<p>A 20 year old</p>
<p>As a parent who has lost a child, I can tell you that there is no way to make sense of any young person dying. Every situation I know of where a young person has died is awful - and there is no way to reconcile it with common sense. I am sorry for the loss that you feel and especially for the parents of this young person.</p>
<p>mom111: I missed your original post, before your editing. Can you fill us in a little?</p>
<p>^
I’d also appreciate it.</p>
<p>Sorry…meant to edit and instead accidentally cut most of the post last night last night. Story of a college boy who died last weekend in a sad accident. How my heart breaks for the parents. How impossible it is to make any sense of it. How in this year of stressing over college apps and decisions and all the rest of it, it reminded me of how incredibly lucky we are to be able to kiss our sons and daughters goodnight.</p>
<p>Even when you can’t kiss them goodnight, it is a blessing to be able to be in close touch via cell phone, internet, etc. Although my son is away at college, it is almost as if he is home because he calls/texts/emails frequently to ask/chat/comment about whatever is on his mind.</p>
<p>While I know tragic things happen at any time, the ones that stick in my head are the ones that happen around graduation time. This is a good reminder to talk to our kids about being cautious while driving…and to kiss them goodnight!</p>
<p>yes, RMGs mom, you’re right. i guess i meant kissing them goodnight as shorthand for being in their lives and having them in ours, in whatever way.
and lilmom, i agree. not only is this a good reminder to not sweat the small stuff (and i say this as one who has), but also to talk to our kids about being safe.</p>
<p>This subject has been heavy on our minds recently. One of my son’s grade school friends drowned in a canoeing accident about 2 weeks ago. They finally found the body this last week.</p>
<p>The parents are absolutely distraught. I can’t imagine their pain.</p>
<p>Sadly, the accident had some “bad behavior” associated with it - drinking and ignoring a bad weather warning and having no life jackets on the canoe. So, the parents are not only dealing with the grief but also the anger that their child made such a bad choice. That complicates their grieving process. They only hope that other young people will learn from their precious son’s mistake.</p>
<p>^^Many times in life we (or our kids, or in my case, a parent) do things, that you look back on and say, “boy, that was dumb” It is so horribly tragic when the outcome is final - and the “dumb” thing is so…permanent. Very had to make sense of it.</p>
<p>In mid-July 2008, a month after graduating from h.s., S2 lost two of his best friends in a car accident. They were driving too fast on a curvy road. They missed a turn and flipped the SUV. Both were thrown from the car. Neither was wearing a seat belt. One died at the scene, the other was airlifted to the hospital where he died 10 days later having never regained consciousness. </p>
<p>S2 was the only witness to the wreck. He called 911 and waited for help to arrive.
He had been following them home from the mall.
He was supposed to be in the car too but had been late meeting them so drove himself.</p>
<p>I can’t even think of a word to describe how horrible it was. </p>
<p>That S2 is alive in this world is almost miraculous. Being late ten minutes changed everything. I tell him I love him so often now. It’s like there needs to be a stronger word but since there’s not, I go for repetition.</p>
<p>PackMom, your story sent shivers down my spine. I don’t know what to say, except that I am so glad for you that you’re able to tell your son (repeatedly) how much you love him.</p>
<p>Wow! I hope your S2 got any counseling he may have needed, PackMom. What a lot of trauma he must have experienced and may well still be experiencing! It is so very tragic to watch an awful thing like your S2 saw and know that he nearly was among them. There can be survivor guilt (or is it called something else?) for the person who survives when others around don’t. I am so glad your S2 is still around for you to share with! We do have so much to be grateful for.</p>
<p>My kids are much further away than I’d like, but I am happy they are living their lives, and share details of it with me from time to time. I’m glad they are where they want to be for this time in their lives and hope that someday, when the time comes, they will come back and live near us and raise their families near us. For now, I’m just glad they’re alive and living their lives!</p>
<p>We do tell our kids often that we love them so much! I think they let each other know how much they love each other as well.</p>
<p>The 20 yr old D of one of my H’s cousins is currently in a coma with a traumatic head injury. She also had several badly broken bones, for which she eventually underwent surgery when her condition was judged stable enough to take the chance. Two orthopedic surgeons operated on her separate injuries simultaneously in order to minimize the time under anesthesia, but it was considered touch and go.</p>
<p>She was in an auto accident–car t-boned by truck, probably because she turned in front of it–and wasn’t wearing her seatbelt. If she had been wearing it, she probably would not have incurred these injuries, which were caused by her being thrown violently sideways in the car and impacting the frame. </p>
<p>Her mother always stressed buckling up. She now includes in every message about her D’s condition a reminder that kids need to understand that they are not immortal, and that seatbelts save lives.</p>
<p>PAO2008, I’m so sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Consolation, your story brought back so many memories. Two years ago my D’s best friend was hit by a bus while riding her bike on campus- no helmet, because she didn’t think they were cool. She was in a coma for months, then a minimally conscious state. She has really been a miracle story, in that she can walk and talk now. But her life will never be the same. </p>
<p>Hug your kids, and beg them to wear seatbelts, and bike helmets. And model those life saving behaviors for them too. How many of us don’t wear helmets? All the serious bikers do.</p>