I think it’s REALLY important to understand that “anxiety” comes in all shapes, forms and levels of intensity. All should be recognized and none should be discounted.
But awareness is really important so as to not assume, judge or “panic” when you learn someone you know might have anxiety issues.
@doschicos - I did a lot of reading and some work with a cognitive behavior therapist. It boiled down to really catching my thoughts even before I became aware of them, in a manner of speaking. And understanding how closely tied my emotions and physical body are. For example, I noticed that if I happened to wipe my nose one morning and had a bloody nose for some reason, I realized that my body actually ratcheted up in a “fight or flight” response before my thoughts even got there. So before I could think logically, because my body gave an automatic response of alarm (pulse quickening, adrenaline rush) my thoughts jumped ahead to “oh my gosh, blood! What is wrong?” and that made my body more tense and voila! a cycle of anxiety started.
Once I started to really really stop and examine my automatic thoughts, I could learn to slow down that whole cycle. IN my example above, I would feel the automatic adrenaline with the discovery of the bloody nose, but I was able to train my head to think a little slower and (sometimes literally) say to myself, “oh, it’s just a bloody nose. Maybe it’s dry in here or maybe I have a bit of allergies. I’ll wait a bit for it to stop.” That stopped the cycle of ratcheting things up. It;s something most people probably do normally but my emotions/anxiety were on a quick trigger for a long time.
That’s an easier example to understand. Often I had free-floating anxiety, that culminated in waves of panic. I learned to stop and identify my automatic thoughts (“on my gosh, I feel horrible, I must be dying, I’ll suffocate”) and then challenge them, in a sort of Socratic way. (“Have I felt this way before? Have I suffocated before? What is more likely, that I am truly in danger or that I am having yet another panic attack?”) Along with other traditional things like deep breathing and relaxation techniques this helped.
When I write it all out my automatic anxious thoughts sound almost silly and the technique sounds too easy. It takes a lot of work and practice. I describe it as feeling like I had to get up out of my seat and move to a different chair philosophically/metaphorically - get a new perspective on my thinking.
Anyway, here’s some background, but there are a lot of great workbooks and reading materials too.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/in-depth-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/
@Marian I agree that there were always and will always be people who suffer. The language has changed, people were said to suffer from nervous exhaustion or shell-shock or hysteria or something. I do think perhaps the situations I described may have helped some people not develop full blown panic or depression. But others would still suffer despite the sunshine and physical activity etc.
My son suffers from anxiety… it always manifests itself in physical pain of some sort: terrible migraines. Severe intestinal/digestive issues that have landed him in urgent care more times than I care to remember. He deals with it OK in the work place – though he still stresses more than the average person – but school continues for him to be difficult.
I don’t know if these disorders are on the rise, but suspect that-- like panic attacks – they finally have a name, recognition and attempts at dealing with them.
I’m grateful I live at an age when mental/psychological/emotional problems are no longer a taboo subject.
A recent book, On Edge, by Andrea Petersen, subtitled A Journey Through Anxiety, is worth reading. She writes for the Wall Street Journal and chronicles her life-long anxieties. She also explores the history and current research on anxiety.
@katliamom, I think a lot of people have similar issues. Certain physical problems – like irritable bowel or migraine – may get worse when the person is stressed or anxious. And then, of course, people worry about that happening, and that leads to increased stress/anxiety, which leads to an increased likelihood that it will happen. It’s a vicious cycle.
I have anxiety and depression. It’s in my genes, I think, since both parents and most of my aunts and uncles are also affected. I think everyone experiences anxiety differently. For me, I tend to feel an inordinate amount of pressure to make the right decision, even when there is not necessarily a wrong decision, and even when the stakes are objectively low. I worry constantly about things that I know are completely outside of my control. And, I tend to want everything to be perfect, so if I am planning a party for example or if I have an important event coming up, I cannot relax until it is over. And then, I can only relax briefly before I start replaying everything in my head and second guess everything I did. The way I deal with my anxiety is to plan and plan and plan. If I know I am going to be expected to make a decision, I research the options to the point of overkill, spend a lot of time considering all the scenarios, solicit a lot of opinions, and eventually I can get to the point where I am somewhat comfortable making a decision. If I’m planning an event, I start months in advance, keep a notebook where I essentially journalize my thought process, make lists, refine my lists, etc., etc. Those coping mechanisms do help with things I know are coming and things I have at least some control over. It’s the things I can’t plan for or have no hope of controlling that stress me out the most.
