Many times I have replied, in depth, to kids who have created threads on CC, asking for advice regarding some subject in my wheelhouse. I’ve thought “Great! Here is my chance to pay it forward! I have a lot of expertise in this area, and I can help this kid!” And then… crickets. No reply. No “likes.” No push back. No response, whatsoever.
Granted, not all kids on CC are like this. Perhaps 3/4 do indeed check back and express gratitude, or at least react (a negative reaction is better than nothing) to the posts that they get to their own CC thread.
I really do wonder “were these kids raised in a barn?” I certainly didn’t bring up own that way. People take the time to help you, and you don’t react in any way? It makes me feel so old.
It’s the internet…there isn’t the same expectation of a timely response as there would be in person.
Depending on the topic of the post, it may be that they were venting to get things off their chest and then felt better after with no need for advice. Or one of the responses was judgmental and that soured the site for them. Or they just don’t place the same importance on the interaction as the answerers do.
That’s too funny I was just thinking the same thing @whatisyourquest
It’s nice when students go back to their post to give us an update especially those threads where they sound very depressed and you try to give them sound advice and encouragement. You wonder if they are doing ok
@tremai12@bodangles Thanks for your input… Very competitive people. And the anonymity of the internet. Those both make sense. But neither justifies completely ignoring the “gift.” It doesn’t take much. Hit the “like” button, or respond with a few words. After all, these kids did make the effort to create a thread. That took some time, too. I think that there is something deeper going on.
I’ve been scolded for being one of those kids that doesn’t reply fast enough. As someone who has been on the other side of these interactions, you don’t always know what’s going on with the other person. For me, I was working 60-hour weeks and Monday through Sunday. By the time I was able to check my replies, I’d already been scolded for taking too long, which doesn’t really make you want to show gratitude. So there’s just some perspective from the other side of things.
@ski_racer I appreciate that kids in your position often have many other important issues/engagements. It’s just that one wonders if the creator of the CC thread checks text messages and Facebook, despite being pressed for time. If so, then you gotta ask why CC ends up on the bottom of the social media totem pole.
I guess the message should be: don’t create a CC thread, if you don’t have time to check in and respond. Btw, we can see when a CC user is active. You just click on the user name and it pops up. If the user comes back on CC and reads, but doesn’t respond, to posts to their own thread, it certainly doesn’t look good.
I’m surprised people care about likes and helpfuls. I’ve never paid any attention to those and have probably clicked on them about 4 times since I joined CC a few years ago. But I don’t participate in any social media so I guess I’m not up on what is expected behavior.
I do agree that if you start a thread asking for advice, you should respond to those who post.
“Like” and “helpful” are the bare minimum. Click of a button, that’s all. At least it shows that you have seen the posts. More meaningful engagement should be expected in a thread that one creates.
I’ve always thought there should be a way for an OP to close a thread as answered. That way people would know when the OP is no longer looking for advice. I get that sometimes kids like @ski_racer get busy. However, if it’s not important enough to the OP to make time to check their own thread at least once every day or two, then why would you expect the adults to take the time to respond? Some of the adults also work 60 hour weeks and have lives.
^ And many kids actually do participate on their own CC threads. It’s just a weird social phenomenon that a significant percentage of them do not. I am poking at why those kids think that it’s ok to blow off people that respond. It’s really rude, according to the way I was raised.
I critiqued an essay for a girl once, she actually wrote me a pm when she got admitted to her dream school month later. I was so happy for her. I agree, it is a little rude not to reply to a lengthy comment.
When they received the answers, which they may or may not like, they may just move forward as many are busy filling applications and at school. I have no expectation for their response except when a follow up question to the OP was asked. On the other hands, there are many students responding to threads from years ago and expecting a reply.
There are plenty of users who apparently never log in again to check the response. (You can tell because a profile will indicate when a user was last active.) I think a lot of the “hit and runners” are simply venting and don’t really care what strangers say.
I do find the most annoying ones to be those who post thread after thread and don’t bother to respond, or if they do respond, it’s to ask another question. There are a number of those types, and when I realize that never say thanks, or at least click like or helpful, then I don’t bother anymore.
Most users are pretty good about respinding with at least a thumbs up. That’s ok.
I have had several out-of-the-blue messages over the years from people thanking me for advice I had long forgotten about. That’s wonderful. The best was a student who messaged to tell me that it was directly due to my advice that he had decided to apply to the Ivy League school he is now a freshman at. He said his family and high school counselor had told him not to bother. I had no recollection of the person, and I did a search for his name in my responses to see what it was I had said to him. It’s kids like that who keep me coming back to CC:-)
“you don’t always know what’s going on with the other person”
I think that this sums it up quite well. I agree that it is polite for the original poster to respond. It is reassuring when we get a response from OP, particularly if the response shows that they have gained perspective and are going to do the right thing. However, there are lots of reasons for the OPs to not respond. In some cases it might be as simple as they got busy, or as simple as they don’t want to hear from reality.
When giving anonymous advice for free, we can’t expect a 100% success rate.
@Lindagaf I agree that some are great. And it is very rewarding to help those kids. The problem is that it’s hard to anticipate where a kid that is new to CC will fall on the spectrum (spanning fully engaged to completely absent).
I don’t expect responses to comments that are short. But, sometimes, I’ll write a detailed post containing tons of pertinent (and free!) information. And then… nada.
Two instances spring to mind. In the first, I wrote a thorough explanation of the process for getting papers published in a journal. (I’ve published quite a lot.) And second, just a couple of days ago, I gave an account of science competitions and their value in admissions to highly-selective, STEM-focused universities. (I have personal experience in that area as well, because of my son.) In both cases, the kids that created the threads didn’t respond at all.