Hello, so as everyone may know, admissions letters were just sent out from most universities. I am kinda sad to say but I didn’t get accepted to my dream university. But I got waitlisted to another fairly prestigious college. But the problem is that after I got rejected from my dream college, I really lost all motivation and my grades are suffering, I got my very first D last quarter. My IB directer as well as my counselor said that if I don’t keep my grades up, universities will withdraw their offer. But I just can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything. Is there some magic solution that will help me. I got a bunch of AP and IB test in May and I can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything.
If you can’t shake it off, maybe antidepressants.
Well, before you take the steps of antidepressants, perhaps talk to a therapist to get your feelings out and find some strategies for moving forward.
And exercise and time outside! Get those endorphins going.
Volunteer somewhere that helps those less fortunate. It’ll put things into perspective.
So, tell us what schools you have as options? I’m sure folks here can point out things that will make you excited about the options you DO have?
Get to work so you don’t limit your future!
I won’t write a super lengthy response, because it’s all been said before, but…
You will get over this, because you have to. This won’t be the first disappointment in your life. This episode will make you stronger.
You are a better person than letting your self-worth be determined by an anonymous admissions officer at a selelctive college.
It’s likely that thousands of others who were even more qualified than you were also denied.
In a year’s time, you will be happy at your chosen college, and this time now will seem like a bad memory.
Everything happens for a reason, and you will discover that reason when you let go of this dream. This particular dream is over, it didn’t come true, so it’s time to wake up.
Make the most of each opportunity that comes your way. It’s up to you to control your destiny. You can’t let your destiny be controlled by an undesirable outcome.
Finally, to any other students reading, especially non-seniors, please let go of the idea of a single dream school. Instead, find several schools you can be happy at, that fit who you are and what you want to study.
ETA: I hope you can get your grades up, but whatever you do, please do your best not to get Ds. You really don’t want to be rescinded. Maybe you could consider deferring, or taking a gap year.
If you read other threads on CC, there are two themes that keep recurring. Both are very true and very important:
- There is no need to go to a "big name" university in order to be successful. There is no need to go to a "big name" university in order to be happy.
- The "big name" and "dream" universities are incredibly difficult to get into, and very highly unpredictable and apparently random in terms of who they accept. A very large number of very strong students get turned down by the "big name" universities (in many cases with unweighted GPA at or near 4.0, and with weighted GPA well over 4.0).
I think that you should post here which university was your “dream”, and which one you got waitlisted to, and also which universities you got accepted to. It is highly likely that you got accepted to very good universities. If not then there are still many choices going forward.
However, your choices going forward will depend upon your completing your high school senior year with decent grades.
I agree with the advice to get some time outside (particularly when the sun is out), and to consider talking to a therapist.
You also need to get some perspective: Think about what you want to do for the rest of your life (and not just the next four years). Don’t mess this up over the next five or six weeks.
Thank you for the kind responses, I guess I should explain a bit more. I am raised by a single parent who went to an Ivy League (Brown), I have a older brother who currently attends Brown and I guess my father expected that I would too. I feel a bit like a disappointment, after he spent thousands of dollars getting me a tutors and paying for various test and it really doesn’t help that I have always imagine myself at Brown and I really got my hopes up, after attending campus tours. As for my current options I got waitlisted by Rice, but accepted to Washington University St. Louis, Boston College, and NYU. Its not only the college rejection though, I just feel so done with school since I am so close to graduation.
I gave a talk at a small seminar class once at Washington University in St Louis. The late afternoon and evening afterward the professor gave me a tour of the campus and of St Louis. I liked it a lot – both the campus and the city. I have heard that it is a great university. NYU of course also is a great university, as is Boston College (even if they did beat my alma mater in the first football game that I attended after moving back to the east coast – at the time they had a guy named “Flutie” who seemed to help them out a bit).
You have great choices here. By sometime in August or September you are going to be very much absorbed into the campus life of whichever of these very good universities you choose to attend. I am confident that your parents are very proud of you and will be very glad to see you go to any of these three excellent schools.
WashU looks like a frickin’ country club. And the food is suppose to be one of the best among colleges. Have you visited?
You have good options. Pick one and go enjoy your next four years. Qualitatively, Brown isn’t better than WUSTL - you’ll get a good education there or a BC or at NYU. If you’re still interested in Rice accept the waitlist spot but plan on depositing somewhere by May 1.
Wow, you got into WUSTL??? Wow. Be proud. I know you are upset, but you got into WUSTL. I mean this in a nice way, but I will come and shake you by the shoulders myself if you don’t snap out of it. 
That’s an amazing school! Please please please do not allow this to continue. See a therapist because with your amazing choices, you have to pull yourself together. Feel done with school in June. Two months. Just do it!
