Given that the OP’s username includes “tigermom” and the OP self describes as “type A”, it may not be surprising that her relationship with a kid who is not like that is under stress, with different definitions of “within reason”.
@austinmshauri I never said that 10 year olds should be working long hours in poor conditions. I just said that it is another broken system in our country. Who do you consider a child? A 17-year-old? So to you, a 17 year old has an underdeveloped brain and an 18 year old is a fully functioning adult. I really feel bad for you if you believe that…
Was my decision to rush through high school a good decision? Hell yes. I’m going to college now, how would it be a poor decision? I refuse to be locked in prison for 4 years. You may laugh at that, but in school, students are subjected to double the amount of restrictions that incarcerated felons are. So, school is really worse than prison. Students are also subjected to ten times the amount of restrictions than that of mainstream “adults”. I have a backbone, and i’m simply not going to sit through that.
The Age Discrimination act of 1975 prohibits any college that receives funding from the government to discriminate based off age. You may wish and rant online all you want to about how I shouldn’t be going to college younger than 18, but I am, and there’s nothing you can do about it. This thread was never about me, but for some reason you bring my personal life up. The fact that you bring someone’s personal life up which is completely irrelevant to this conversation is extremely immature of you.
I do apologize to the OP, now we can get back on-topic.
“I refuse to be locked in prison for 4 years. You may laugh at that, but in school, students are subjected to double the amount of restrictions that incarcerated felons are”
You are hilarious. Spend ONE day (just one) volunteering in a prison-- and you will realize what a ludicrous position you have taken on a very complex subject.
Good luck in college.
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Students in school are subject to double to amount of restrictions of incarcerated felons. That is a fact. Sorry, but I cannot change facts.
A good friend of mine made a youth rights video playlist and included this video from red pill philosophy, titled School=Prison
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSkFSphYX90&list=PLRzATJqxGGTyIAqZb43No-XyESDaccV28&index=14
@Homeschooler14 why are you in the Parents Forum??
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More rules or restrictions does not necessarily mean a more restricted life, since many are not what most people would disobey anyway.
Adults not in prison are subject to an enormous number of laws (see the U.S. Code and your state’s code). But most will not trade that for life in prison, where the rules may be fewer, but much more restrictive.
@ucbalumnus There are not fewer restrictions in prison. Laws that apply to non prisoners also apply to prisoners, plus more just for prisoners.
Students in school are more restricted than prisoners who are more restricted than mainstream adults.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Please stay on topic. This is an instruction not a suggestion.
OP, you’ve just described the majority of teenagers, especially guys. If by the beginning of his senior year you still feel he’s too immature for college, you could float the idea of a gap year. Lots of kids need extra time to grow into themselves, and one year won’t set him back much academically, but could really give him a boost psychologically. To put your mind at ease you could look into gap year options/ideas. But as others have said, your son seems to be doing fine academically. The sleeping and sloppiness is pure teenage behavior. I wouldn’t worry too much about it at this point. Honest, so many kids go through these phases and come out as functional and successful adults. Your son will likely as well.
He sounds quite immature. Its not normal to sleep all day and not check your email. That’s just laziness. I wouldn’t call the sleeping and sloppiness typical teenage behavior. Not only is it not normal, calling it that is an insult to millions of teenagers who do not do that type of behavior.
Seriously, read Dr. Epstein’s book. He goes in depth on how to correct this type of behavior.
https://www.amazon.com/Teen-2-0-Children-Families-Adolescence-ebook/dp/B0079M8OX2
Staying up late may be aligned with the hours his classmates work together; we do not dismiss nurses, doctors and police officers who work at night. D1 is an early riser and chose early classes. S1 does the opposite at the same institution. He is very successful and just fills a different part of his day, with ADD and a sequencing issue. He will not give up on an assignment, but stay up until it is completed instead of planning ahead.
Living at home on breaks is difficult even though I tried to make some simple rules such as no showers after 1 am. I know he is messier here than at school. He is definitely missing the perspective of the rest of his family members when we are all living together, living in his own world. Ugh!!!
I do not check on their whereabouts at school and have zero desire to do so. My children have experienced heartbreaking loss during their teen years and some days are difficult. My concern is their, health, emotional safety and helping them find their passions. That is a different approach for each one of my children, but not as a task master. My discussions with them are about encouraging them to take the next steps and getting over the small humps that can be frightening for anyone, writing emails to professors to ask about research, applying for jobs and grad school, writing interview thank you letters, writing a CV or resume. Everyone thrives when they are engaged and we each have ridiculous fears. Many of us have spouses or partners that support and encourage us. Until my children have another half, I’ll continue to be their champion when they are reluctant to talk with their peers. I truly believe that this is the best part of parenting, enjoying their successes, not as a helicopter parent or task master, but as a mentor who knows them well.
I’m going to disagree with you there. Many people with ADHD have a kind of “blindness” to their environment and don’t really see their stuff all over the place, until it is such a big mess that they don’t know where to start. It’s not pleasant, but it has nothing to do with self respect. I suspect that some of this factors in to current popularity of minimalism, so people have less stuff to fall into disorder.