Forgive me if this question sounds callous or ignorant, but for those of you who come from a family history of anxiety issues, do you think some of it might be learned behavior (nurture) as much as genetics/dna (nature)? Is it possible that if you have family members with anxiety that you didn’t learn through example the coping mechanisms that others might have learned?
Another ignorant question: How is anxiety diagnosed exactly? I mean, don’t all people worry too much, at least if we aren’t slacker types? I guess the difference is the magnitude and whether it consumes your life and ability to function?
For example, in the situation above regarding parties, to me that sounds like being an organized person. I’d do the same and view it as good project management because I would want it to be a nice event. Maybe I have anxiety without knowing I do.
All these symptoms do tend to get jumbled under certain headings. Some decision making issues, eg, could be ADD. Some fears are justifiable.
I hope all who are naming diagnoses are working with a professional.
Dos, we can also look some of this up in the diagnostic manual. Or google, looking for the professional orgs, how they define and test, their criteria.
@doschicos, in my family, I think both nature and nurture are involved. But the nurture goes both ways. While I don’t think my parents necessarily modeled good natural coping devices, they did acknowledge the existence of mental and emotional illness and were willing to get treatment, for example, for my mom’s postpartum depression and for my eating disorder. In contrast, I think my ex-husband’s father has also struggled with anxiety and depression but he has refused and ridiculed professional help or treatment (e.g., therapy or medication). I don’t know if he knows that his son, my ex, has been in treatment off and on for decades. It’s possible that my own father was self-medicating with alcohol. Drinking a little to reduce stress might be okay but I didn’t think it was a good behavior for him to be modeling. It distressed me.
As to your question about diagnosis, I think that’s difficult with mental and emotional illnesses. Much of it has to rely on self-reporting of symptoms in contrast to measurable things that can be determined by lab tests. But if, for example, someone says that her rumination or sadness or rapid heartbeat or stomach aches cause her to do or not do things that interfere with her life to an unpleasant extent, that seems like a valid sign of anxiety or depression.
Ive been told it’s biochemical for those of us that have it in their genes, and I believe that to be true. I never really thought about whether nurture plays a role, but I really tend to doubt it.
It’s normal to worry of course. Maybe my party planning example wasn’t the best way to illustrate. With anxiety, the worry is excessive and disproportionate to the point of being all-consuming and totally distracting. The things you worry about are often not even remotely likely to occur, and it’s hard to reason your way out of the fear that they might. When I’m at my most anxious, I experience physical symptoms. I can feel my heart racing and a warm feeling washes over my body. Sometimes I’ll get a headache or an upset stomach.
Thank you all for sharing your personal experiences and answering my questions.
Wow, just met a patient today who has anxiety and a chronic breathing condition, which makes a tough combo. He was happy to meet people who are living well with the same health condition and is now reassured it’s not a death sentence.
That does sound like a tough combo, @HImom!
He mentioned that his heart races when he gets anxious as well. He’s still adjusting to his breathing diagnosis and being told he can no longer work because it’s too hard with his lung condition.
There are many different kinds of anxiety. The kinds of anxiety that people here seem to be talking about are the kinds that interfere with the normal activities of life.
I have had pretty severe anxiety since I was 14 with mostly physical symptoms: big adrenaline rush, shaking, heart racing, etc. when I was speaking in public. It was humiliating. I tried to deal with it for 15 years, but finally got an Rx for a beta blocker (they block the release of adrenaline) which worked miracles and I was able to speak in public for the first time without the embarrassing physical symptoms. After I used the med a few times, I got more comfortable and confident, and I was able to speak in public without taking it. I never enjoyed it, but I was able to do it without looking like a fool.
