<p>OP
I cried so hard while reading your passage. It reminds me of my brother who died while attending a top university Phd program 25 years ago. His death provoked my father’s cancer because he was so saden by passing of my brother and he subsequently died after fighting it several years later. My brother was the star in our family with straight A grades thoughout his short life.</p>
<p>What I want to say is that you should contain yourself in the sadness You can celebrate life and moan on death, however, it is not worth it to put in your life after your son’s death like my father did.</p>
<p>Thanks you so much for having the courage to write here. Your post may help another parent here to speak to their child, and maybe save their life. </p>
<p>You handled your son’s issues in the best way you knew how. You loved him and wanted the best for him. He knew you didn’t approve of what he was doing, but kids think they’re invincible. It was not your fault. My brother went thru something similar to your son, and at one point was living in his car. Somehow he survived and is ok today, but my parents could have easily been in your shoes.</p>
<p>Hugs to you, your husband, your daughter and your entire family.</p>
<p>I, too, am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that you, your husband and your daughter will be able to be gentle with yourselves as you face this incredibly difficult time.</p>
<p>One of my very best friends has struggled with her son’s drinking and marijuana use since he was in junior high school. I have watched her do her very best for years, and yet his behavior has only gotten worse. It is so true that there are limits to what even the most loving and caring parents can do. You loved your son with all your heart and did the best for him that you could. That is all that any of us can do. My heart breaks for you.</p>
<p>Thank you for being brave enough to write, and post while all of this is so new. What a heartbreaking year you’ve had. Struggling back to a sense of your own life is going to be a process, and I wish you and your family the best in this journey. There is a group called Compassionate Friends that you may want to find at some point.
Your story could be mine, could be any of ours. Hugs and much sympathy. I already read this to my D, in the hopes that your story might add perspective to what she sees at her college with alcohol use.</p>
<p>So deeply sorry for you and your family, I wish you peace in the days, weeks and months to come. A favorite quote from poet, James Kavanaugh- This Above All</p>
<p>“…do not try relentlessly to understand.
Time itself will decide.
There will be stars enough
When clouds and neon lights do not hide them.
Do not be sad. It has been written for you:
Your joy will come when it is time.
But this above all: Walk easy on the earth!”</p>
<p>Received word about an hour ago that the boy riding in the backseat behind the driver has passed away… I learned a bit about the boy from his mother, with whom I spoke just a couple of hours before he died… he was an engineering honors student at S’s university. His girlfriend, who was killed, was a psych major. So tragic and so unspeakably horrible. and the driver’s condition is only getting worse and worse, he has almost zero brain activity. </p>
<p>Of course I am grieving for my son and have not stopped crying for one minute, but I feel so sorry for EVERYONE involved. The driver as well as his parents must feel terrible. I can’t believe this is happening. This was so senseless and I can’t accept that these kids died in such an unnecessary way. This didn’t have to happen. </p>
<p>Thank you ALL so much for your condolences and pieces of advice during this difficult time… now for another night of sleeping for two hours in fits… <strong><em>sigh</em></strong></p>
<p>Dear PsychoMomTX, when reading your post the last thing I though I was going to read was the death of your son. I have no words. I am sitting here in tears. You have my most profound sympathy and you, your husband and daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry that you lost your son in such a senseless, tragic accident. I sincerely hope you will someday have some peace again and can hold happier memories of your son in your heart.</p>
<p>No words. As others have said, I’m so sorry to read about your loss and that you and your loved ones must endure this right now, even though you and I are not even acquaintances. I hope you find the strength to continue and to remember your dear son in the best way possible. I’m sure you’re holding your husband and daughter extra close right now–send my best cyber wishes to them too! Good luck, and hang in there.</p>
<p>You are on my mind at this late hour and I hope you are O.K. I just read your post regarding the other kids in the vehicle and the consequences of this one incident in time will change the course of so many lives forever. My heart breaks for all of the kids and their parents, siblings and friends, it must seem so surreal right now. So many kids go through these difficult times and yet they come out of it to live fine and productive lives. I think about the 60’s and 70’s, a time when kids turned on and literally fell out and yet so many moved on to find their way and lead productive lives. I wish you would have had that opportunity to see your son get past this period. I hope you will start to get some support very soon. The groups that others have mentioned could be a very good beginning for you and your family. Hugs to you right now if you are awake.</p>
<p>OMG, OP, I am so,so terribly sorry. This is absolutely tragic. If your brother had issues with alcohol is is quite possible your s was genetically predisposed too. Please, please do not blame yourself. You did everything you could. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.</p>
<p>Echoing the feelings and thoughts of everyone here. I pray for all. You are stronger than you realize at this moment. I am humbled at your courage to write.</p>
<p>Although there’s nothing I can say to ease your pain, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear son. This was a tragic accident, one you couldn’t possibly have prevented. Someone earlier on this thread suggested contacting Compassionate Friends when you can. They will be able to understand and help you in a way few others can. Keeping all of you in my prayers.</p>