Letting our 18 yr. old plan her trip to Europe?--Help!

Parent Cafe
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<p>After much consideration and discussion, DH and I bought our lovely daughter a long-requested ticket to Europe…Paris, specifically…so that she can backpack/hostel around with her normally wise and mature boyfriend. She is 18, just graduated, and this is a sort of graduation present/reward for her four years of hard work. There have been some very tough times for her, both academically and socially, and she rose to the challenge in each situation and we are quite proud of her. </p>

<p>The understanding is that they (D and the BF) will use their own funds to fund train tickets, hostel charges, food and museum-type entry fees. We (and BF’s parents) paid for plane tickets, which are quite cheap right now (we paid $922 including taxes/fees to Paris.) Money is not really an issue here. Initially they said they wanted to visit two or three countries within the allotted time frame of 2 weeks. They asked to do their own planning, and it was clear they did not want our input. Part of the fun, they said, was planning their own trip.</p>

<p>This is where it gets sticky. Other than planning two nights in Paris (the night they arrive and the following night,) they want to get themselves to Italy ASAP and spend most of the time there. Here are our issues:</p>

<p>1) We have paid for a plane ticket to Paris. If they really wanted to go to Italy, we should have continued shopping for plane tickets since they’re looking at using at least $300 for a Eurail pass to get to Italy.</p>

<p>2) EVERY online forum/blog/post I read says to avoid Italy in late July and August due to the heat. Guess when they’re travelling? July 29-August 12. I read that Italy basically shuts down and goes on their own holiday. Italy is also not youth-hostel/friendly and, I feel, as safe as other countries such as Germany, England or Switzerland. Why they have their hearts set on Italy I don’t understand, but they do.</p>

<p>Our choices are:</p>

<p>1) Forbid them to go to Italy. Tell them which countries they can pick from. They will be very upset (both of them) and I don’t want this to leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth for the rest of our lives.</p>

<p>2) Let them go to Italy (they say they want to go all the way to Pompeii…WAY south and WAY hot and silly for someone who originally flew in to Paris to try to visit.) They will probably not have a very good trip but they will have “learned a lesson.”</p>

<p>3) This is where I get iffy – should we tell them they can go to Italy but limit how far south they can travel…Florence, for example, which is still too hot but should give them all of the Renaissance-fix that they want, at least…</p>

<p>I welcome anyone’s opinion/advice.</p>

<p>Thanks–</p>

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<p>Are you concerned about the money, or about them having a good time? If the former, I think if this is how they want to spend their money, and it sounds like they have money to spare, then let them do it. And if it’s the latter, then definitely let them do it. They’re a couple of young people in love, in Europe. They’ll have fun no matter where they go, and I’m sure Pompeii will be interesting even if it’s hot and full of tourists. And if they end up spending the whole time in air-conditioned souvenir shops and eating gelato–well, that’s still fun, and it’s better than them resenting you during an event that sounds like it’s a wonderful gift.</p>

<p>If there were some other reason, like they wanted to go somewhere you felt was unsafe, things might be different. But I say let them have the trip they want to have.</p>

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<p>No, it’s not the money. She has quite a bit saved up, and we’ve already bought her ticket. Thank you for this response. And I do worry about safety, always. Maybe Italy just wouldn’t be my first choice. But every guide book says that Italy is NOT the place to visit in the summer, due to the high temperatures. I guess I see it as flying to San Francisco then getting on a train to get over to Miami…in August!</p>

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<p>I did a family vacation in Italy (from Rome north) in July and it was fun. Sure, it was hot but not that bad, but we survived and all the monuments, history, and food are still there despite the heat. It’s even a good excuse (in my mind) to eat Gelato more than once per day! There are millions of Italians that manage to live through the summer there just fine. You could have fooled me on the tourists thinning out since there were plenty wherever we went. Frankly, I’ve had it just as hot in DC in the summer.</p>

<p>Regarding the cost - does it really make much difference if they fly in/out of Paris and then go to Italy vs. flying in/out of italy and then going to Paris (assuming they want to see paris also)?</p>

<p>Italy really isn’t far from France, in fact it borders it.</p>

<p>IMO Italy is well worth visiting as are so many other countries there. They might want to consider a bit more of a circuitous route from Paris to Germany to Switzerland to Italy then back to Paris or at least Switzerland then Italy. It all depends on how they like to travel and if they want to spend a lot of time in a single place or get more of a taste of many places.</p>

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<p>I would not worry- my youngest daughter recently returned from a three month trip around India ( she turned 19 while she was there)
She has heat sensitivity and has gotten very ill during summer soccer camps in Seattle- however she had a fantastic time and loved it. ( she did get heat rash- but survived)
Look on the bright side- you won’t have to listen to them complain ;)</p>

<p>Personally I think Italy sounds much more inviting than France.</p>

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<p>Have them go to the local STA Travel office. They specialize in student travel and can help book train tickets and obtain discount cards.</p>

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<p>Okay, I’m feeling better already. I’m trying so hard not to micromanage this. ucla_dad, how far south did you go on your trip? And does that make a huge difference, weather wise? I guess I’m still considering limiting her trip geographically…</p>

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<p>On safety - whether in Paris or in Italy they need to keep their wits about them and realize there are thieves who target tourists so they should not be too loose with their luggage (keep it close), they should be careful with their cash and passports, not have an easily grabbed purse, etc. When crowds get close and people start bumping they should especially on guard. If they’re approached by some poor looking woman with a baby they should also be on guard that it’s a setup (and don’t give them a handout). I’d give the same advice for anywhere but certainly there.</p>

