Re: the parents. Did anyone read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker?
It’s been many years since I read the book, but one of the details that stuck with me was how our brains will send up flares – little warnings will bubble up to the surface – and then almost immediately many of us will over-write the message and explain it away or minimize it.
It starts with something as simple as a vague feeling that “something is not right”, and then we quickly convince ourselves that we are just being silly. Apparently, this is very common.
de Becker argues that we need to pay careful attention when we get that feeling because more than likely, it’s telling us a vital piece of information.
@Midwest67 - It’s an excellent book and one that has stuck with me and I’ve tried to pass that on to my children. It does seem too many people dismiss those little warnings. It took all my willpower not to throw things at my TV while watching “Abducted in Plain Sight.” I’m not sure I have it in me to watch similar parental behavior in “Finding Neverland.” I never believed MJ having little boys sleep in his bed was innocent. I think a lot of pedophiles convince themselves that their victim is actually a willing participant and therefore they aren’t doing anything harmful. And this goes for male and female pedophiles.
I got the opportunity to deal personally with De Becker when a client of our firm who was a celebrity was being stalked. He was very helpful and very good at dealing with the issue. Very nice guy with excellent ideas.
I can’t believe the boys would have good relationships who knowingly allowed or even more, encouraged the boys to share a bed with MJ. I haven’t seen the movie, only the trailer and I found that difficult enough. Where there any dads in these boys’ lives?
@Midwest67 Spot on with the connection to The Gift of Fear. What makes the documentary valuable in my opinion is its four hour confrontation with what would have set off alarm bells in every adult involved if they hadn’t dismissed their instincts and turned away.
Some radio stations have dropped MJ music from their playlist. His music now just conjures up images of child abuse to me and I can’t listen to it anymore.
I can’t watch. The review I read was already too graphic but the few details made it clear it happened.
As for "the parents bought into ‘he’s a child himself and wants to live the childhood he never had…’ even back then I wondered: why not have slumber parties then? Lots of kids, all with their own mattress and sleeping bags. That’s what little boys do.
I can’t really listen to his songs but then again wasn’t a fan to begin with. Like everyone I have a basic familiarity with his music.
However to be fair I think his early songs are not off limits (like “ABC, 1.2.3”)
There have been many great artists who were terrible, even criminal, people. Renoir the painter was a virulent anti-Semite; Flaubert paid to have sex with boys; Tolstoy emotionally abused his wife and had sex with his serfs (de facto slaves); Anne Sexton abused her daughter, Leni Riefnstahl celebrated Hitler’s fascism. We’re very close to the MJ revelations, but there is a good chance that in decades to come his music will remain influential even as the man’s true character recedes in public consciousness.
@HImom One of the boys had a dad who was mentally ill. He mentioned that he had wished at the time that MJ was his dad. Making it all the more sad imo. The other guy’s dad seemed dazzled by the celebrity but he wasn’t interviewed at all, and hardly mentioned. Not sure what the deal is there.
I’m certainly not for banning his music but I’ll never listen to it again and will change the station if it’s on the radio. However, I wouldn’t call in and complain. I feel his work is separate, in a way.
“We’re very close to the MJ revelations, but there is a good chance that in decades to come his music will remain influential even as the man’s true character recedes in public consciousness.”
Actually, I wonder if recent history is taking us in the other direction e.g. renaming of buildings, removing of statues, etc. And to me that is a good thing.
MJ holds the vast amount of the blame and responsibility but I find plenty of room left to blame the parents, our legal/law enforcement system, a society that worships celebrity, money, power. This happens way too often and often repeats itself. =((
There are plenty of artists, musicians, film producers, etc. that we wouldn’t want as friends and would let our children hang out with. We haven’t all stopped watching Harvey Weinstein movies
“Actually, I wonder if recent history is taking us in the other direction e.g. renaming of buildings, removing of statues, etc. And to me that is a good thing.”
@doschicos, to me, too, generally. If there were buildings named after MJ or statues of him, I would not be opposed to them being changed/taken down. I also think there will be a temporary dip in the popularity of his music. But in the long run, I think MJ will slip into that not-insignificant club of influential artists with a messy, at times shocking, personal life.
“We haven’t all stopped watching Harvey Weinstein movies”
And didn’t CBS just start a whole new season of Bull after having to pay Eliza Dushku almost $10 million after Bull’s star repeatedly harassed her, including harassment that was actually caught on film?
Comments about someone’s appearance and making repulsive jokes ( what the star of Bull is accused of doing); is not even close to rape, (or raping a child. like Neverland makes clear to me Jackson did) It’s not criminal conduct, it’s not the sort of thing one can’t get out of their mind when watching an actor ( at least for me). They shouldn’t be equated.
