<p>I’m a rising sophomore who came back for the summer because I wanted to be close to my family. Next year, if I receive an out-of-city internship, I’m not sure I’ll be coming back.</p>
<p>My future situation begs my question: when do college kids “stop” going to their parents’ house for summer’s duration?</p>
<p>It depends on individual circumstances. They usually stop when their own circumstances either dictate it or allow it.</p>
<p>Some go away to college and work all year, including the summer, to support themselves and never move back home.</p>
<p>Others get out of town/state internships in the summer and essentially don’t come back except for maybe a visit.</p>
<p>Yet others live in the town but choose to stay in an apartment, sometimes near the campus (if going to college nearby) if they can manage it.</p>
<p>There’s no set time but not moving back around the timeframe you’re talking about isn’t unusual.</p>
<p>Once students have a 12 month lease and don’t need to return home for breaks or at the end of the school year when the dorms close. Some will sublet, but I suspect most would rather be in their college town than hometown after sophomore year, especially since most HS friends have drifted apart/become too busy in their post HS lives to see each other like many do after their first year away. Students shift their sense of home from childhood dwelling to their college town even when living in the dorms and an apartment removes the dependence on the hometown address.</p>
<p>Yea, I’d bet it varies a lot depending on the different families, the student’s personality, financial situations, etc.</p>
<p>Personally, as a fairly independent guy who also needs to earn a wage and build his resume, I worked this summer away from home (no real opportunities there for research) after completing my 1st year of college. No real issues with the transition, and although I do miss seeing my family, I’m getting a lot accomplished (personally and academically) and visit every few months.</p>
<p>NewCanaanLad, no one can know the future…but if you’re in college right now, your parents probably aren’t as old as they seem to you. 
And they probably want the best for you, which includes pursuing good internships, valuable summer work opportunities, etc.</p>
<p>If you’re genuinely worried, you could look first at summer opportunities that are close enough to home that you could visit on weekends. But there are lots of ways to let your parents know they’re loved and appreciated without living in their home every summer.</p>
<p>S spent about 6 weeks at home working after freshman year , the other 4 wks.spent out of town doing required training for coursework. After that summer he has never come home again. I noticed a few of his friends around after soph. yr (but way less than after fresh.yr) and have seen virtually none around town this summer (post jr. yr). All of S’s friends (at several diff. schools) moved off campus (apt/house w/lease) after fresh. or soph yr. so they just stay in their college town and work or go to summer sch. or both.</p>
<p>The normal progression of things is that baby birds grow up, learn to fly, and leave the nest. Speaking as one of the “old birds” - you aren’t supposed to hang around, worrying about whether I’m going to die. You are supposed to go out and start the whole process all over again.</p>
<p>This is one time out of many when leaving brings excitement and growth, along with some sadness at what you leave behind. The only ones who leave without sadness are those who had a truly horrific childhood, or those who are so totally self-centered that they think the universe follows them around.</p>
<p>That sadness doesn’t go away. Ever. Every time I move, I am sad about the neighbors I leave behind, the house full of memories, favorite plants in the yard - big and little stuff. To keep from becoming too melancholy, I have to focus on what I am going to, with hope and expectation.</p>
<p>And the same thing happens when I say goodbye to my children. My oldest came home after freshman year, and also during junior year (although that was a bit different, since we were overseas - so although he was with us - none of us was “home”). It still feels strange to realize he will, barring real unforeseen circumstances - never live at home again. Every time I sign a card on behalf of the family, I have to figure out whether it’s appropriate to include his name or not! Not of our household - but he is always of our family.</p>
<p>Second son spent summer with us after sophomore year only, although we see him for a week or two now and then. But he isn’t planning to ever “live” here long term, either.</p>
<p>D spent most of this summer (after freshman year) with us. I know she’d like to have other plans for future summers. So it’s entirely possibly we will never have another kid living with us long term, ever again. It’s a very strange feeling - a mixture of twinges of sadness, expectation, excitement for them, and curiousity as to where I will go from here. </p>
<p>That’s life.</p>
<p>Wis75’s post describes what happened to us with both our kids. The 12 month lease essentially “gives them permission” NOT to come home! D did sublet a month or two over the summers as she did internships or took class elsewhere. But S who got into his 1st apartment this summer, was really happy to be able to stay in his college town.</p>
<p>In both cases, the high school friends became increasingly less important, and frankly weren’t around anyway. Not to mention it’s not always fun to be living with mom and dad after you’ve had some independence.</p>
<p>D spent her second summer overseas, 3rd summer working on campus…being a theater major, plans on moving home after graduation to begin auditioning! Not sure it will be easy even though we have a close relationship.</p>
<p>Well, then they graduate and things change!</p>
<p>While I am an empty nester, a LOT of the kids my kid grew up with are back home after college. I live in NYC, so that’s part of the reason. There are jobs and graduate programs here, but rents are astronomical. So, a lot of kids, especially those who have big loans, live at home. Those in grad school do too. </p>
<p>Most of these kids did go away to college. Some even worked away for a year or two. But then they decided to go to law school/grad school at NYU, Columbia or Fordham, got a job saving the world at a NGO that doesn’t pay well, or are working for Teach for America or the NYC Teaching Fellows program, etc. So, for a few years they move back.</p>
<p>Our son did not spend the summer at home after soph year. After jr year he was on campus doing research with one of his profs, the next in Pasadena on internship. After graduation this year he moved to SoCal on internship and with grad school starting in a few weeks, something he is now waffleing about.</p>
<p>The cell phone is now our lifeline and we are thinking about linking up with a webcam.</p>
<p>The separation is sad but inevitable considering the profession he has chosen. And with us moving to Tennessee in a few weeks there is no chance that he will be living close to “home”. However it is very gratifying to see him doing great on his own.</p>
<p>It’s ironic how parents and students talk so dramatically about leaving after HS or after the first summer, when we all know that returning home after college or boomeranging is a significant trend now. The segment of students going into IB, engineering, med/law/grad school tend not to return, but a significant percentage of the rest of the population does – whether it’s due to high rent, wanting/needing the ability to job hop, or not having a job lined up right after graduation. Why worry so much about leaving for a few summers – you don’t know if it’s a permanent departure yet.</p>
<p>^^ I agree. Take it one year at a time, glucose. You don’t know yet what the future holds.</p>
<p>I’m not entirely worried, but I just was wondering what everyone else thought about the subject.</p>
<p>There’s a different time for everyone. I had a neighbor when I was kid who never left his parents’ house (commuted to college and is still living in that house in his 60’s, inherited it once his parents died). So that’s the extreme on that end. My own child moved out at age 14 to graduate housing (where the rent is annual, not by the traditional school year) and said he had no plans to ever move back to our house, and so far (three summers included) hasn’t moved back here, though he was planning to take July off from the lab and do some independent contracting work from here for that month to have some time to spend with us, but then he got nominated to co-direct an educational program on campus and accepted the nomination and so only was able to come back here for three weekends in July (still better than nothing)</p>
<p>Between those two scenarios is the more typical coming back summers till finished with college, and also more and more typical, moving back in with the parents after college for years (two of my best friends lived with their parents after college till they got married, and I lived in an apartment on my own during graduate school, but then lived with my parents for about a year before marrying).</p>