License but not allowed to drive??? Please help!

Parents Forum Parent Cafe
#1

<p>Im a extremely frustrated with my mother. My mom did not want to pay for drivers' ed, and she suggested I learn driving every day with a family member throughout the whole of last summer. I agreed and I drove every single day for three months, and graduated to the highway by the end. In the state that I live in, the requirements for a license are having a permit for one year and passing the road test. At the end of the summer I passed the road test with flying colors and I was so excited to have the freedom to drive.....but my MOM SAID NO!. </p>

<p>Now this was last August. I have driven since then with my friends, my stepdad and my brother but she still will not me drive even to the convenience store down the street alone. She will not drive with me alone in the car either! She claims that she will let me drive whenever I want when I take a two one hour lessons with a driving instructor. The thing is, these are about 150 dollars an hour, and she brought it up in December! And I already know how to drive!! What is the difference?</p>

<p>I have never gotten in to any driving trouble wth her, the only excuse she has for not letting me drive is that she has to be comfortable. I am reduced to sitting at home all day while on break, and depending on her for a trip to CVS. It is degrading and I feel like she is trapping me here. I am about to turn 18 and get an adult license, but I am still in this position. Can you please help me understand why my mother is being such a warden??</p>

#2

<p>Could she be concerned about the cost of the increased insurance?</p>

#3

<p>I hate to say it, but save your money and take the drivers course your mom wants you to take. Maybe she will give it to you as a birthday present or something like that. Keep in mind...parents are under no obligation to allow you to drive their cars. They just aren't. You might want to make sure that you are ON your family's insurance policy while you are driving the cars that belong to others. It's no bargain adding a teen driver and it DOES cost less if there is drivers ed and honor roll. We required both for our kids before they could drive our cars (and yes, they paid for part of the drivers ed course).</p>

#4

<p>I asked her, and she said that is not the problem. I actually do not think she plans to put me on her insurance regardless, she did not do that for my brother</p>

#5

<p>Well...here's my humble opinion. If you do NOT have insurance, you should NOT be driving...PERIOD.</p>

#6

<p>I think you are right, it is SUCH a waste of money though. I go to boarding school and I barely make much momey babysitting, and I am about to go to college next year, plus prom and graduation dress....</p>

<p>DO you think that is fair though? I am not getting any drivers ed credit for one class, a whole lesson would be around 400 dollars and I ALREADY have my license. </p>

<p>I know parents are not obligated to let me drive her car, but she let my older brother drive when he got his license (at 16) and after his accident (at 16)</p>

#7

<p>yes in a perfect world, but where I am from, it is not a necessity</p>

#8

<p>Did it ever occur to you that your mom doesn't want you driving because you (as a driver) and the car are not insured with you driving? It would be very costly to have you get into an accident. ALL of the expenses related to that would be out of pocket with no insurance. If, heaven forbid, anyone was injured, the liability could cause your family to lose everything they have. I'm sorry, but even IF insurance is not required, driving without it is foolish. I fully understand why your parent is NOT letting you drive her car. She is being very responsible doing so.</p>

<p>Now...if you really want to drive...get a job, buy your own car, and pay for your own insurance.</p>

#9

<p>Ok I do not think you understand, insurance is not the issue. I asked her specifically. She would not lieabout it not, it would be a solid argument against me driving, just as you stated. She simply says it is because "she is not ready"</p>

#10

<p>Have any parents done this to their kids? Any kids going through this right now?</p>

#11

<p>I think that a start would be to look at driving as a privilege rather than a right. You have to earn the privilege to drive and part of earning it is convincing your parents that you can do so safely. If she wants you to take lessons, take them or talk with her about a possible alternative (i.e. see if there is another way you can make her at least a little more comfortable with you driving) if you can't/don't want to pay for the lessons.</p>

<p>I realize that not driving when all your friends are is hard (my mom wouldn't let me get my license until last year, a couple of years after many people around here get their licenses), but don't get bitter about it. Work to make your mom comfortable with you driving instead.</p>

#12

<p>150 an hour? you can find cheaper, I am sure</p>

<p>My Ds were 30 an hour</p>

#13

<p>Are you saying you don't have insurance AND you get behind the wheel of a car?
That shows terrible judgment on the part of your Mom to have you get a license and then not insure you or guide you to insure yourself.</p>

