<p>Has anyone had any experience in their child having a terrible time leaving behind the high school sweetheart?
My son was set on a gap year but came back from a month away and said he no longer wanted to go out of the country. He wanted to take his gap year at home. We vetoed that idea and he is now preparing to go to school in the fall. He is getting excited and marked up the catalog with classes he wants to take. But last night he told his Dad he is depressed that he is going to have to leave the girlfriend. It is about a 5 hour drive so it would not be impossible for them to see each other occasionally. He will not have a car.
This is his first serious romance. She will still be in high school.</p>
<p>Hey, I had a pretty similar situation! It makes it easier when the girl cheats on the guy over the summer on a cruise boat.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t start worrying about how tough it is for him to leave her until he makes it through the first semester without cheating on her (if they’re still together).</p>
<p>It’s not that I’ve never seen high school romances survive college. Just never unscathed. In a short while, everyone will be older AND wiser.</p>
<p>Mom60 - My son left his GF who was in HS. Their intimate relationship faded over the course of the year and a 2000 mile distance. But they remain very close friends four years later and spend a lot of time together still when they are both in town at the same time. I know they still speak multiple times a day.</p>
<p>Relationships take all different shapes and forms depending upon the sociability, maturity and compatibility of each individual. </p>
<p>I felt it was a positive thing the first year at school to have a close friend from home constantly in touch. It made the adjustment at a big school easier.</p>
<p>The main problem was the expense, as he wanted to come home to visit more than we had budgeted.</p>
<p>He may not have a car, but if she has access to one and can visit him, a thorough discussion of the importance of contraception may be in order.</p>
<p>As I put it to my son, in our society a young woman cannot be forced into parenthood against her will; a young man can be. Decisions about how to handle an unplanned pregnancy are entirely the woman’s, and child support lasts for 18 years.</p>
<p>The above is not particularly romantic, but one must be practical as well.</p>
<p>Marian- I just pointed out your above comments for my husband. He has had talks but I think that is one that definitely needs repeating.
I am worried about him leaving her from the prospective of I want this to be a positive experience not a dreaded one. I hope the relationship fades when he is away. I do worry that if she is the one to do the breaking up that he will be heartbroken.</p>
<p>This is one of those situations that is out of your hands. I sympathize, if it were my child I’d be worried too, because I worry about everything. But as an objective observer, I can remind you that it will be up to the kids whether the relationship will last or fail. You can’t control it. The best you can do is be supportive, regardless of what happens. In the mean time, focus on the things you CAN control, and remind your son of all the positives going off to college will bring to his life. Good luck!</p>
<p>I lived for 1.5 years in Japan, 3 months in DC, now 3 months in Korea, and I go to grad school about 3.5 hours away (accounting for traffic) from my girlfriend.</p>
<p>It was 8 years together in June. 8 years without a single “incident.” It can be done and it does happen.</p>
<p>congrats, UCCLAri! My H and I managed to get through a lot of HS/college years without an “incident” either. Some people do make it permanent from a young age “unscathed.”</p>
<p>I remember being told at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, and 22 that I would almost certainly seek to “broaden my horizons.” Usually by single people who hadn’t managed any long-term relationships. I haven’t heard it in a year or so-- I suppose that just means I’m overdue. I do find, however, that people grow less incredulous of my long-term plans as I get older; that’s definitely a plus. I got really exasperated at 16-20 trying to explain to people that I had no desire to “meet new people” for the sake of meeting new people.</p>
<p>I also got tired of being called boring or otherwise abnormal.</p>
<p>I do think that supportive family and friends helped quite a bit.</p>