<p>I posted a version of this on page 5,978 (or so) of the Tiger Mother thread, but I thought this alternate parenting plan might deserve its own thread:</p>
<p>I’m thinking of writing a book called “Lament of the Donkey Father,” touting the style of parenting where you schlep your kids and their (musical, sports, etc.) gear to innumerable events, provide the snacks, let the (study group, rock band, etc.) meet at your house, look up summer programs for them on the Internet, bring the book they forgot to school, and so on. You find out what their interests and passions are, and then you pay through the nose to give them lessons, activities, and trips to support those activities.</p>
<p>Love that idea! And my husband would agree. My daughter was on a team whose mascott was a dragon. My husband always said he was a dragon, draggin’ bags and chairs and tents and coolers and cameras, etc. Defintely a Donkey Father and wouldn’t have it any other way!</p>
<p>Agree about the chapter for Donkey Moms, I did my fair share of draggin’ also!</p>
<p>My kids could never do half the stuff they do without him. They’d probably still be playing pick up ball in the park if it had been left up to us Gazelle like mothers. Sorry, I always really wanted long legs.</p>
<p>Love the guy. :D</p>
<p>(Is this where we get into criticizing the merits of this particular style of parenting? )</p>
<p>(raises hand, jumps up and down)<br>
We enthusiastically encouraged S2 to have sleepovers at our house. Eight to ten middle school boys at a time. Do you know how much FOOD that involves? They played Risk til the wee hours of the morning or had Monty Python marathons or built their own weaponry from cardboard, hangers, duct tape and other household objects. They also made interesting (non-alcoholic) drink concoctions. Suffice it to say I now always take a whiff of the apple juice before drinking it. ;)</p>
<p>We also had twelve guys stay over the night of S2’s Bar Mitzvah. This was after having the party at our (small) house.</p>
<p>I would take homework left in the printer to drop off at school (or email it) if asked. I did not deliver lunches. </p>
<p>You just haven’t lived til you’ve driven the entire defensive line “fresh” from practice to the pizza joint. My car never quite recovered. However, I <em>did</em> let S2 take a shower before starting his homework that evening. :D</p>
<p>Homage to the Donkey Fathers. I love their special non-swagger, that self-effacing thang they do after completing a taskette, namely: they don’t mention it. </p>
<p>And IF anyone ever thinks to toss them an appreciative biscuit, they just stuff both hands into the pockets of their relaxed jeans, grin softly and say, “Oh, it was nothing. My wife really does the lion’s share.”</p>
<p>Donkey Fathers are essential to successful children even if all they do is remind Tiger Mom at day’s end that it will all be fine, for which she says to her Tiger Pack, “he never really listens.”</p>
<p>My sister wrote the following this past week:</p>
<p>"I am coming out with a new book about parenting: The Way Of The Labrador Mother.</p>
<p>The following is a synopsis of my basic parenting rules:</p>
<ol>
<li>stay up late</li>
<li>wake up late</li>
<li>take several naps during the day</li>
<li>eat two meals per day, supplemented by several snacks</li>
<li>get praise for absoluely everything you do </li>
<li>get treats for being cute</li>
<li>make friends with everyone who comes to your house</li>
<li>roll in the dirt</li>
<li>sleep on the floor</li>
<li>sleep on the couch</li>
<li>sleep wherever you want</li>
<li>walk around the block and take another nap</li>
<li>get a treat for walking around the block</li>
<li>do whatever you want
15 shed"</li>
</ol>
<p>PS p3t - Too funny! I hope your own Donkey H is feeling well!!</p>
<ul>
<li><p>driving extra key to Bionic Pickup truck to HS because someone thought it would be funny to steal the lanyard key out of S’s pocket. Get a phone call when halfway to school, saying, “Susie just returned my key. You don’t need to bring the extra key, Donkey Mom!”</p></li>
