<p>I’ve been thinking about this for several months, and my soon-to-be college freshman son brought it up last night: What can we do about a pet suffering the “loss” of a favorite human? </p>
<p>We have an emotionally fragile (I know, but he was taken too early from his mother) cat who adores our son. They have some little habits and rituals they follow each day, while son is up late watching TV, early in the morning, etc. Our son is by far his favorite person, though cat will come to me and my husband. Cat isn’t very well-behaved, generally – he acts suspicious and doesn’t trust most people.</p>
<p>Any suggestions to help me avoid further feline damage come September?</p>
<p>I hesitated to post publicly because I am a retailer in the pet industry and my suggestion is a specific product that I think is worth a shot. </p>
<p>Comfort Zone / Feliway by Farnam is a species specific (either dog or cat, although there is some anecdotal information that suggests the dog version is also good for pet birds) phernome spray or plug-in diffuser that emits phernomes analgous to those emitted by the mother animal. The product is recommended for use in reducing anxiety and anxiety related behaviors including inappropriate elimination or urination, etc. </p>
<p>It’s not inexpensive, but my repeat sales of the refills suggest that it is very effective.</p>
<p>Chicken liver (or whatever the cat adores–for my cats, it’s chicken liver). Designate the cat’s new favorite person and have that person–and only that person–hand feed tiny bits of chicken liver at regular intervals–in a very quiet calm situation.</p>
<p>We have two cats, and one is totally attached to me (ok, and I’m pretty attached to her…I admit it). When I leave for long weekends at friends’ beach houses or whatever, she sits and cries at the door to my room, all day, every day. So I feel for your cat, and your son, because I’ll bet they’ll miss each other!</p>
<p>My parents are trying to lessen the blow by being more friendly to her, and trying to get her to get attached to another family member. She is very shy, but most animals respond to really gentle, constant attention. Your cat will grow on someone else if they make the effort…</p>
<p>After our older son left for college, we bought a puppy to be a companion for our older son’s dog. It was a rough transition for a couple of months but it turned out great - for our dog and for the rest of the family who also missed our older son. Now our only “problem” is how sad our older son is when he has to leave his pets!</p>
<p>I’m worried about my own dog, too. I found him as a stray in NM, so I’m the first person he’s known who has kept him and not hurt him. I’ve had him for 5 years now, so he’s getting older (he’s about 7-8 now, he’s a German Shepherd/Lab mix). He has not problem with other people in the family, he loves everyone, but I’m the one he runs to when he gets scared and he sleeps with me at night. Whenever I leave, he sits by the door and waits. When I went to school it would take him a few weeks to get into the routine, but he knew when I left and that I’d be coming home and he would sleep in my bed most of the morning and then wait for me at the door to come home. Whenever I’ve spent the night somewhere, he’ll sit by the door and cry. My university isn’t far, but I decided to live on campus, so we’re worried how he’ll take it.</p>
<p>When I left for college many, many years ago, my cat missed me. Her solution seemed to be to adopt my bed for her new sleeping place. My parents said that was where she usually slept after I left, although she had not slept there often before.</p>
<p>The other day I noticed that my husband had dropped one of his sweatshirts on the floor. Our dog, who adores dh, was curled up with her head on the sweatshirt. So maybe giving the cat some piece of your son’s clothing, that can be used as a bed, would help.</p>
<p>I do remember when I got home for Thanksgiving my freshman year, my cat came running out to greet me!</p>
<p>SuNa, we had that problem - sort of. Have had our cat for 11 years - I found him in the street one day when he was a lost kitten. He was and is very attached to D - sleeps in her hair, follows her everywhere, even into the bathroom, even waits beside the shower when she’s in it - anyway, when she left for college, he simply transferred his loyalty and started following me everywhere, sleeping with me, etc. Then, when she came home for breaks, he would forget all about me and glue himself back to her. </p>
<p>Still, she would call him and talk to him a lot, etc. When she moved off campus, I drove him to her, and now he’s very happy as they’re back together - so - I would recommend just having all the other people in the household pay extra special attention to your cat, and I know it sounds absurd, but, have your son call him and talk to him. Last, if the house is going to be empty during the day, consider leaving a television on for him - the sound of human voices even via television might be comforting.</p>