Be happy. You got accepted to amazing schools TRUELY. Go to one of those and be your own person, not the person in the Brown shadow of your parent and sibling. You will get just as good of an education at BC or WUSTL or NYu. Choose based on fit.
But you need to rally in school now, you cannot get Ds. Enjoy time with your friends but study for those tests and go to class.
Given this list of amazing schools, you must have some wonderful achievements. This may even be the first time you haven’t attained a major goal, combined with the perception that you have let down your father, so it’s completely normal to feel disappointment. Give yourself a chance to be sad but if you aren’t past it by now you really must reach out to a counselor. They can guide you through some coping strategies that are essential to becoming resilient. You’ve had a little time to process the disappointment but it is time to turn it around and realize the great opportunities available to you at schools most can only dream of.
Sounds like you might be a little burned out by the whole process, and who can blame you!! But don’t let this one thing sabotage a wonderful future.
It is time to take a deep breath and regroup. I’ll say a few things…
—You are in a position to attend some of the finest 4 year colleges in the country. I understand they may not have been your initial top choice, but come on – WashU, BC etc. are fantastic schools. Take a second and think about how many people in the US and abroad would give almost anything to be in your shoes.
–You will have a different college experience as compared to your brother. That is not a bad thing.
—To get into those schools you must have had outstanding accomplishments in HS. Be proud of yourself.
—Why on earth would you let an admissions officer in Providence RI who you have never met throw your life off course? Brown has under a 10% admission rate. Many extremely worthy candidates get turned away as there simply isn’t enough room.
–This is a somewhat harsh lesson in moving on from disappointments that will serve you well as you go through life.
–If you don’t pick up your grades you are risking everything that you have worked for throughout your HS years. You are risking acceptances to some amazing colleges. Time to dust your disappointment off, get your head straight, and move forward in a positive and proud manner.
–If you can’t shake the doldrums yourself, I’d suggest you see a therapist ASAP.
Wash U in particular is an excellent school – many people will say that, apart from the selectivity of acceptances at Brown, academically/educationally, it really is not a different level than Wash U. With acceptance rates what they are, admission to Brown is a lottery – can’t predict the rhyme or reason of it. You have much to be proud of, with admission to Wash U and your other schools. As others have said, its okay to grieve for the end of one dream, but then time to move on and work towards the next stage. Spend some time researching programs and opportunities at each of your admitted schools, and start envisioning yourself there, try each on for size, mentally, and see how it feels. If you can get back to campus to visit, so much the better. Join the Facebook groups for each school, for your admitted student class and start to learn about your potential classmates. I think you will be impressed by the caliber of student (though be prepared for some bragging about alcohol and drugs, as my kids found that some high school students thought that bragging about how wasted they had gotten showed other students how cool they were. Once they got on campus, they realized how silly that looked).
As an IB student, you have worked hard all these years, now show IB, your teachers, and yourself, what you are capable of when you sit down to take those exams. Make yourself proud by showing your best. Your hard work and achievements in high school have prepared you to excel at whatever school you choose – all that hard work has made you better prepared, a better thinker, a better writer, and all of that will help you in college. Take a look at AP/IB credits awarded by your schools, and see what kind of general education requirements you can knock off with good scores, or what intro classes you can place out of.
And as others have said, get out and get some exercise, clear your head. Spring of senior year can feel like the end of a long slog, hang in there. Again, in the crazy, unpredictable system of US college admissions, you have done very very well. Focus on the glass half full, and look ahead to celebrating graduation with your family.
@Loser160 Wow, you have some great options, please attend the admitted students days at them! This might help you get excited again!
I think it’s normal for seniors to feel “done” but it’s important to keep going If you are feeling really down all the time, however, you should talk to a therapist, just in case there is more going on - chemically…
If you were my kid, I’d strongly advise looking in to deferring for a year and working for a living during that year to gain some perspective.
^^^ I completely agree. If you’re “done with school” then why are you going to college? And you are bummed after those acceptances? You really might need to take a look at the bigger picture, the whole point of education, and how other people fit into your world. I do wish you the best.
20 years from now there is a very good chance you will look back and think “wow, what if I HADN’T gone to XYZ University?!?!”
You have 3 excellent options. Decouple this outcome from your parent’s experiences. That’s probably what is stealing your joy. Maybe the universe wants you to do something else for YOU.
You need a break kiddo. It is easy to burn out. Do you have a school break coming up?
I’m sorry your heart got broken. But don’t let it stop you from going forward!
Read the threads on CC of the students that are waitlisted and eager to get in to all of the schools where you have been accepted. You have many excellent choices. Make a list of all the pros and cons of each school and resolve to love the schools that love you back. Visit them if you can. Those colleges can be your dream schools too. It is natural to have senioritis at this time of year and wish to be done with school. Resolve to finish strong so the colleges don’t rescind your acceptances.