children not be “at fault,” but don’t teach them to not be hurt by someone else’s stupidity. Zeus often said that he doesn’t worry about his own driving, but worries about what the other idiot is going to do - and drives accordingly. That whole defensive driving thing. Who cares about “fault” when the car is a wreck and people get hurt?</p>
<p>Actually, the accident WAS the girls fault, they came up, at “extreme speed” behind a carload of boys driving more slowly from the same school (caravan remember) both cars were in the right lane, the boys pulled left to avoid the girls behind them and the girls also pulled left to go around, hitting the boys car, then crossing the big grassy median and hitting a south bound car head on. This was on I-5, in a small town area.</p>
<p>The three scary things are that the girls could possibly be ejected WITH seatbelts on; that upon first phone call it felt very “final destination” with a, “wait, was she supposed to be in that car?” time of clarification and then the realisation that I am in a different place and there was nothing I could have done but listened if the phone call had been about her…I felt very helpless and pleased with her choice not to go to the game!</p>
<p>H is very intense about driving, I think ours are the only kids who have not driven before they got their permit, kids must have the permit for a minimum of one year before getting their license, and one D was made to have it a second year as she just had not driven enough the first year, so the kids have seen that driving is a privilege not a right in our family and they take car things very seriously, and are cautious who they drive with.</p>
<p>We knew kids, though, who were driving around their private community at 14, who even drove several miles away in their small town- crazy!! I am also stunned by how many of my kid’s friends have had accidents, totalled the car, or racked up tickets in their first year. I love the rules many states have with a 6-12 months delay before the new driver can take passengers under 25, anything which allows the new driver to not lose focus is a help.</p>
<p>I don’t know what the NY state law is now, but when I was in high school the driving age was 18. No one drove in high school. If you were lucky, you got to take driver’s ed in spring of your junior year when you were 17. I was a year ahead of my class, and didn’t take driver’s ed until spring of my senior year. I took the road test before I went to college and my mother called me at school to tell me I had passed.</p>