<p>We had a situation much like LTS. My Ds dog, a rescued boxer mix that had been abused, was and is very attached to her. This dog followed her everywhere, slept in her bed, only would eat when she fed it, etc. When she left for college, we were afraid he literally would not make it. As it turned out he transfered his attention to me and now sleeps in my bed, etc. However, when she does get home I am again 2nd banana! One thing I did do when she first left was to leave her linens unchanged for a couple weeks and put some worn tshirts on her bed, for a while when he seemed at a lost I would find him curled on her bed.</p>
<p>My family faced this kind of issue too with my golden retriever. She came from a “broken” home (couple divorced) and behaved pretty much like a puppy when we got her as a 2 1/2 year old. I took charge of her training from housebreaking to obedience to agility. So basically, I gave her lots of TLC over six years (but my dad will claim that he kept her alive by feeding her breakfast!).</p>
<p>When I went off to Brown for the summer between my junior and senior years, she had a bit of rough time- looking for me and just feeling sad. When I came back after seven weeks, she was much quieter and not as hyper so I figured that she was kind of upset that I had “abandoned” her. So during my senior year, my mom and my brother tried to step in a bit by spending more time with her while I finished my applications. </p>
<p>What I have discovered after moving 2-3 times is that she does do okay after a while but won’t get up to say good-bye IF she sees me running up and down the stairs with big bags and boxes. Last time I left her outside while moving stuff into the car and she didn’t know that I was going to leave for school again so she actually came up to say good-bye as she usually does when we go out to do errands. It’s quite pathetic to see her looking very sad because she won’t hug!</p>
<p>So try that trick- don’t let the pet see your son move his stuff and act as if he’s going out for an errand. Otherwise, really try to keep things normal at home. There is only so much that a person can do to help with the pet’s loss of a human friend.</p>
<p>It’ll be interesting to see how my dog reacts to my living away from home. She knows that I am usually the one who feeds her and I’m the one who takes her for walkks (when she hears the word “walk” she immediately looks at me. If I’m not in the room, she runs to my bedroom door). When I’m not home, I’m told that she sleeps on my bed. But, there have been a couple of times when I’ve been gone for more than a week, and she neglected me for a few days after returning home, as if she was mad at me. My dog is very outgoing and friendly and is attached to my parents as well, but I’m just worried that she’ll be different towards me after I leave home.</p>
<p>They will hug you in their doggy way when you get home, really friendly, but then they may step back and wonder…bring a bribe when you get home!!! a new stuffed toy or frisbee or whatever, and when you are home and pay attention, lots of it</p>
<p>dogs are very forgiving, and when you leave, make sure who ever is still at home IMMEDIATELY plays or rubs their belly, so that you leaving is okay!!!</p>
<p>this is a great bittersweet thread, by the way</p>
<p>I’m so glad there is a thread for this. I was thinking about this issue the other day! I love and adore my cat, and worry if he’ll miss me when I leave. However, I think cats handle a loss better than dogs too, because they are more independent and differ in personalities than dogs. My friend who owns a golden retreiver use to play a trick on the dog–she would be playing with the dog, then hide in the closet and the dog would suddenly wimper and wine because he thought she left! He was soo cute…however I’m hoping cats handle such things better</p>
<p>I think it’s unfair of you to blame your cat’s insecurity and attachment issues on its absent mother; I think that its time that Cat took some responsibility for himself and learned to face a harsh reality: life is flux. Once Cat can embrace this mantra, any soul parting will fit with a fluid understanding of the fabric of life.</p>
<p>sorry don’t have suggestions but my Ds cat used to get p<em>i</em>s<em>s</em>y because she would work at a residential camp all summer when she was in high school.
One summer we could’t find her for days, and discovered she was living up the street sleeping on a neighbors porch.
We brought her back home, but she kept going up there- he gave her water, but no food.
FUnny thing- when weather got cooler she came back home- she never did tell us what the attraction was</p>
<p>Be sure your pet doesn’t escape into the bottle or start having cheap affairs. Encourage outside activities like trampling a neighbor’s garden, chasing cars or howling in the middle of the night.</p>
<p>I’ve found online obediance courses to be a great distraction.</p>
<p>Our dog is more attached to me then my son. My son adores him though and in fact, I think he will miss the dog more then us. When we were doing our pluses and minuses for the various colleges for him to chose from, one of the pluses of my daughters school was that there were a couple of dorms with dogs. I guess they are owned by the resident assistants. I think dorms with dogs would be very appealing for some homesick freshman!</p>