<p>^ What how can that be? I thought our kids were supposed to tell us everything. 
</p>
<p>I posted in that thread! My daughter continues to be a late bloomer. She’s now 25, and she’s had one relationship that lasted 3 months, and it was not very serious at all. No dating in high school, at all (nothing, nada, zilch). Some dating and hooking up in college, but nothing serious. Since graduating 3 years ago, she had this one relationship, and nothing else. From what I little I can wring from her, if she’s dated at all, nothing has gone beyond one or two dates. </p>
<p>She will not talk to me about this, at all. When I was her age, my 20-something girlfriends who didn’t have boyfriends were quite unhappy about this. I have no idea if she’s OK with the total lack of romance in her life, or if she’s upset. And I can’t think of any way to raise it with her without pushing the wrong buttons. I am wide open to suggestions.</p>
<p>I have to laugh at someone who thinks 16 is a late bloomer. Try having a 25 year old who’s never had a boyfriend (or girlfriend – although I’m sure she’s straight, I really don’t care). </p>
<p>I agree with all of Niquii77’s post.</p>
<p>Neither of my kids had non platonic friends in high school, to my knowledge.
That isnt being a " late bloomer", its being pragmatic.
I am not sure of older daughters romantic entanglements in college, but she recently married into a great family that adore her as much as her husband does. She is in her early thirties, which seems like a good time to get married, better than young like me.</p>
<p>My youngest and her friends made a conscious decision as teens, not to get distracted by dating in high school.
I see that as being more mature, than the unconscious decision my friends made which was to play guys off against each other.</p>
<p>I was never concerned about their lack of interest in the opposite sex in high school, I actually thought it was great!</p>
<p>My late-bloomer just got engaged 
Now she is worried that she is too young to get married - she’ll be 22. Considering I got married at 19 I have nothing negative to say about that. He’s 4 or 5 years older. Seems perfect to me.</p>
<p>We went out to dinner with our neighbors who have Ds three and the same age as s1 and this conversation came up and they pooh poohed me and told me I have nothing to worry about. Her daughter is 25 and has never had a boyfriend- or even a date since high school and the daughter is 21 and has never been on a date either</p>
<p>And they aren’t bad looking either. Apparently from s1 the second daughter is way to picky and the first is a huge party girl. We are just worried that if s1 doesn’t date until he’s out of school he’ll be way to far behind the curve. He always jokes it was his destiny to find his wife online( personally I think he’s a great catch if he could get over the late blooming hurdle) he is active at church and at sports and is motivated so I think he will be okay. I just hope both of them find love. </p>
<p>My oldest, who recently married after living with her (now) husband for a few years and dating him for a few years before that, originally met him on OK cupid, although I believe her previous partners she met more conventionally. </p>
<p>Well, since his parents did not really date anyone until we met in our early 30’s I guess that 24 year old son who shows no signs of any girlfriends is unlikely to for quite a while. Knowing how picky/perfectionistic et al he can be, plus working in software development/engineering his chances don’t look too good. </p>
<p>Generations change- my mother was practically an old maid at 24, my generation most often married in their mid twenties and this generation closer to 30- both sides of it. I guess H and I were just ahead of the curve…</p>
<p>I had posted in the old thread also. My late bloomer daughter (no dates in HS at all - including Prom) is still dating the guy she met the first week of college (almost 2 years now). Although several of her classmates had long term relationships in High School - she is the only one with a steady in college. Her current roommate is also in a long term relationship and the two couples spend time together (not really double-dating but doing stuff with their group of friends). </p>
<p>I think having relationships and learning the skills involved in them is a healthy and important part of growing up. It is often cited as one of the negatives of the "hook up"culture at today’s colleges.</p>
<p>DH and I met when we were 18. We have told our sons may times about how we met in college. We have also told them about how their 3 uncles all waited until after 40 to meet and marry their wives. So some people find their spouse earlier than others. </p>
<p>I started that old thread, <a href=“Are your kids late-bloomers re "dating"? - Parent Cafe - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1289430-are-your-kids-late-bloomers-re-dating-p1.html</a>. My girls are now 20 and 24 and still haven’t “bloomed”. I find it a bit mystifying especially in the case of the oldest. I still worry that the late-bloomingness itself becomes an ever-bigger psychological hurdle, but I say nothing to the kids unless I’m asked. BTW, my own definition of late is no “relationships”, even transient ones, by the end of college, or maybe age 20. My youngest told us a year ago, with some trepidation, that maybe she’s also attracted to girls (no “relationships” with girls either, though). We told her whoever she’s happy with is fine with us. </p>
