Let me tell you a tale...

College Life
1

So this is my first post ever on here, and I just have to get this off of my chest.

The financial aid system here is an absolute joke.

In high school, scholarships were touted constantly as the main way to pay your way through college, well thats all fine and dandy if your odds of getting them weren’t like winning the lottery. I currently go to a Community College because I didn’t want to waste my time at a 4 year place when I wouldn’t even be doing what I wanted to for the first two years, much less have to give up my car which is a whole other headache and…

Maybe I should start from the begining. The very begining.

During high school I wasn’t exactly the best student but I wasn’t exactly the worst either. My GPA was and still is a 3.5, might even be more than that now I’m in college, but I’m very much a lone wolf. I didn’t do any clubs or sports because they just weren’t my thing. I tried don’t get me wrong, but I just didn’t like it. In high school, my step-father was in the military and we were always moving around. So I had to finish my Senior year of high school in the US rather than the place I had been through freshman to junior year. As if that wasn’t hard enough, my Step-father retired and on the week of prom, graduation and cooincidentally my birthday we moved to where I am now.

And I absolutely hate it here.

So for starters because we were busy moving around a lot, I never got to take an ACT or an SAT, which already slashed my college chances in half. I visited the two big 4-year places where I am now (IU and Purdue) and I didn’t like either of them, to somebody who just wants to do their stuff and go home… the whole atmosphere felt very creepy and almost cult-like. I’m from the UK you see, so the American system is already alien to me but that… Moving on, I decided to go to community college and I absolutely hated my freshman year. I had to take these mandatory classes that were supposed to teach you to ‘be a good student’ (but you betcha we had to pay full credit price for them!) but to somebody like me I felt like it was a complete and utter waste of time. Not only that but I found myself wound up in nearly $5,000 worth of debt with virtually no way to pay it off. My parents are what you call ‘rich on paper’ meaning I am not eligible for any financial aid whatsoever. That first year we had to petition to get financial aid and explain to a whole committee of people how my financial situation had changed so much in less than six months. I cried virtually every night from the stress, as I couldn’t find a job either. Finally a break came through and I managed to get a work study position that, if I put 100% of my paycheck into, I could barely pay my monthly payment. So I had a job, I just wasn’t making any actual money from it. That was until an ill-timed payroll error wound up with me nearly taking out a loan, and after some more crying I managed to get that payment from the student emergency fund. Only that little bit of relief was quickly snubbed out when the department I worked for got defunded and I was laid off on the spot at an event I helped put on. It was ironically at this event I got hired the same day by my current employer for a retail job, and the pay was actually better than what the college had offered me with better hours too. Things finally started looking up towards the end of my first semester freshman year of community college when my petition fell through and I not only got a full scholarship for my freshman year, but I was refunded the money I had paid too! I worked through the weekends throughout my second semester freshman year and needless to say I’ve managed to build up a bit of a nest egg in my own savings. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to work a retail job forever, but I’m very thankful to my current employers for hiring me when they did.

Second Semester came around and I switched out of Gen Ed into Cyber Security, which I really did enjoy, heck I even got a qualification out of it! Everything was paid for, everything was good, I was happy.

Third Semester rolls around and now I’m just miserable again. Once more I wasn’t eligable for financial aid, but that was okay, I had enough money saved up from my retail job to pay off my tuition so I didn’t have to worry about that. At first it wasn’t so bad since I was excited to find out I had the same teachers as second semesters, but the content of the classes soon began to bore me to the point of where I don’t think I’ve thought about changing my major so much until these past couple of week past midterm. I miss my English classes, my philosophy classes, etc… but sadly English and Philosophy don’t pay much. They say “Pick a job you enjoy, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life,” and I’ve come to think thats due to the fact you can never get employment in that field. Besides, its too late for me to change majors now with me getting ready to get my associates next semester.

As for my social life, I don’t really have any friends here, not because I’m an anti-social person, but its just easier not to have them. Its not like I don’t have any at all, its just none of them are here, same with my family. I moved here with my mother and step-father and live with them still. To be perfectly honest I wasn’t even thinking about posting this until something happened recently that just sort of pushed me to do it. I got into a car accident in the campus parking lot, its not like its a bad car either, heck by student standards I knew I was lucky to have it (Its a 2012 Prius) plus it was all paid off so the car is completely mine. Now, its just ruined. I’m not afraid of driving it, I’ve already driven it to work, I just don’t want to go to college anymore. As I type this, I’m sitting in class, typing with trembling hands and my legs are numb.

I don’t want to be here, I don’t belong here, I want to leave, and I feel like I’m trapped.

