<p>Tallson produced this one last night, referring to one of his best friends: “Steve is unnecessarily eloquent.” </p>
<p>Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle.</p>
<p>I have a good one. My son was going on and on about the revealing outfits worn by some girls at a graduation party. “Underwear is supposed to be worn on the inside, not the outside,” he said.
“What about Superman?” I replied. “He wears his underwear on the outside.”
“That’s not underwear!” He protested, “Those…those are combat briefs!”</p>
<p>My sister talking about me (I’m about 10, she’s about 12):
“Corranged always exaggerates about everything!”</p>
<p>D2 is 16 and at that very self-centered stage. She also sometimes speaks before she thinks. D1 is graduating tonight, and D2 announced (rather than requested) that her BF would accompany us. It would be no problem, except that there are 7 tickets alloted to each graduate, and with family alone we have a need for 9 tickets. D1 was able to find 2 from others. At this late date, another ticket is nearly impossible. As I explained the ticket situation, she she blurted out “well D1’s BF gets to go, I don’t see why mine can’t go.” D1’s BF is in the graduating class as well…</p>
<p>lol at the “combat briefs” comment.</p>
<p>Washdad’s comment reminds me - Of my boys, my older was more verbal, second was more physical. Around the dinner table once, when sons were 7, and 5, we had been bragging on the younger one’s recent sport activity, and the older one wanted to know what HE was good at. “Well,” I said, “you’ve always the verbally loquacious one.” He nodded, but admitted, “I can just barely decipher that.”</p>
<p>When my son was in middle school (6th grade), he was getting dressed for his first dance. Dress shoes, nice slacks, button shirt, tie, etc. He looked at me frowning, and said, “Girls have it so lucky, all they have to do is put on a dress and go.” I was laughing so hard, and I told him I would remind him of that statement when he was older. I did, and he laughed at himself.</p>
<p>Love the combat briefs.</p>
<p>Once H and I came home from some last-minute work event, for which we’d had to secure a substitute baby-sitter, and were greeted with the news that our kids (the older two, about 4 and 7 at the time) had said really awful things to each other, and she was sorry to tell us but she thought we’d want to know.</p>
<p>Hearts sinking, we asked her to go ahead and give us the bad news. </p>
<p>Turned out it was just their usual: D calling S “replicator” and S calling D “instigator.” They felt “copycat” and “you started it” were boring. </p>
<p>Nobody thought to warn the poor baby-sitter how weird the Welsch kids were. :)</p>
<p>My children are not nearly so eloquent, but they’ve had their moments.</p>
<p>When I was on bed-rest while pregnant with my D, my S was 2 1/2. My mother-in-law was watching him, and he did NOT want to go upstairs for bathtime. Finally she gave up trying to persuade hm, and reached down to pick him up. He yelled at her, “Don’t touch me! I’m VERY dangerous!” And all this time I thought he knew that dangerous meant that something could hurt him - apparently it just meant it is not to be touched!</p>
<p>When D and S were 4 and 7, they were arguing in the car.
S: Is too.
D: Is not.
S: Is too!
D: Is not, you Foopus!
We never learned what a foopus is, but to this day that’s what our family calls people who are stupid or annoying. Perhaps it should have been my CC screen name…</p>
<p>
Hilarious!</p>
<p>Here’s my favorite –</p>
<p>When my son was about 3 he asked me, “Mom, how do people without children know when it’s time to wake up?”</p>
<p>A little telling about what our life was like at the time! And it’s hard to believe this is the same 19-year old who doesn’t get going now until about noon.</p>
<p>Re: replicator and instigator. It’s not a kid story, but it IS a kid sister story, so maybe it will be OK.</p>
<p>My sister is seven years younger than me. When she was 10 or 11, the girl who lived down the block went from being my sister’s best friend to being her worst “enemy.” (My sister is still somewhat bewildered by this change 30 years later.) This other girl used to harass my sister verbally. One day I suggested that MySister call her a “prestidigitator” and then refuse to define the term. Apparently, this ex-friend broke into tears and told a teacher about the terrible thing MySister had called her. It was one of my finest moments, and I wasn’t even there.</p>
<p>WashDad = heroic big brother. :)</p>
<p>My brother got in trouble in fifth grade for suggesting that the other kids tell the teacher they really liked masticating.</p>
<p>With her tiny frame, pre-Kindergarten D had trouble keeping up with a class field trip to a pumpkin farm. D told teacher: “I should have brought my stroller.”</p>
<p>Possibly cute only to her mother:</p>
<p>When my D was about three, we were talking about letters. I’m really not a flash card type, but she’d gotten into them from Sesame Street, I guess. A teacher friend told me I should teach her the proper terms–upper case and lower case–as opposed to big and little.</p>
<p>That night, I asked her when saying good night if she wanted the door all the way closed. She said no, she only wanted it to be “lower case dark.”</p>
<p>^^Garland, I think it’s cute and very smart, and we’re not even related.</p>
<p>I was listening to a family at a nearby table today (having ice cream out, oh yes…). The entire conversation consisted of the family telling the girl her hair was pretty. I thought, “Will anyone notice what this little girl says or just how she looks?”</p>
<p>^I’d have felt the exact same way!</p>
<p>My D2 is a very poetic soul. Here’s two from when she was three:</p>
<p>I complimented her on her cute pants ( I had complimented her on her brains earlier in the day). She said that when they grew up I could have them.</p>
<p>One day we were out for a walk and she suddenly wanted to find the sun in the sky. She finally found it and said, “there it is, all tangled up in that tree.” </p>
<p>She’s 15 now and writes some pretty angst-ridden sophomoric stuff, but always engaging…</p>
<p>My son (17) said to me this evening as I was browing ebay- “be careful money doesn’t grow on trees” (something we hear often from father) and then when son noticed my bewildered look he said “oh, but I love that you think it does”. And here I thought I wasn’t appreciated!</p>
<p>This is a great thread.
My favorite birthday party invitation for a two year old included this disclaimer:
“the cake will be chocolate, please dress accordingly”</p>
<p>Another vote for the great imagery of ‘combat pants’.</p>