We all them! I currently have a Know-It-All who is a close family member (not in my immediate household, praise be) and another who is (was??) a close friend.
My life has been somewhat stressed lately. I’m having trouble letting the I Know It Best, I Know It All, I Know YOU, behaviors roll off my back. Does anyone have strategies for getting around/over these personality types? Sadly, simple avoidance is not a possibility.
Just say:
“Gee, that’s a good idea.”
“Gosh, I’ll have to try that.”
“Gee, why didn’t I think of that.”
And then just move on, if you can.
“Oh, that’s interesting!”
“Hmmmm. Well thanks for your thoughts.” Door slams shut.
Some of these lines might be useful to use in political discussions, too.
How about talking to them about it? Not telling them “stop being a know it all” but pinpointing what it is that bothers you and how it makes you feel.
Is it a one-sided conversation where you don’t feel you get to speak? Do you feel they don’t value your opinion or respect your intelligence? Try telling them that.
Sounds like these are people in your life that either aren’t going away or that you value in other ways so I would think it would be worthwhile to have a heart to heart picking your words so they aren’t overly harsh.
Are these people narcissistic? If so they will not be able to see their behavior for what it is. A polite response and changing of the subject is about all you can do.
Does it bug you so much that you can’t hear them even if they are right? I mean, are we talking Hermione Granger (who was usually right), or someone who spews bad info?
Thanks for the responses! Lots of different perspectives. I think @KKmama is closest. The behavior from the friend is often rude, although unintentionally so (I hope). My attempts at conversation are frequently cut off so she can tell me that she knows better than me. There are topics I learned long ago to avoid with her. Recently the entire relationship has me walking on eggshells, so I may find it necessary to take a break. I find this sad as we have many interests in common and the friendship is one of long years standing.
With the relative, the relationship can’t “go away”. I have always deferred politely to this relative, trying to be respectful. Probably the wrong approach in retrospect. I like the “door slams shut” image, thanks @HRSMom, and the fact that both “spew bad info” from @intparent. Having my own private little labels to laugh it may help!
“You might be right” tends to leave 'em speechless.
“Recently the entire relationship has me walking on eggshells, so I may find it necessary to take a break. I find this sad as we have many interests in common and the friendship is one of long years standing.”
If that’s the case, I don’t see the harm in attempting to have a conversation about it if you haven’t done so. What do you have to lose? If you don’t address it, aren’t you a little bit a part of the problem? If I valued even something about a long standing friendship, I would be willing to try a conversation.
My husband sometimes claims he is married to a Know-it-all. My mom says her middle daughter is a Know-it-all.
Since I don’t know how they both came to that idea, I can’t possibly be a Know-it-all. But I’ll admit on those very rare occasions when I am wrong .
There is a difference between a Know-it-all who interrupts others, or a condescending Know-it-all, vs someone who helps when asked, or someone who can quickly analyze and take charge of a situation.
Over the years, I have heard a few clever comments that make me rethink how my lack of patience with stupidity has affected others I care about - like
“If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think that you don’t respect my perspective”
“I wish I was as smart as you!”
“It’s a good thing you were born smart and I was born beautiful - too bad neither of us were born rich”
I have one of those K-I-A type relatives. While I can’t really “avoid” her, I also don’t seek her out for much of anything, and when I do see her I try to keep the topic on mundane irrelevant matters. Pretty much any drift towards life-stressing topics can be met with a sigh, a sad shrug, deflection, and a quick change of topics.
Someone once gave me a mug with this inscription, though I can’t imagine why: 
“Those of you who think you know it all are particularly annoying to those of us who really do.”
As long as someone is genuinely trying to be helpful, I do my best to smile and nod.
@dietz199 “You might be right” tends to leave 'em speechless.
Agree! Know it Alls often just want to argue so they can hear themselves talk. Cutting them off at the pass not only saves you time, but deprives KIAs from their greatest pleasure. Double win.
@doschicos, your advice is quite reasonable. You are undoubtedly correct that I am part of the problem for not addressing inappropriate interactions early on. I allowed the other woman to dictate the terms of any conversation, but managed for over 15 years to have a friendship by “letting things go”. I am certain she wouldn’t even see an issue if I brought it up now.
@3puppies, my relative is a “condescending Know-It-All”. Thank you for that terminology. Having labels helps me remember this is about the other person, not me.
“Having labels helps me remember this is about the other person, not me.”
I think that’s the other half of the battle. It’s their issue and not a reflection on you, your abilities, opinions, or even how these people think about you. I try to remind myself when in situations with difficult people that I can control that is there issue not mine. Although it doesn’t make it go away, it does make it easier for me let it roll off my back and accept them for who they are by depersonalizing it.
“Bless your heart” works for me.
Smile and nod
This thread is perfect timing. Was harangued by a “thought they know it all but they clearly don’t” person today. Its exhausting. My “favorite” (not) is when they tell you what you think and/or how you feel. Or they tell you what you are saying is wrong, and they clearly don’t understand what you are saying but want to argue with you and tell you you are wrong anyway. ARGGH. Uncle!