<p>PsychomomTx, dear heart, thank you for posting, we are all parents here and all of our children have put themselves at risk at one time or another in college and some have had true battles with substance abuse of many forms…but most of our kids and even most of us have done harmful things under the influence at some time or another. Your son was under the influence…which means he made decisions that were impaired and it is so unfair that he didn’t live long enough to attempt real recovery later on.<br>
We are so sorry that he is gone but he would want you to stay with the living and feel the help that is nearby for you now and also in the coming year. You would be present for anyone you cared for who lost a son or daughter…so allow everyone to be present for you. select a professional and go, or find a group and use it as well.<br>
again, as mothers and as fathers we have a clue as to the depth of your loss and pain …we ache for you and want you to find release and solace</p>
<p>I lost a close dear friend to a violent death when I was 30 and over time I realized that the what ifs and the going over the events that preceded her losing her life…were ways I was still keeping the possibilities of her staying with me…as if I ever had the power to alter things that were simply never my fault or in my power to control…nevertheless, my mind stayed in that phase of what ifs a long time, so it was simply what I had to do for a while. I did reach a place where although I admit to being still angry at times with our Maker…I realized that the beauty of her life far outshone and in fact completely eclipsed the event of her death.
I keep her life and the great good of her life, and the memory of how much pleasure she got from each day of her life forward in my mind at all times now. This took time.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you are going through. The choices your son made were not your fault. As a parent you can only do so much. </p>
<p>Please get grief counseling for yourself and your family when you are ready. Don’t go through this alone.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your loss. Your posting will save someone’s life. It will also remind many of us to express our love to our family and friends now, not later. Our lives can change in an instant through no fault of our own. May you find some peace eventually, a support group can help when you are ready. Blessings to you.</p>
<p>I’m so so sorry about the loss of your beloved son. I can’t imagine losing a child. I don’t even know what to say. What a tragedy. I hope you don’t blame yourself. You raised him well, and he got off track. I’m so sorry he didn’t have more time to turn things around. It sounds like he was trying to.</p>
<p>I am so very terribly sorry for your loss. There is no easy path to bringing our children into adulthood and all any of us can hope to achieve is the ability to look in the mirror and say, “we did the best we knew to do at the time.” and live in that peace. None of us are immune. And so this is what I’ve done:</p>
<p>I’ve printed off your original post and tomorrow I am going to ask my son to read it and share what he thinks… what he would have us do if the issues were ours. And so I thank you for sharing. Sometimes these conversations do not come organically without sounding like we don’t trust or are simply nagging to deaf ears. It is my hope that he is coming to a place in his life where the consequences of others will impact his choices more and more before they become either his own or someone else’s who he is close to. You helped me to better parent today for tomorrow. It’s appreciated.</p>
<p>Again, I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart truly breaks for your entire family.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son. I am sure that the courage it took to post here will prompt some other parent/brother/sister/friend to intervene in the life of a loved one who is not making good decisions. Please know that you can come back here any time and you will not be judged. My prayers are with you and your family.</p>
<p>You are such a brave person to post this during such a traumatic time and I will never forget it. I hope you feel all of our prayers for you and your beautiful family.</p>
<p>I couldn’t read past “they found him dead.” It felt like the end of the world. Keep going. Hopefully one day it will get easier. It must be so hard. I am so sorry.</p>
<p>I am so very sorry for your loss… I know you can’t believe it now but time provides a powerful cure. It will be OK again, just not till time passes. Hang in and take care of yourself.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry for your loss of your sweet boy. There was nothing you could have done.<br>
I will remember your family in prayers for strength and healing.</p>
<p>my deepest sympathy to you, your husband and dtr. support one another to get thru this horrible time, remember the blessing your son was for his short life and find comfort in the good memories you have of him and try to let go of the bad memories of this past year. I will keep you in my prayers and hope peace and comfort can find its way to you all.</p>
<p>How incredibly hard it must have been to write here. Perhaps one, perhaps many, will be deterred from driving under the influence because you had the courage to write.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you will find peace remembering your dear son in happy times.</p>
<p>I am so saddened by your loss.
Try to take it step by step, moment by moment, day by day. The feelings of guilt and regret don’t mean that you did anything wrong! Those feelings are just by products of your grief. Remember that you gave your son a wonderful life, a life filled with love and opportunity.</p>