2

You’re in your 3rd semester of a 4 semester degree, right? That doesnt sound “trapped”. Focus on finishing your AA degree.

If your CC has a health care counseling office, go see them. Honestly, you sound like to some extent you are making your own issues. And forget the finding a job you enjoy so it doesn’t feel like work, at least for now. Most of us work jobs to pay the bills.

3

3rd Semester of a 2 year degree correct, and no they don’t have a health care/councilors office either I’m afraid.

That’s sort of why I’m on here, really, I wanted outsider opinions/suggestions.

4

Ok you got it off you chest, but since you posted here, you will probably get some advice in return. You may not like it, but I think you’ll hear some themes throughout.

– If I read your story correctly you are on track to finish an AA degree with no debt – yes, it wasn’t free, but it was all managed in a way that you found a way to pay for. That’s terrific. And you can take that associates degree toward a four-year degree in almost anything, so you are not trapped at all.

– College isn’t for everyone, and classes are to prepare you for a career, not to entertain you. If you hate gonig to college, then finish this year then don’t go on to a four year degree. But you’ll need to count the cost of that choice, since it will rule out a lot of jobs for you. There a plenty that you can do with a two-year or no college degree, but also many that you cannot.

– It’s great when you enjoy what you do, but here is the reality – most people who would say they “enjoy their jobs” don’t actually mean they would do them for free. There are certainly exceptions, but a job is something that you get paid for, and if they could find others to do it for free because it was so much fun, they wouldn’t be paying you. When you here people say “find something you love”, there’s truth to that, but it may be more accurate to say “find something that has elements that you really enjoy and that interest you. That way, many (but not all) days of work will have something (not everything) to look forward to and be personally rewarding.” And most people who do LOVE their work actually love the people they work with as much or more than the task itself. You sound like more of an introvert, which there is nothing wrong with, but you are more unlikely to find your joy in your job from the people. I would encourage you to find a career that seems to be what your good at. The enjoyment may then follow. If you are good at English and enjoy it, then consider journalism or English education – not careers that are a slam dunk for employment or will make a million, but there are a lot of jobs out there for those who are talented and persistent that will make a decent middle class living, and that’s all you need.

– Do you have insurance on your car? If so, then get it fixed. If not, then be thankful it still runs safely, and consider insurance for repairs the next time around (since your step dad was military, you can get USAA). Having a car that is paid off is luxury that fewer than half of Americans enjoy!

– It’s ok to be down and vent. But listen to the advice you get here and take control of your future…nobody else is going to do that for you.

5

It’s not easier to NOT have friends. It’s a way to guarantee that you will isolate yourself more and more, possibly leading to mental health issues, whihc are small potatoes compared to what you have written here.

Your car still goes, right? So it doesn’t look pretty. You have a job. You are in college. You could definitely have it worse. Could you have done your degree in three years in the UK? Do you have permanent residency there? Are you a British citizen? See if any of your credits will transfer to a UK Uni. You can go there and have a degree in your hands in less than three years, and it will probably cost the same as tuition, room and board here.

I understand that you are upset and things are difficult right now, but I do think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Think about ways to address the issues troubling you, because they don’t seem insurmountable. Good
luck.

6

You may not believe it now, but I think you have things pretty good. I agree that you would benefit greatly from counseling.

Sometimes real life is not easy. Even though my husband and I are both structural engineers, one of our cars is a 2007 Ford Focus that has a HUGE dent in the back bumper (my fault) and quite a few other dings and scrapes. We can’t afford a new car with two kids in college, so we live with it.

And we are asking each of our kids to take out about $12,000 in student loans - it’s not unusual for kids to have to work hard to pay off college debt.

7

Assuming you have collision insurance on the car, then you should get the car fixed. Insurance will pay for the repairs except for whatever your deductible is. So if your deductible is $500, then you have to cough up $500 and the car insurance company pays the rest.

It is quite a blessing to have a car that is fully paid off where you don’t have a car payment. Truly.

Our family drives what I would consider beater cars…a 2006 Toyota Highlander with 220,000 miles on it and a 2010 Honda Civic with 152,000 miles on it. You know what I don’t have to do? Fork over $500-$600/month on car payments.

I applaud you for how you’ve been managing your money to pay for community college. That is really smart. You don’t realize this, but you’re already doing a lot of the Dave Ramsey suggestions on how to get out of/how to stay out of debt. Most people never learn this, but you’re already doing it right out of the gates. You should really be proud of yourself. I’m not kidding.

You at least need to finish your AA degree. SOME sort of degree is better than no degree.

