<p>opori2, they are the ones burning the bridges, not you. Get the heck out of there.</p>
<p>They’re not going to “understand” because they don’t like losing control over you. I’m guessing they would never get away with treating a hired employee from outside the family they way they treat you. </p>
<p>I like powercropper’s idea of fining one phrase to repeat, over and over, when they badger you. Something like, “It’s time for me to move on.” Repeat it, no matter what they throw at you. If they say, “you don’t care about the family”, you say “It’s time for me to move on.” If they call you ungrateful, you say “It’s time for me to move on.”
If they ask, “Where is you sense of honor?”, you say “It’s time for me to move on.” Rinse, repeat.</p>
<p>sweetheart…there arent any bridges there to burn. {{hugs}}</p>
<p>As wonderful as you truly are, you are a black sheep to them. go where you will get the love and treatment that you deserve.</p>
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<h1>"What do I do when they start screaming at me and insulting me? How do I handle their disappointment and anger? That’s the part that really upsets me. "</h1>
<p>Walk out and never look back.</p>
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<p>Absolutely…and be proud of yourself for putting an end to their mistreatment. (we all will be with you in spirit walking out with you if it comes to that.)</p>
<p>Absolutely LOVE calla1’s phrase “it’s time for me to move on” . Of course, your family will be furious that you won’t engage them when they rebuke you, but you can attempt to maintain your composure by repeating the phrase over and over.</p>
<p>during this two week notice, quietly take home/gather your stuff so that if you have to exit quickly at some point you can.</p>
<p>you dont want to be in a situation where leaving involves 45 minutes of gathering stuff and listening to their abuse.</p>
<p>I once worked in a toxic environment ( a bunch of old guys who didnt want women intruding into their domain). I suspected that I might, at some point, have to quit/exit quickly, so I quietly brought most of my stuff home and kept anything that I needed at work gathered in a box for easy departure. Sure enough, when one of the guys stole a commission from me and the boss wouldnt do anything, I quit. I opened my desk, grabbed my box and purse and never looked back.</p>
<p>Please follow mom2college advice–pack up now quietly. If you need contact info for family members, business contacts you may need, get them now while you’re still there. Harder to ask later. Take personal items home. And then just go to work and be ready to leave. You can leave but don’t leave in a huff.</p>
<p>When I left my first job my boss WAS mad at me (more upset) (actually a few months notice)–but I knew it was because he wanted to keep me around. He wasn’t mad at ME–he was mad at the idea of finding and training someone else he trusted and I knew I’d be missed. He told me so. I was sad to go (I truly loved working there) and he was sad to see me go but we both knew I had to move on. He certainly did NOT berate me at any time nor my need to leave. That is not how people who care about each other acts.</p>
<p>When I left my second job it was simply time to get out. I still loved the job but was getting used–time-wise, money-wise. Which is why I mentioned “doormat” in an earlier post–I was one. I left some friends but made new ones and escaped from a some-what toxic environment to a HUGELY better one. My only thought afterwards was “why did it take me SO long to switch jobs?” My only answer was that I simply didn’t know better. Sounds like you’re figuring that out.</p>
<p>When I made that leap I did two things–made a deadline for myself and figured out what I needed to take with me.<br>
You have already made your deadline and given the 2 week notice. Don’t look back. And don’t go back.
Now gather up your stuff and be ready to clear out.</p>
<p>Just repeat the “time to move on” mantra to whatever you hear and whatever is asked. Don’t offer any other explanations. Don’t get dragged into “why I need to leave”, “what’s up with the family”, “my dad didn’t get part of the business”, “nobody loves me”, “mom said so”, or even " I just really hate this and need something new" discussions. There are no good scenarios that emanate from any of those discussions that won’t travel to other family members in a good manner.
Keep the mantra and keep on moving!</p>
<p>As others have said, get your things out of there, and though I urge you to take the high road and be curteous to your family, but be firm in your making your break. </p>
<p>I have a close friend who was in a similar situation. She refused to leave her job and work in her husband’s family business as the other wives did. Yes, it created a lot of animosity, but in future years, it was clear she did the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for all of your help on this! You’ve all been very supportive and encouraging, and it really helps a lot.</p>
<p>I can gather that quitting altogether truly is the best option, and just like any other job, sometimes you just have to leave. I think I’m torn because I somehow expect things to get better and because I know that I’m throwing away a good-paying job, but like you all have said, feeling used and upset and being brushed off and overworked isn’t acceptable in a “real” job.</p>
<p>I think one of the other things I’m worried about is the “stigma” or “bad reflection” of not working again until August. I don’t need the money, and I plan on pursuing academic and professional endeavors with this extra time until I can start tutoring again. Should I feel bad and guilty for this? I’m sure I could find another job until school starts, but what would even be the point? I can tutor at school next summer since I’ll have more seniority, so it would just be the last stretch of this summer that I wouldn’t be working. My one (good) aunt advised me to think about the money, but she also doesn’t know how much money I actually have.</p>
<p>I suppose all of this still stems from worrying about what other people think (I personally would be happy for a break), but it still wouldn’t be a big deal to transition between jobs, right?</p>
<p>Most young adults are blowing through their money faster than they can earn it, and HAVE to work to keep a stream of income. You have worked diligently and saved diligently, and are in a GREAT position to make a splurge.</p>
<p>You NEED to take a trip, get out of town, and find some peace and quiet. It doesn’t have to be far, and don’t know if you can find a lake or beach to sit by and RELAX. It is so very important in this major, stressful life change for you to have some downtime to process and release the toxic family issues. </p>
<p>It doesn’t matter what you do between now and school starting again, your crazy family members will bad talk you. You could take an internship with the president or the pope and they would still find a way to talk bad about you.</p>
<p>It may be hard to think of yourself first, but that’s exactly what I suggest you do. Do you have a dream vacation desitination? Or simply roll the dice, get online and find the cheapest airline ticket.</p>
<p>We are all behind you. You have saved money. You deserve a vacation.</p>
<p>There is no stigma at all to taking the time off. None. This is the time in your life when you will best be able to do it.</p>
<p>FWIW, my son is taking the month of July off, with our blessing. School starts August 1st so there really isn’t time to get a job between his very recent HS graduation and the start of college. We are perfectly fine with him taking a well-deserved break.</p>
<p>Yes, I suppose I could take a vacation! My final day is going to be July 2nd (that’s 2 weeks to when I told them I’d be taking time off), and I’ve always wanted to go to a big city like New York or Chicago. </p>
<p>I live in a small town, so that definitely adds to all of this since my family lives here, too. It’d be nice to just get away for a while. </p>