<p>H and I were both late bloomers - not dates or BF/GF until college. Both of our kids are late bloomers. D told me she wasn’t interested in wasting her time with anyone she couldn’t see herself with long term. I have no idea whether or not she dated in college - she was a long way from home and didn’t mention anyone special. A year and a half out of college, she met a great guy. She is still with him a year and a half later, and I figure they will probably get married … in a few years, since D is not in a hurry as far as that goes. S just graduated from college. Not sure if/how much he dated in college (I do not know everything they do, nor do I want to know everything they do) … but he talks on the phone half the night to a young lady who lives a couple hours away. Not sure if there is anything to that, but I figure if he wants me to know, he’ll tell me. </p>
<p>Our kids are 26 and 29. I just tell them I’d like one of them to get married before I have to rent the room at the assisted living for the reception or rehearsal dinner. They just roll their eyes.</p>
<p>If we look at assisted living places, I’ll be checking out the party venues and the food.</p>
<p>ETA…this is what I posted on the old thread!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Too funny! And it hasn’t changed!</p>
<p>D1 came home from a grant year and discovered Tinder. Met some nice guys, young professionals, grad students. Real dates. I’d almost come to think they didn’t exist anymore.</p>
<p>I didn’t think ds2 really was a late-bloomer, it’s just that people were constantly asking me why he wasn’t dating. He and I would talk about it; he was really picky so when he finally found a girl, I knew he was serious about her.</p>
<p>
@tiderider14, You are right. It turns out that she invited DS instead this time, even though he was already planning to ask her out this coming weekend when she initiated it.</p>
<p>We believe he will likely pay more this time again - at least this is what we kind of “taught” him before: traditionally, the guy needs to pay for the first couple of dates at least. However, she likely has more “pocket money” (from her parents) to spend than he does. (They knew each other quite well as “just friends” in the past several years.) They need to work out how to deal with the “who-pays-for-what” issue if they continue their relationship.</p>
<p>My girls were friendly with guys in high school but never “dated”, in college, again, a lot of friends, one had a closer relationship for a short time. Neither liked the “hookup” culture but found most of their friends were serious about studies and didn’t want any relationship unless it was with someone they considered a long-term prospect.
They always had mixed outings though, they value their male friends but just didn’t “click” with them that way. </p>
<p>My niece didn’t date in college, pretty blonde, some people thought it was odd, met a great guy at her first job and they will probably get married, but not in a hurry. My nephew dated a bit, but same thing, mostly just friends in school and met someone a few years out that he is serious with. </p>
<p>I was always grateful that my kids didn’t have serious relationships in high school that might have influenced applications and where they went to school. </p>
<p>I see this trend as the norm more now, much different than when I was younger…way back when. ; )</p>
<p>S2, who’s almost 24, is still a late bloomer. He still mainly hangs out with guy friends (golfing, bars, video gaming). I think he’s asked some women out, but I think they’ve been co-workers which is probably not the best thing to do. We wish he’d go to grad school for professional reasons, but it might also help him meet women in a more natural environment than bars.</p>
<p>S did have a brief summer romance for a few months when he was 21 or so. Since then we believe he MAY have had other relationships with females (but he doesn’t say anything and hasn’t introduced anyone to us or D). D has had a few dates for prom and winter ball in HS, but as far as we know nothing since. Both have a nice circle of male and female friends. S is 26 and D is 24. I’m not worried but am figuring they are working on other areas of their life and will let me know when they meet nice folks that they want us to know. We figure both are rather particular in their friends. ;)</p>
<p>My son was a late bloomer, then he fell ill. It’s hard to imagine him getting a girlfriend now. Another one of those things I’ve had to let go of.</p>
<p>My D (recent college grad) dated a guy very seriously in HS - then had a very bad breakup. She didn’t really date much in college - a couple dates here and there, but no one seriously. I’m curious to see what happens now that she’s out in the adult world. </p>
<p>My S, OTOH, was an “early bloomer”. He came out (formally, although most people already knew or suspected) in his junior year of HS and never looked back. He’s dated ALOT! But now, at 18 (college sophomore) - he’s decided that he wants to settle down. Problem is - guys his age just want to play the field and older guys are “boring”. Sigh…he’s my high drama child.</p>