<li><p>schlepping 6 soccer players to a game, thinking “If I’m in an accident, our team will have to forfeit since I have half the team in my van!” Stuck in a weekend traffic jam on I-95, soccer players are drinking IBC root beer, which happens to be in brown glass bottles. Donkey Mom says, “Please don’t lift the brown bottles up to the window! I could be pulled over & we will miss the game!” Soccer players are bored in traffic jam & begin to spray each other with Axe deodorant. Outside temperature is 200 degrees - van is NOT air conditioned.</p></li>
<li><p>schlepping 6 Boy Scouts & gear to a camporee, where it rains the entire weekend. Schlepping soggy, muddy Boy Scouts & gear back home. Imitating a TIDE commercial while washing muddy Boy Scout uniforms & camping gear.</p></li>
<li><p>the weekly COSTCO run: hauling 12 cases of soda, 8 cases of frozen hamburgers, 8 cases of hot dogs & 3 million buns, 10 dozen bagels and even more food to the high school concession stand for football/soccer/regional track meets. Unloading food & drink. Popping ibuprofen like M&Ms & sleeping on a heating pad after wrenching back while offloading cases of sodas.</p></li>
<li><p>hosting a sleepover for a “homework burning party” where the boys toss a classmate’s school photos into the fire pit. Burn hands trying to save the photos. Boys dance around the flames, poking sticks into the fire & chanting “Get Piggy! Get Piggy!” Oops, wait, that was a different book …</p></li>
</ul>
<p>This involves spending 3-7 hours on a Saturday, armed with an economy-sized box of disposable rubber gloves, sorting returnable bottles and cans at the town Recycling Center. Said bottles and cans will eventually be redeemed for $$ headed to support Donkey Kids’ soccer/football/band/lacrosse/hockey activity.</p>
<p>Unexpected learning experience: many people in your town do not rinse out their bottles and cans before recycling them. You can obtain a contact high from the fumes, trust me.</p>
<p>Guilty secret of Donkey Mom: HS graduation quietly celebrated not so much as a Life Milestone for Donkey Kid as for the end of Bottle Shed duty.</p>
<p>Can you join the club if you have served as the substitute nanny/camp assistant/class assistant for their various part-time jobs while they go to an audition/rehearsal/show?</p>
<p>Donkey Dad has a trusty sidekick to help him with those saddlebags: Packrat Mom. She spends half her life packing and unpacking bookbags, sports backpacks, coolers, and cars. Full lunch bag in, peanut butter smeared bag out. Clean water and Gatorade bottles in, sticky grass-covered ones out. Pressed uniform and neat sport accessories in, smelly crumpled ones out. Dry sports chairs in, rain-soaked ones out. Forgotten math worksheet in, crumpled notices out. Clean gym clothes in, rank ones out.</p>
<p>Poetgrl, the idea of “playing pick up ball in the park” really sounds pretty good, if you know what I mean…
Kind of sounds like what kids did back when WE were kids.</p>
<p>Awesome, awesome title both for the thread and the book. Please be sure to include the hernia and/or back injury that the donkey father/mother sustains when lifting the backpack left lying on the floor.</p>
<p>How about the mom who got to be kindergarten room mother since none of the others wanted the job, and solo little kid soccer coach for 3 years when volunteering to be an assistant, and that olympics of the mind type coach, for same reason. I hated doing it but stepped up to the plate when no one else would. And all of the other volunteering. I’m NOT a small child type of person (and teens don’t want to be with their parents I found- just when he was old enough for real discussions, sigh).</p>
<p>While I’m on a roll… I could write a book, but no one would read it. Those that can relate have their own stories, the kids don’t care… Mine doesn’t even remember how much his mother did, nor realize how I disliked it. </p>
<p>Hey- we could write volumes about the college drives alone. Any and all (local friends) asleep for the trip - they missed the traffic, weather, half of the round trip… They also miss seeing the mess they leave behind… don’t realize how many groceries they went through during winter break… Earth to child…</p>
)</p>
Proud member of the ranks.</p>