Then, I started peri-menopause and started having excessive worries and rambling thoughts and also had one horrible panic attack that was about 100 times worse than any of my earlier anxiety attacks. I honestly felt like I was going to die and made my H take me to the ER. I had very bad physical symptoms (heart racing, hyperventilating, severe chills), but I was also mentally convinced I was dying, when I never had that feeling when I was younger. I also developed a fear of flying when I had flown all over the world for years without a care. I haven’t flown in about 8 years.
I started having random “adrenaline rushes” out of nowhere sometimes daily for weeks on end. Usually at bedtime when I was reading or watching TV calmly not worrying about anything. I developed some heart issues as my heart would beat irregularly, or would race for hours after I got the “rush”. I’ve been to the ER several times and was diagnosed with SVT, a kind of abnormal tachycardia. I also have a minor defect of one of my heart valves (MVP - Mitral Valve Prolapse) that is not supposed to be of any concern, but anxiety is also associated with the condition. Medical professionals can’t quite explain why this happens. But they think it could be related to a type of autonomic dysfunction condition as noted in #4 (but a different kind than EDS). It may not be “anxiety” at all, the adrenaline rushes and tachycardia might be a physiological thing, but then how do I explain the fact that I have both physical and mental symptoms. It’s a complicated thing.
Both sides of my family have had mental health and heart issues. My Mom went off the rails also emotionally when she went through menopause, so I know that hormones, along with genetics are factors that have played a role in my anxiety.
I think people who don’t have anxiety should try to understand that there is a difference in being stressed or worried and real anxiety. Anxiety can be crippling and affect a person’s ability to function in daily life. Looking back, I really have no clue how I managed to push through the embarrassment and humiliation that my anxiety caused me when I was young - I suffered through high school, college, and the first part of my career with it. Yet in normal social situations I was perfectly fine. I had a relatively normal life and lots of friends and got along well with my co-workers. But I think if I had been just a bit less motivated or a little less able to just “shrug off” those embarrassing incidents, things could have been much different for me. I might have given up and never graduated from college or persisted in my career. I empathize so much with the students on CC who suffer with anxiety - I know how hard it can be to carry on with everyday life while feeling like you’re being chased by an ax murderer. That’s seriously how it was and is with me - the physical and mental reactions to simple life tasks and events (and sometimes nothing at all) are absurdly exaggerated, and exhausting.
Add me to the list. I’ve had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. Some of its genetic most likely (my mom took “pep pills” when I was a kid) and some is epigenetics (she was suicidal when pregnant with me and prayed to miscarry). Some is probably related to the incest - anticipating the assault whenever we visited that relative.
I remember as a little kid worrying that my grandparents would die whenever I slept at their home on weekends to the point that I laid awake for hours. It’s still easy for me to worry and ruminate.
The anxiety causes a host of medical issues that come and go. Bladder spasms and varicose veins of the bladder. An eczema patch on the back of my neck. Postmenopausal bleeding. Gastrointestinal stuff- my doc always assumes stress and anxiety before seeking a physical cause.
I do a lot of self talk and have learned that working out at the gym is a good distraction.
I have some signs of anxiety from time to time. I tend to worry a lot, especially about the wellbeing of my children. One of my grandmothers was very anxious. She would lock herself in her bedroom for fear of intruders, worry about poisoning, both unientional and unintentional, and she thought I might get a heart attack at age 8 from riding my bike uphill. One time a skier was killed several states away and she convinced herself it was my dad. It seems a little silly, but I will sometimes catch myself carastrophizing in the middle of the night too.
The only time I remember having an anxiety attack was a time that I was scrambling on a side of a mountain, and I just froze, I was petrified. No way to keep going, no way to go down, I was going to die either way. Don’t look down! But I made a choice and kept going, there was no other option. Obviously, I didn’t die. It made me wonder if that was what an anxiety attack is like, and if so, how that could completely derail someone’s life.
I know, for older women, that bioidentical hormones can really help with lack of confidence, nervousness, and many other symptoms. Testosterone for women is really wonderful, stabilizing your mood, building confidence and just overall feelings of well being.