Life after college

@momofthreeboys My H has both a BSCE and and MSCE and works for one of the largest builders in the US – runs a division for them. He got there because of his engineering background, although he doesn’t that specific skill set on a regular basis, the engineering training was very valuable. I don’t think he set his sights on building until after he’d worked a few years as an engineer. (He also has an MBA.)

I would just add that as we did numerous college visits with our children, we (as parents) paid close attention to the schools’ discussions about internships and how much assistance the school provides in attaining them, the relationships with potential employers each school had, and the alumni support for both internship and job placement. Some schools definitely came across much stronger in these areas than others.

And really, this should start in year 1, not waiting until year 3 or 4!

In my work, I’ve dealt with Juniors or Seniors in college, getting exposed to a resume writing workshop for the first time, and wishing they had had this earlier in their college career so that they would have known to pursue resume-worthy activities!

At some schools, I think that the career placement office has programming designed to serve students in all four years, not just for juniors and seniors. But the students need to be aware and take the initiative to take advantage of this.

Let your children find their own path. You can dictate those things that relate to your economic realities, such as paying for 4 years of college, but give them room to explore their own interests. There are so many careers that college students don’t even know exist. It’s important they hear their own voice when making these decisions, not yours.

Kids of college grad parents receive a lot of unconscious support at home that make it easier for them to ‘find their own path.’

We have a family where one parent attended a top university UG and has a professional degree while the other parent has a GED. You can imagine which parent has been the main advisor with the children in terms of their college thoughts, decisions, progress. The parent with the GED, while fully supportive of the process, simply does not have the experience nor the knowledge of how colleges work on the inside. If the kids had not had the parent who had been through it already to bounce ideas off, get some direction when they were confused or stuck, it would be/have been a significantly bumpier experience for them.

@dad3sons, I understand what and why you are asking. You can only offer support but no concrete advice about course choices, sequences, how to approach and talk to professors. It is and will be frustrating for you but remember you are providing much more for them than you had available for yourself. Also you will have the bittersweet experience of having your kids achieve things that you yourself could have done, but for whatever the reasons, did not get to do. Given that, your kids will have to figure things out for themselves. You can’t be their coach, but you can be their biggest cheerleader.

Put my self through college and paid loans by age 34. Married a college girl hoping she would make big bucks. Learned to enjoy 36 years with a stay at home mom. Ya just can’t plan life!

There is always a shortage of skilled. Never forget the time I bid a contract at $47 per hour and one of our key resumes was a phD from Northwestern with 20 years experience. Same week I take the car into the Ford dealer and their service date was $45 per hour. College is not necessary for a great family life. College and subsequent employment did allow me to get out of town, see the world and sometimes at the extreme inconvenience of my family.

What I find most odd is that my salary is in 90 percentile of my engineering specialty; yet my salary is sufficiently low that my children’s college tuition bills are very low. What an unexpected bonus! Be sure to bunch your babies together to maximize financial aid. I should of had more kids!

@burgermeister, I enjoyed your post. I do want to add, however, that FA rules are not set in stone…Anybody planning a family right now should realize that in 18 years, the rules and criteria could be quite different with respect to qualifying for aid, cost of college, etc.

Your children will be on the right academic track if they enjoy what they are studying, doing well academically, and meeting people that can mentor them in the college/career transition.

For me, everything in my career was had because of someone I knew (i.e. relationships)… starting when I was a sophomore in college. It matters relatatively little where you go to school or what your major is… it’s who you know. That’s my experience, but YMMV.

I got bits and pieces of your stories and that’s wonderful.

It appears that for some, college is an experience and not necessarily a preparation for a career. For some, it is just gaining more knowledge without a concrete understanding of its practical use. For some, it is preparation for a career they thought they liked which turned out to be just a stepping stone for another career they found and liked. For some, it is a preparation for higher learning, for research opportunities, or for Ph. D. For others, it’s the right choice at the first time and they put it into practical use.

The bottom-line is that every body put their degree to a good use. It’s not a waste of time or money, whether one eventually changed major, or career, or not.

A college degree, in itself, is the planning tool for a future career. It is where and when one will discover what he or she wants to be.

Unfortunately for some, even after graduation, they were still at a lost. It is when they found out that the career is not for them so they studied again and found their true love.

