So I’m sorry to jump in the conversation late, but I came across your thread and thought that I just had to give you some advice that a very wise person gave me when I was in a very similar situation.
First of all, I know exactly how it feels to be depressed, full of anxiety and like you don’t really have any genuine friends or joy in your life. It’s grueling, dark and an emotional state that can be so hard to see beyond. It is truly something that cannot be put into word completely and so many people just have no idea how miserable it is.
Secondly, Katherine, I wanted to tell you that you can make it through this. It sounds to me like a large portion of how unhappy you are is due to very bad situations with your roommate and friends. Toxic and unhealthy relationships with your friends can be so detrimental to your wellbeing and can sabotage everything that is good in your life, including your mental sharpness and grades. I was quite recently in a situation that I think you are in as well, even though you haven’t specifically said so. Do not let the “so called good friends you have” or a recent event, fight or disagreement make you feel like you have to flee the place you are at. I think that, if you decide to return to your school after the well needed break that you are on, you should ask your guidance counselors or dorm leaders if you can have a different roommate or even move to a different dorm if at all possible. The next part would be to find uplifting and positive friends to spend your time with. Stay away from the people who are negative and try to bring you down, who do drugs or party. I know that this sounds like every parents basic lecture but trust me, this will give you the right foundation to having a good and successful end go the year, even for the next year. Personally, I think that you still have hope at your current boarding school, it’s just a matter of seeking it out and grasping it. I recommend getting out of any classes that are unnecessary and that don’t make you happy and getting into classes like art, sculpture, dance, sports, debate or anything that you receive joy out of participating in. It will amaze you how much of an impact on class that helps you mind can improve your outlook and emotions. You just need to find one thing that makes you happy and pursue it, trust me, once this unfolds to you you will see such an improvement in your situation.
I think that it is an excellent start to begin seeing a therapist again. You may even ask your parents to take you to see a psychologist.
If you decide that you truly have no other option and cannot salvage your career at you current school than you have every right to go to a different one of your choice. But if you do decide to leave for good, know that this does not guarantee that you will be any happier at a different place. Often we are unhappy inside and we attribut it to our physical surroundings. Not to say that it is all just in your head and your situation at your school is perfectly fine by any means. Anyone can see that some things absolutely need fixing.
Ultimately, talk to you parents, your therapist or even a psychologist and even ask your parents to call to talk to your schools counselors and do what you know will be best for you, and only you because this is your high school career and no one but you can know how you truly feel. Follow your gut, deep down you know what to do more than anyone else does.
Good luck Katherine, I wish you all the best.