<p>No. Your life has barely started. </p>
<p>You. Are. Fine. </p>
<p>I believe DS might have gone to an outdoor Jazz concert at a public park. They likely rent two chairs for $10 each. I heard DS has interests in more varieties of music due to his heavy involvement in music related clubs in college years, but the girl has been into the classic music mostly. I heard her violin costs 2-3 times more than DS’s - his “student-level competition grade” violin was not that cheap either. I think it cost 5K about 15? years ago.</p>
<p>The D of one of our family friends dated with a dude who was a poor student. He often took her to fastfood chains but I heard she complained about it. Not sure whether they are still together (both have been graduated since last summer. It will be very lucky if they end up in the same area.) BTW, she was in some kind of “softer” engineering major (BME or some variation of it.) but takes her first job in some finance company - JPMogan or alike. Maybe the point of majoring in engineering today is to hone their analysis skill and then become a finance analyst.)</p>
<p>Cobrat, I don’t think “Ultimate Cheapskates” is what most girls are amused by. Quit while you are ahead. And an overt misrepresentation is a bad sign, unless both are pranksters.<br>
I’ve been to our landfill and it was fascinating. </p>
<p>
DS’s college was like that. At one time, his suitemate even got a cake on DS’s birthday to celebrate his birthday. The funny thing was none of the suitmates paid for it. The suitmate who “found” the birthday cake was just so resourceful that he could find it without paying for it - it is not that they were cheap - plenty of his suitmates have no problem with money. No wonder he served the role of the “president” of their residential college in one year. He is a very public figure and knows a lot of people.</p>
<p>Actually, at the end of their first school year, their suite decoded to throw away all the furniture in the living room they purchased like 8-9 months ago. After the summer, they purchased whatever furniture they need again.</p>
<p>Back to the dating subject: When we asked DS whether he thinks his current date as rich as a particular of suitemate in his college and he said “no”, we think he likes that girl as he starts to “defend” her. LOL.</p>
<p>Cheap date ideas.
If you are 21- lots of places have Happy hours which may even include live music.
Even if you are not a college student, I agree that the local university may have free lectures/free days museum, or student concerts.</p>
<p>If you like hiking, once you have equipment ( which can be pricey), you are just paying for gas & possibly a permit.
'I can’t say Ive even hiked anywhere with running water in the bathrooms. outside of a state or federal camping area… Generally there is nothing available except for pit toilets or possibly a regular bathroom at the ranger station. Pit toilets in the backcountry don"t get used much, so they really aren’t bad, especially in my climate which tends to be cool.
Youngest has traveled in both rural Africa and India before college, including areas without potable water, so I know that a port-a-potty in the US, wouldn’t faze her.
We also often went camping for our family vacation, but to someone in another part of the country with nastier summers, that might sound too primitive.
But in the northwest, the summers are so gorgeous that you want to spend as much time as possible outside. Or I do anyway.
That was one of the things I had in common with H. We met at the end of summer, but it was plenty warm enough to go camping, fishing and hiking, through at least mid October. I especially liked river fishing, because I didnt like to be stuck in a boat, although I admit I still marvel at his bladder capacity.</p>
<p>My college daughter and her boyfriend have no money to speak of - they go on inexpensive dates - a walk in the park, free museums, free tourist stuff (lots of this in Boston), inexpensive food (dim sum, cannoli from the north end, etc.), on-campus theater productions, and sometimes they hang out and play games (video, cards, board games). When they go to dinner they alternate pizza using his dining dollars and dining hall using her meal swipes. </p>
<p>To be honest, with what I’ve experience with rural areas abroad, an Inca toilet (the ground) is better than the community is some cases. If my date and I were hiking and the provided toilet was a port-a-potty, I’d take squat off the trail. I am not highly intolerable to the smells and air quality of port-a-pottys or a poorly managed public restroom. :-& </p>
<p>One thing I’ve noticed is that S’s last two GFs both seem to like to buy him ties and other things. Both of them, although fellow students, obviously had/have a lot more money than he does, although he dresses with style. I only hope that he reciprocated in some way. I don’t dare ask. :)</p>
<p>I am perfectly at home in a good restaurant, but I would be wearing low heels or flats. Never in my life would I wear stilettos. And I love hiking and camping and have no problem staying in hostels, while I know other people who wouldn’t dream of staying somewhere that didn’t have room service and a concierge. I can’t imagine wearing shoes that I couldn’t walk 4 or 5 blocks in. As I said, a guy who wouldn’t drop a person off in bad weather if it was requested is being churlish, but yes, better to know up front that it is a mismatch.</p>
<p>Consolation, judgement goes both ways, as D2 would say. D1 is a princess and she is proud of it. She looks mighty good in stilettos. Any guy who would prefer to see her in flats to avoid dropping her off in front of a restaurant is a fool.</p>
<p>Not sure why shoes that limit movement would make anyone more attractive, but whatever.