On a side note, if my son suddenly asked a $1000 loan from me and said he wants to start a business in our garage, and that he doesn’t want to study anymore, I will not have a future “Bill Gates” because I will flat-out say “No”. Unfortunately, I am that kind of “dad”.

Very thoughtful questions. My house- 3 college grads, 1 current college student. Every. Single. One. of us “changed direction” at least once. I am the big winner with 5 different major paths explored/started before settling on one. They were all kind of related, though, so I still got done in 4.

Of the two mature adults, one has a graduate degree, one has a graduate certificate. Of the two young adults, one is working and considering what kind of graduate degree to pursue. The other, still in school, is adamant that graduate work is not in the foreseeable future (and that’s fine).

Prestige did not matter for the mature adults as the local college from which we graduated is well-regarded in the area. For the new grad, prestige wouldn’t matter in terms of career; however, she wishes she’d aimed higher. I do, too. Jury’s still out on the last one. Her school, though relatively unknown, really pushes students to use their summers for research and internship experiences. She will probably be fine.

All three college grads are working in fields related to the undergraduate degree. Student will be interning in her field this summer. There has been at least one major career change for each mature adult.

Loans. All three college grads had them. Mine was very small. H’s were huge, and paying them off was awful; meant living very lean for a few years. Young adult’s was taken so there’d be start up money. I think most is still sitting in a bank as an emergency fund or to be used for grad school. Youngest adult, still in school, should finish up without them. Honestly, I don’t think loans are bad, and small ones are more a nuisance than a burden, but things sure are easier without the debt!

While this is true for all of the thoughtful people posting here on CC, there are students (i have encountered a few over the years) for whom college is (or was) a waste of time and/or money, at least at that time in their life. These would be the students who are just not ready, really don’t want to be there (e.g., only going because Dad made them go), and/or the students who simply fail to avail themselves of the opportunities presented to them – they are just going through the motions, but are not engaged or involved - at all, in any way, shape or form. Most of these students don’t stick around for long, though. Maybe they come back later, when they are ready.

As is often the case here, my family’s experience differs from many (most?) in this thread.

My H and I both have advanced degrees in chemistry, and both of us still work in that field 30-plus years out of grad school. In my case, I actually worked in a completely different career for about 7 years, and frankly I was miserable – I didn’t realize how much I really enjoyed research until I left it.

My D is a CPA and loves it. Before entering college, she had a vague idea she might major in business (it appealed to her practical side), but she dismissed the idea of accounting because it seemed boring to her, at least from the outside. She took a required accounting class and fell in love with it. She swears now that she might switch employers but never (willingly) her career. I told her to never say never…

My purpose in posting is that some people DO find life-long careers in the area of their college major.

H and I both worked our way through school (back when you could do that) and were funded for grad school, so no loans for us. D had no loans, either.

…oh - and no one cares where I went to grad school or undergrad.

That would be me. I switched majors a few times (don’t ask me how many, I don’t know) and ended up with a double major and minor in seemingly unconnected fields but both led to my graduate program. I worked for a few years in the field but switched subfields/specializations. Then I went back to graduate school for my doctorate, found yet another career path that was outside the field of my doctorate program. In other words, I gave my parents fits because every time they thought I found my niche I switched fields. I don’t think I ever found my true love of careers but I have definitely explored different areas and enjoyed the journey (so far).

What I do isn’t directly connected to the areas of my majors but study of both help inform me in my current position. It was never “you study math, you become a mathematician/math teacher” or “you study art history, you become a museum curator” thing. Life just isn’t that linear.

As for my schools, people may care about the Ivy for the split second when they see the name on my resume but, I would say the ACC schools generated more conversation during interviews.

I majored in history because I like history. I learned to think critically,to ask the right questions, to determine what sources were reliable, to conduct research, and to write well. During my senior year, I applied to law school. About a month before my graduation, I decided that I did not want to go to law school after all, so I spent the summer after college waiting tables and working for a caterer. My parents were not thrilled, but I was supporting myself and I knew my gig was only temporary.

In the fall, I moved to Boston to look for a career-path job. To pay the bills while I figured out what I wanted to do, I worked for a temp agency, which placed me with a mutual fund transfer agent. After about a week of doing secretarial type work, I was offered a job as a technical writer. That was my first career.

After a few years, I went back to school and got a master’s in journalism. After that, I was a journalist, a science writer, and a director of Christian education. Today, I am a volunteer ESL teacher, and soon to be a farmer, or at least the wife of one, as my husband’s fourth career involves buying a farm.