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<p>In my opinion, the big decision was letting them go on this trip. You are fine with the trip. I don’t see the big deal over the Italy part really. I realize it seems silly to get a ticket to France if they are mostly gonna be in Italy but on the other hand, they are also going to see Paris and so if they wanted to see these two countries, it was half of dozen of one or the other as to which one they flew into. It is not like going from San Fran to Miami as it is not thousands of miles apart. I can’t see now saying that Italy is off. They are paying for this part of the trip expense. It is not as if Italy is unsafe in any manner more so than France. As far as how hot it will be, they are no dummies. If they saw the temperature for that time of year and still want to go, who cares? Their decision. If they realize it was too hot, nothing so terrible about that. My daughter is working in Europe this summer. I’m going over to travel with her for a week around the time your D is going. I never thought much about the weather. But then again, I just got back from the Caribbean. Frankly, hot weather sounds neat to me right now as we have not had hardly any summer weather where we live this year.</p>

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<p>

We went as far south as Rome on that trip and yes, I think it’d get hotter further south but probably not much hotter since it was plenty hot in Rome. Between Rome, Florence, Venice, Pisa, Cinque Terra, Siena, Milano, Tuscany, the northern mountains, and other places, there’s probably more than enough to keep them busy in just the northern part.</p>

<p>If they get too hot they can just turn it around and head up into Switzerland, Austria, Germany, and then back to Paris. btw - one time when we went to Paris it was very hot (abnormally for there) just like it sometimes is in NYC or Atlanta so it’s tough to predict.</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone. I think I’ll back off…for now. I am very aware of the safety problems, particularly having to do with pickpockets and such. We’ve been to Notre Dame! Anyway, I need to move past the heat issue (hard for me…we live in Texas) and let her know I am here for her if she needs help booking hostels in Italy.</p>

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<p>We have been to Italy many times in June and July, as a family. We have also spent time in Paris in Aug. The whole Europe shuts down in Aug - Paris, Barcelona, Florence…Has your daughter ever traveled outside of US? What about her BF?</p>

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<p>My middle aged brain protested about flying into Paris to go to Italy and then I began to remember 18… let them do it, no matter how hot they will have a trip to remember! </p>

<p>We were in Italy and Greece in July many years ago and yes it was hot but they won’t mind that at their age. I agree that safety concerns should not be greater in Italy than in France. Hope they have a wonderful time!</p>

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<p>Well, I’ve heard that “Europe shuts down in Aug” but I’m not sure what that means. I don’t think the Vatican Museum shuts down, does it? Are you speaking of shops, restaurants, etc? And yes, both have been to Europe. Her BF has been to Italy twice.</p>

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<p>If it’s too hot for them in southern Italy, they’ll catch a train and go to the alps. They sound responsible enough to figure things out. And the limits you’re thinking of imposing have little justification other than “for their own good”, which begs non-compliance.</p>

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<p>I lived in Italy for 4 years. It is hot in the summer, but not any hotter than Texas (multiple family members there). And at 18 I suspect they won’t care. </p>

<p>I made a little shoulder bag that held my passport, small wallet with $ and ID. If I was in a crowd or felt at all unsafe, I could just hang it around my neck and slip it under my shirt. I still use it.</p>

<p>They should beware of two riders on a motor bike - they drive by and pull or cut the strap on purses/bags and are gone before you can react.</p>

<p>Many Germans and other Europeans, including Italians, take vacation during the month of August. But many “tourist” things are open, including museums, restaurants, and most things they would enjoy. I wouldn’t worry about that.</p>

<p>Having said all that, I never felt unsafe.</p>

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<p>Yes, once you have agreed for her to travel to Europe, it really doesn’t matter whether she wants to spend her time in France or Italy. They are all the same in Aug. Only you would know if they are responsible or worldly enough to figure things out.</p>

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<p>I’ve been to Italy – as far south as Positano – several times in July and August. The heat is about the same as any US city in the summer. Not a big deal. (Though Pompeii was sizzling.)</p>

<p>The museums don’t close, though some of the restaurants do. There is no shortage of hostels and cheap eats in Italy and I wouldn’t worry about safety either. In other words, givings, relax! Exhale. You’ve been a generous and concerned parent; now let these young people plan their own two week trip.</p>

<p>Part of the fun of travel is letting serendipity take you where it will. A case could be made for two weeks in France – or even Paris – but drifting into Italy sounds good too. </p>

<p>My only caveat would be that they should reserve tickets for the major museums both in Italy and in Paris as lines can be overwhelming.</p>

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<p>I’m from the UK and I have interrailed (the UK equivalent of eurail) in Italy in both winter and summer. Yes, it’s hot- it’s summer! Italy is perfectly safe, but like any tourist destination, there are precautions you should take such as watching your bag at all times, not carrying all your money with you etc. I’ve never felt unsafe there and I honestly think that your daughter sounds very smart and sensible, so let her go.</p>

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<p>Italy is way more interesting than France. Just my opinion. In fact my naturally cautious son is planning a trip to Europe for next summer with his girlfriend. He just wants to stay in England/Scotland/Ireland. Paris was too edgy for him. :(</p>

<p>I kept trying to tempt him with a quick trip to Paris. He kept saying he wasn’t interested. Then his girlfriend said, yeah, a trip to Paris sounds good. Now he’s willing to go to Paris, so I’m working on him to make it to Italy. ;)</p>

<p>I LOVE Italy; grime, crime, heat, all of it. It’s a great, exciting, amazingly interesting place. My son is so hesitant to push his comfort boundaries. How did he get like that? I’d love to have the OP’s problem!</p>