It reminds me of when the wealthy classes had things done to them to emphasize that they didnt have to work/do things for themselves.</p>
<p>I wore some spikes in my time, lol. Nowadays, I like dressy shoes but my feet can’t last long in anything more binding than sneakers, and my right foot is a full number size larger than my left foot. When I wear dress shoes, I have to be sure I can get out of them after a minimal amount of time. Wouldn’t dare go with more than 2-1/5 inches in a heel. Never could wear those damn pointed-toe things.</p>
<p>Oh, I could give you the latest theory about how high heels tilt the pelvis forward and trigger those subconscious, primitive reactions in men that people somehow research nowadays. I don’t go looking for this sort of info, it somehow finds me.</p>
<p>
This. </p>
<p>I wear high heels, as well. It’s more attractive when you’re able to actually walk in the shoes than just shuffle around a few steps. (It’s painful to watch women who can’t walk in heels hunch over as they try to walk.) I wore six inch heels to my brother’s graduation. The parking lot was half a mile away from the arena. I walked. Did my feet hurt? Yes. Did I make sure I could pull my weight in heels? Yes. Comes with the territory. </p>
<p>CC discussion always degenerate down to “Well, I am better person than you because I would NEVER do this, and anyone who should is ____.” It really doesn’t matter whether you are requesting to be dropped off closer to the event location because of your shoes, back pain, or carrying a baby…the point is whether the person you are with is considerate enough to accommodate you. </p>
<p>What’s often frustrating about CC is that just because what someone is doing (paying full tuition, wearing high heels, camping vs staying at a luxury hotel) is different than what you would do, it is looked down upon. I want to say to all who have posted to say wearing high heels is silly or can walk 5 miles wearing high heels, “Good for you. You are a better person.”</p>
<p>Many parents are posting that their kids are late bloomers when it comes to dating. As a parent of 2 girls, I offered my opinion that maybe some of those sons could try some traditional dating techniques - ask a girl out, pick up and drop off, and be a gentleman. It doesn’t always involve a lot of money, just some time and effort, which is priceless.</p>
<p>Not sure how this thread veered from relationships to shoes. The word “dating” is an imperfect shorthand for the original topic, which is, more long-windedly, having a significant other, even a short term one. Traditional dates may or may not lead to any actual relationship. If they don’t, I wouldn’t count them on the blooming scale. For my daughters, I think the classic “date” arrangement would seem archaic and strange, and wouldn’t foster a sense of connection. Of course other people feel differently. My concern is about not finding a partnership/sexual connection with someone as you get into your twenties. NOT NECESSARILY A PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP!! I would actually be pretty alarmed if they were looking for spouses now.</p>
<p>
As your daughter would say, oldfort, judgment goes both ways. </p>
<p>Hmm, I’m trying to think why in heaven’s name the guy just didn’t drop your D as requested.</p>
<p>Maybe he was hoping to have her lean on him and get all close and snuggly on a cold night on the walk to the restaurant. </p>
<p>The purpose of high heels is to look great. If you can walk in them, kudos to you! (My own limit is two inches.)</p>
<p>S tried all of the ‘gentlemen’ techniques in college. (In HS, dating was not on the radar.) I think he may have overdid it a few times and scared the girls off. Live and learn. He toned it down a bit but continues to treat his GF of 2 years with much consideration and attention. They both look happy to me.</p>
<p>N77 - I don’t believe there was any judgement made about women wearing sensible shoes or can walk miles with their heels. </p>
<p>IRL, how many women here have never been dropped off in front of church, restaurant, concert by their husband or father because it was too cold or too far to walk?</p>
<p>
"I want to say to all who have posted to say wearing high heels is silly or can walk 5 miles wearing high heels, “Good for you. You are a better person.”</p>
<p>Judgement? I guess not. Unnecessary snark? I guess more fittingly so. </p>
<p>Thank you, seren50! What you said is exactly what I’m feeling. So many of my friends, when this topic comes up, assume I’m concerned because my daughter is not engaged or married yet. NO! I’m not assigning spinster hood on her quite yet, but I think it’s healthy and expected for a 25-year-old to have had one or more long-term relationships by now.</p>
<p>And I am amazed at the way this conversation veered. For those of us who have late bloomers, hearing stories about your daughters’ dating lives is exactly what we’re not happy hearing about. I don’t have ANY dating anecdotes to share. </p>