<p>Did no one but me ever date someone who never made more of themselves than they were in their 20’s? </p>
<p>Agree with the idea that having a healthy and balance life is important.</p>
<p>One lingering concern we have for our child’s choice of SO is that his future SO may push him too hard in his career or the choice of specialty, either for the superficial thing like prestige, or for making more money. As long as he could make enough to pay back his loans and still live a good enough (“middle class”) life, we are happy.</p>
<p>BTW, would a couple in a relationship talk about this potentially touchy issue: how much student loan debt each of them has accumulated? It is very unromantic to be anywhere near this topic, but eventually they need to face the financial issue if they are in a committed relationship. At what stage of their relationship will they likely talk about this?</p>
<p>We recent heard that the elder brother (who is much more older than her and may be partly a “fatherly” figure in his relationship to her) came to his GF’s college town to see her and had a meal with both of them. Maybe I am over-sensitive: There may be a chance that he came there to “evaluate” DS to see if he is a “fit”. This is because he has to travel a very long distance to see her. Hopefully, DS “passed” 
I heard he insisted on paying for the meal likely because he thinks he is senior to both of them. (not sure if it was a dinner or a lunch, and it was more than one times or a single event . It seems he stayed in town several days just for the purpose of visiting his sister before he flied back home.) It seems like they are from a very close-knit family.</p>
<p>In any relationship worth anything . . a couple should be able to talk about anything as soon as they feel close to one another. That can take weeks or months . . but generally if not by then, then likely never. And finances do need to be discussed because money ends up, in the end, being the thing that most damages relationships. I would think anybody would have to consider that their potential spouse has hundreds of thousands of student loans before commitment to a long term relationship. Undoubtedly that is going to bring a crimp to their lifestyle because those loans, even under IBR, are going to be a big drain on discretionary income, which is going to significantly limit the types of things that make life easier and more joyful . . . things like eating out, vacations and travel, let alone being able to afford a house or a car.</p>