<p>Don't drive until you have insurance. It's very important and if you don't get that, you're not mature enough to drive anywhere under any circumstances.</p>

<p>I suggest you show superior judgment than your Mom by getting the insurance. Then maybe she'll "feel ready" to let you drive. In the meantime, don't nag her. Instead, focus on how to earn some money towards insurance. You might see if you can do SIGNIFICANT house chores for her (like painting rooms.., not doing dishes) that she'd be willing to pay you (things she'd hire others for) while you are home. </p>

<p>Eventually, somehow, focus on how to save enough to buy your part on her insurance. Meanwhile, don't drive. A license is only half the story. You need insurance so you don't bring down your family to ruin if you cause an accident. Accidents happen and aren't always your fault so don't think you are above having an accident!! If you're driving the car and hit a kid on a bike or a pedestrian who must go to the hospital, WHO do you think pays for that other person's hospitalization? Suppose they're in the hospital for a month? Etc.</p>

#14

<p>Since when does a driving instructor get $150 per hour? Something doesn't sound right. If she insists on additional lessons check out what AAA has to offer. You can actually sometimes learn useful things from some of these lessons depending on the instructor and program.</p>

<p>I also don't understand your statement about not needing insurance. Are you from another country?</p>

#15

<p>My children aren't allowed to have a drivers license in our home, because they're not allowed to drive my partner's car (the only one in the household) and we are unwilling to pay for their car insurance. They're also not allowed to be passengers in cars that other students are driving (which is a state law here). My son has gone off to college without ever having had a day of driver's ed, and no license; he has a state ID. My daughter is hoping to eventually be able to have a motor scooter when she's 18 and goes to college.</p>

<p>IF my children had pushed more about driving, they would have had to pay for the classes, the license, the insurance, the car, and the gas.</p>

#16

<p>I don't see why you wouldn't at least let your kid learn to drive, that could be prohibitive for them if they were to get to a point where they need to be able to drive a car, but can't. I mean, when all of my friends went off for job interviews at the end of college, they either had to drive their own cars or had a rental paid for by the company they were interviewing at. I can't imagine not being able to drive myself around in an emergency. And this is coming from someone who wanted to learn to drive so little they waited two years after getting their learner's permit to actually try for a license.</p>

<p>Not to mention learning how to drive has made me a much better pedestrian. I understand a lot better what cars are able and not able to do to avoid me, and as such I take much fewer risks than I ever did prior to driving.</p>

<p>As to the original poster, if the CVS is right down the road from you, why not ride a bike?</p>

#17

<p>I do think it's strange that OP's mother wouldn't let him/her drive. It's more of mother's psychological issue - letting go. I also think if it's the mother's requirement to have driver ed, then the mother should pay for it. It is just the mother's excuse not to let OP drive. Of course, it's her house and her car, she could do whatever she wants.</p>

<p>You could drive someone else's car even you are not insured, as long as you are only an occasional driver, the car you are driving is insured and you have permission. By adding our daughter to our policy, it increased our insurance cost by 1500. Now that she is in college we have her as an occasional driver and our cost went way down.</p>

<p>I personally found it to be very convenient to have our daughter drive. She was a great help in driving herself and her sister to/from school, ballet, and run many errands for us. At the same time, we lost a lot of control over her.</p>

#18

<p>"I also think if it's the mother's requirement to have driver ed, then the mother should pay for it."</p>

<p>Why? If a kid is old enough to drive, that kid is old enough to work and save enough to pay for driver's ed. I will require my son to have insurance when he drives; that doesn't mean I'm going to pay for it, however.</p>

#19

<p>Off topic, but, I'm confused about the insurance part. If I didn't put my kids on my insurance once they got their licenses, I believe I'd be breaking a law--I know I'd be violating insurance policy. And certainly they would be breaking the law if they drove without it. Is insurance not mandatory in some states?</p>

#20

<p>I'm also confused about the insurance. Once our kids got their licences we were required to put them on our insurance. If there is anything to pay for, I would say it's the insurance, not another on the road experience for someone that has gotten their license. I think this is a control issue or there's something else that is really worrying the mother. I can't say I was "comfortable" with my kids driving but intellectually I realized that they had proven themselves to be safe drivers after fulfilling their 50 hour permit driving time.</p>

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