Even during the summer of table-waiting and the weeks of temping, I paid my bills with my own income and didn’t ask my parents for a dime. I don’t regret that experience, and neither do the servers who wait on me in restaurants to this day, as I am an excellent tipper.

I think you need to know your kids well and give them guidance related to their strengths and interests.
If they did well in HS, college could open many doors, and some doors may require grad school too.
If they are more social, less academic, some sales jobs might require less or less specific academic training.
Are they entrepreneurial (run a lemonade stand as a kid etc), maybe start a business, maybe college business school.

For my family, wife and I both ended up in careers very closely related to our education.
I studied Comp Sci and Econ/Bus, ended up in IT for financial services.
Wife went to law school and practices law.
But that is not to say everyone does so, know lots of law school grads who do not practice law.

Well I did not finish college. In fact, in the late 60’s, I did not want to go, though I was a top student. I went to Appalachia instead as a volunteer. Things were a little crazy back then: it is hard to remember why I made that decision. I have done classes one at a time for decades and really enjoyed them, but still don’t have a degree. It’s fine.

But for young people today, the degree is seen as a necessity by some. Personally, I think the degree doesn’t help that much but NOT having one hurts! I think there needs to be more emphasis on alternatives to college but don’t see a lot happening with that in many communities. I think the pressure to go to college, from the President on down, is misguided and almost amounts to indoctrination. It is especially sad when debt is involved.

If you don’t have a lot of resources, two years at CC is a fine way to go. As you know, CC grads can go straight to state U in some states, with some special perqu’s. Ad also some of the career-oriented AA degrees are great. If, however, you have a child who is talented academically or in some other area, try for financial or merit aid, as appropriate. Selective schools like the Ivies offer aid to families with incomes above $150k or even more. Other schools have aid too of course- need-based and merit.

The varied posts on here demonstrate the zigs and zags of life and how being open to opportunities as they present themselves is really better than over planning.

I honestly think that often employers are looking for maturity. College is one way to show that but there are others.

@dad3sons You are seeing many different experiences and that is good. The one thing I will say, despite the path one takes to get it, is that it is much better to have at least a Bachelors degree than not. I got a degree in six years, did nothing with it, raised kids, and it is only recently, starting in my late 40s, that I began to use my degree in a fulfilling way. But what I am doing now would not be possible if I had no degree. You will never go wrong getting a higher education.

The most important thing to college is the skillset you ‘earn’ through the various classes, experiences, and opportunities - what are called nowadays “high impact” experiences such as having a mentor or an intellectual relationship with a professor, studying abroad, having an internship, doing research, being involved in hands-on activities from professional clubs to volunteering to large projects (often under the broad umbrella of “leadership”), plus classes where you discuss ideas with peers and a professor, and lots of writing (with several drafts per paper), plus taking the time to think and read and grow from that. That last part isn’t necessarily found at every college but the combination of all these factors has a profund impact on students.
From these experiences, the student has to be mature and self aware enough that they can figure out what they’re good at, what they’re not good at , what they enjoy, what they’ve learned to do well - that’s where the career center will help right from the first year on. A good career center is essential, more so than the major. Unless you train for a specific career (teacher, nurse, engineer), the skillset acquired through the various elements described in Paragraph1 will create the student’s profile. The major may or may not be a signifier, but what matters is what you do with wha you learn. The career center is en essential part of a student’s life even during freshman year.
In the Fall of sophomore year your child should look for a summer internship based on his/her evaluation of ‘good at/enjoy’.

That’s generally the case for people who have been in the workforce for a while. But for that 1st job, there’s an advantage to be had in attending a school where the recruiters come to you. That means schools:

  • with long-term relationships with a company, or
  • that have a stong reputation for a particular major, or
  • that are geograpically near companies, or
  • have huge pools of students (e.g. big State U)

Notice that I didn’t mention prestige of the school. What matters to employers is: what can you do for me?

“Your children will be on the right academic track if they enjoy what they are studying, doing well academically, and meeting people that can mentor them in the college/career transition.” - While fully agreeing with all these valuable points, I would add one more - if they do NOT live with parents after graduation, but rather being on their own as financially independent adults.
One more thing is that it is very beneficial to accomplish all of the above without debt, graduate loan free.