<p>It seems as though I have been this way most of my life. nothing caused by maturity issue, family problem, traumatic experience, or chronic illness.
I just never had any ambitions or particular interest. as a result, i was never motivated to pursue something and focus on something. Rather, my interests were by spurts. for weeks I would spend hours on something then suddenly become apathetic to it.
Of course, I want to become successful in the future but more because I’m grateful for what my parents have done rather than what I want. I’d rather work a good job till forty to repay my parents and debts, then be done with my career and live off volunteering, or alone in the city, forests, or beach.</p>
<p>I’m quite mature and a bit of a loner (which I choose to be). The problem is that nothing bad happens to me that I am forced to change my way of apathy. everything always seems to turn out satisfactory even if I don’t try so hard. I can describe myself as a person who barely tries but does good on most things by luck or skill.</p>
<p>sorry for posting a pointless thread. but how can i change this? how to find some meaning in my life? gap year? military service?</p>
<p>“Meaning” in life is a pretty subjective notion. The Dalai Lama says the purpose of life is to be happy. Maybe spending time in the forest or alone in the city is where your happiness is. Maybe you’re a person who wants to just go which way the wind blows. There’s nothing wrong with that, although I can’t imagine hanging around on this website would be helpful with all the hard-core driven types.</p>
<p>I knew a guy who just didn’t have any particular direction at all, great guy though. Through a series of almost random events he found himself in Japan for awhile. Something clicked for him there and he came back to the states, went back to college, and in a few years had a Ph.D in some field of Asian language and culture and now he teaches there half the year and mostly travels the rest of the time. He’s very happy. I don’t think anyone would call him “directionless” but where is now is just an outgrowth of being exactly that at an earlier time in his life.</p>
<p>“live off volunteering, or alone in the city, forests, or beach.” </p>
<p>It seems that this is what you’re interested. Find hobbies/jobs that revolve around service. The military would work. Maybe try working at a Parks and Recreation department, nonprofit organization, police department, fire station, stuff like that (given you’ve done the work for each of those of course)?</p>
<p>May I ask you how driven your parents are in their individual careers?
Also, try to have a frank chat with your Dad and find out at what age he began to feel a drive to pursue higher goals.</p>
<p>ibtelling, what great advice. “Being alone in a forest or on a beach” also might describe an area of research science. Many people can’t stand being away from the city/people, but there is a need for scientists who WILL spend months at a time studying all kinds of things: rocks, trees, bugs, fish, temperature, and so on.</p>