Perhaps you’re at the point where you’re wondering, “What do I want to DO with the rest of my life?” Maybe you’re feeling a little burned out. That’s normal. Maybe you’re trying to decide right now between:

  • quit all school and get a job. Without any skills, yes, you will likely end up retail. That gets old fast as a long-term profession.
  • finish your AA degree and then stop attending school for 6-12 months while you figure out what your options are and what you want to do. Work SOME sort of job during that time.
  • while finishing your AA degree, start the application process now to transfer to a 4-yr university. This will require declaring a major.

You mentioned that you really miss your English and philosophy classes. You are correct that English and philosophy degrees typically pay peanuts. Some with English degrees become school teachers, but in most of the US, that doesn’t pay very well, it’s very demanding work, and maybe teaching kids isn’t your thing.

I’m not sure if you’ve considered this, but you COULD go to law school with an English or philosophy degree. You’d have to enjoy or at least tolerate (i.e., be able to do it without being totally miserable) writing papers because English & Philosophy students write a lot of papers. And in law school, you’ll be writing papers until the cows come home.

OR if you’re into technology (you mentioned something about cybersecurity earlier), you could combine the 2 and go into patent law…double major in English or Philosophy and something techie (this would probably take >2 years to complete the 4 yr degree…you’d have to choose your classes wisely & it would likely take you 3 years to get to graduation), and then apply to law school.

The world is your oyster. You can do it. Look at everything you’ve done so far.

8

I agree with previous posts, counseling could really help, as well as meeting with your advisor and career services. Seems like you keep hitting bumps in the road, but your perserverence and commitment show that you are driven and not afraid of hard work. Keep pushing on, use all of the resources at your disposal, you’ve got this!!

9

I agree counseling may help you. Also suggest you sit down and talk with your parents. Are they willing to help you with your education expenses? Talk to them about your goals and what you want to do.

10

Thank you to everyone here whose posted, I honestly didn’t expect this kind of response especially in such a short amount of time!

  • So first off for the car we do have USAA and they have been absolute angels in dealing with this, my family has everything with them from our banking to insurance and we never claim so they know us and we know them. We recently got a quote for repairs and it came to just over $2,000. My mother also recently taped up the car, it doesn't look absolutely stellar, but its better than it was before. As of right now, it looks like it will be getting fixed some time in November. My mother told me this morning she has ordered me a dash-cam, I think that is more for her own peace of mind than anything, but I suppose if anything happens again we will have it on-camera.
    • As for the friend thing, I tried, I really did. I even went out with somebody I thought was a friend from class, however it soon became apparent that he wanted something more than a friend and they weren't ticking any boxes for me. This seems to be a common theme whenever I try to make friends here. In high school I never really had this problem since puberty hit me like a bus, but I had a group of friends I ran with, some of who I still keep in touch with but never any boyfriends, at least in my Junior and Senior years. Then I graduate, we move, I have nothing to do over the summer so I went to the gym every day, next thing I know I'm 10 pounds lighter, my acne leaves me without scars, my freckles fade and BAM! I'm a lady now. I guess I'm not exactly used to the attention to begin with, but when you're just looking for a friend and it seems everyone wants a piece of you when you aren't looking for that... its disheartening to say the least. I'm not saving myself for marriage or anything, I just have different priorities in my life, and as I said before, nobody is ticking any boxes for me. That being said I don't like where my family and I currently live, didn't like it when we were moving still don't like it now. I live in a small town in Indiana and there is very much a small-town mentality either. Having grown up in London, then Stuttgart Germany, then a big Military base after that its very alienating to me. Its not like I hate people entirely, I love the people who I work with, even if it is a retail job but my work is located in the next town over (away from my school and house). As I said before, its easier to just not have them, they just get in the way, or at least the people here do.
    • Unfortunately the only sort of counciling service my school offers is Academic Advising and thats about it, however after speaking to some of my family in the UK they have pointed out it is likely I am still in shock from my accident. Some wished that I even take some sort of time off if you will just to recover. Ironically I am not afraid of driving - I'm just afraid of driving to the school. I'm still very much on edge, as if I'm always expecting something bad to happen at any moment.

-I spoke with one of my teachers and I’ve spoken with my mother, my mother’s advice to me was to stick with it since there are parts of a major you don’t like, and my teacher was quick to point out the reason why people make so much money in programming and networking because absolutely nobody wants to do it due to how hard it is. I’m supposed to be setting up a meeting with my program director tonight to get my classes for next semester so I’ll ask her.

11

There are sure jobs in cyber security if you are good at it.