<p>Garland, I was pretty sure “sleeping” was code for “not sleeping” but it brought up such a powerful flashback that I had to respond. :)</p>
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<p>At our house the term was Mama Llama.</p>
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<p>While your make an excellent point, I think that Hunt has already solved this problem by creating a new and inclusive (although downtrodden and exhausted) demographic group that cuts across ethnic and even gender lines. As soon as I saw the title of the thread, I knew he had something that would catch the imagination of the American public. Donkiness is a state of mind, one either is or one isn’t a donkey father. (Feel free to put that on the jacket of the book.) I think it will sell. Furthermore, I think if our OP has trouble getting the book written, he can delegate chapters to CC posters. After all, isn’t there a book just begging to be written out of the collected wisdom of CC parents?</p>
<p>Yes, “The Lament of the Donkey Father and His Pack of Mules” An epic tale of life in the carpool lane.</p>
<p>mansfield—haha, we have long referred to my DH as the family sherpa. Especially when we go skiing and have all that equipment to lug around.</p>
<p>I’ve just been reading (Google) about The Donkey Sanctuary in England. That’s where they go to retire. There are ladies who knit for them. </p>
<p>Seriously.</p>
<p>Tiger Mother can’t function without Donkey Father.</p>
<p>Novice donkey mom to experienced donkey mom: “Well, it’s good that we found an apartment to stay in for the night of the soccer tournament so that all 15 girls on the team and us can sleep on the floor and share one bathroom, but how do we launder their uniforms?”
Experienced donkey mom: “Launder their uniforms? Are you KIDDING me? Just pretend you are CAMPING for God’s sake!”</p>
<p>Hunt - You da Man! (or Donkey as the case may be.) The Donkey mom and dad is indeed the dominant parental style on CC, and has been the theme of my wife’s and my lives for the past 22 years. It’s an incredible amount of work, but far more fun than the Tiger Mother’s approach, and in my opinion, yields better results (or as it might be subtitled, “Why Beast of Burden Parents are Superior”).</p>
<p>We put 110,000 miles on our new 2004 van in the first three years we owned it. I used to lament that fact, but then our kids began to go to college. Today, after the next three years, the van only has 170,000 miles. That should be a good thing, but I find that I’m noting that with a sigh. I miss all the schlepping.</p>
<p>Donkeymom here. Donkeydad commuted via train for most of the kid’s formative years, and he traveled. Being tied to the train schedule limited his flexibility, and he didn’t usually arrive home until 7pm. When he was home he was a get-down-on-the-floor-and-play-with-the-kids, give-them-a-bath-and-put-them-to-bed kind of Dad, so I couldn’t complain, but I always had to figure out carpools with the assumption that he would not be available to help. For 3 years, I was supposed to be 3 places at the same time on Tuesday nights: dropping S at Scouts, picking up D from dance, and (myself) walking in to church choir practice. WHY does EVERYTHING always get scheduled on TUESDAYS? (On the plus side, I got out of volunteering to teach a badge at Scouts because I wasn’t available on Tuesdays :p) </p>
<p>In the biggest irony of our married life, H switched to working from home permanently one month before DonkeySon graduated from high school. After all those years… :mad:</p>
<p>Someone really should assemble all these stories and put them together into a compilation book. Here’s 2 of my contributions:</p>
<p>DonkeyDad’s thumbnail was deep purple and black for 3 months after dropping D off at college, from a mishap involving trying to hammer a support rail for a lofted bed into place. He didn’t say a word to D when it happened; I noticed it the next day.</p>
<p>And to the poster with the “bottle shed” stories - when my brother was in Scouts, they collected newspapers for recycling once a month. They had a truck that sat in the church parking lot and people would drop off their papers, magazines, etc. Believe it or not, all the boys in the troop were eager to work at this fundraiser - because occasionally one guy would drop off a stack of Playboy magazines. My brother snuck a few of the magazines home, cut out the pictures, took them to Scout camp and was selling them to his fellow scouts for 50 cents each. When my dad found out he didn’t know whether to scold him for selling porn or praise him for his entrepreneurial idea!</p>
<p>Great thread! The list of the thankless parenting jobs goes on and on…</p>
<p>MY DH has done all the scout stuff, including a 2 week backpack trip, sleeping in tents with other loudly snoring dads, and his least favorite job, having to referee (ump?) at DS#1’s little league games. I had to work the concession stand- and equally thankless job. Then there were the multiple overnight events with large quantites of bodies and food that still haunt me (millenium new years party with a bunvh of 9 yr olds, the ever famous junior year post prom party, hosting an out of town co-=ed ultimate frisbee team as well as hosting 18 international camp counselors for about a week) etc etc. I guess we are pretty good parents around here…</p>
<p>While my kids were growing up I worked part-time in our hometown. I figured out I was putting 12,000 miles per year on our car without ever leaving the borders of our little home town, just running kids from one activity or friends’ house to another.</p>
<p>I actually dreaded my kids getting their licenses though. Not for safety reasons, but some of the best quality time I had with them was in the car. For some reason kids will talk while they’re in the car - maybe because we can’t stare at them while we’re driving. And I’d always get their immediate impressions of whatever activity they had just left. If they got a ride home, they’d walk in the door, I’d say “How was it?” and they’d say, “Fine.” They’d already processed it and mentally moved on.</p>
<p>Donkey Father’s hardest test: not ripping out the guts of that future SIL (Son In Law) when he’s first introduced by the D or S.</p>
<p>NEVER good enough!</p>
<p>I have seen DH (donkey husband) regress to Rabid Tiger when in this spot.</p>
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<p>My H switched from insane physician hours to teaching with summers off after our youngest started college. My teeth still grind when I think about how much more flexible his time is now, while I’m working longer hours since I don’t need to do the whole schlep/plan/keep-everyone-alive-and-thriving routine that he, with the best will in the world, just wasn’t available for back then.</p>
<p>Don’t forget about “costume Mom” putting together a costume the night before Halloween even though Costume Mom was told the previous week “I don’t need a costume”. Thank goodness for double-sided tape, iron on patches, duct tape, and scissors!</p>
<p>and don’t forget standing in a 2 hour long line in some far way store where they just got the latest limited edition beanie baby that D just couldn’t live without having…</p>
<p>I LOVED schlepping kids in the car. They actually talked – and about interesting things, and what was really going on in their heads. It’s the part I miss most about them both being gone.</p>
<p>Aha! I almost forgot about Costume Mom a/k/a “Mother as Pack Mule.” For 3 years while my “youngers” were in middle school, I came to school and measured 60-80 cast members for the annual play, and then went to the local costume place to select costumes for all of them, make sure that the shop had all the dimensions correct for each kid, that each costume on a hanger was labeled for each child, piled all the costumes into my station wagon, dragged them to school, put them on racks, being careful to separate boys from girls, made sure the costumes were carefully (ha!) put away by the kids after each performance, picked up all the costume pieces left on the floor in the dressing rooms after each performance.</p>
<p>Have definitely spent my life as a Donkey Mom with plenty of contributions from Donkey Dad. with a few exceptions, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. </p>
<p>Have spent quality time with my children, gotten to know their friends (love being the “cool” house where they liked to hang out), been involved with their activities, etc.</p>
<p>Have put off looking at the Tiger mom thread. Guess I have to check it out now. Please tell me it won’t give me a headache???</p>
<p>Wow! Donkey’s and Tigers have pretty different priorities!</p>