A clear direction will at some point present itself to you. The community you like with the waiting list - try to gain some perspective on how quickly they work through the waiting list every year. These communities do have screening (did they complete screening to get you on the waiting list, and do they screen again when they accept someone off the waiting list?) It sounds like you buy in now with being on the wait list and they accept you off the wait list when they have your unit available. I agree you don’t want to ‘buy in’ unless you want to be there ‘for sure’ once a unit is open for you. Do some people take themselves off the wait list and get their funds returned? I would make sure everything this CCRC offers and promises will be intact between your buy-in and when you actually move in (how do you do this in that state and location – find out from reputable sources or hire a lawyer to go over the contract - one in elder law).
I also was a caring heart.
DH was really ‘on the fence’ with our big move projected to perhaps happen in 2026 - selling the home we built, and we have lived in this area since 1983. DH turned 69 today and I turn 69 in October. DH is realizing this is going to be the ‘right time’ on this big move. I am planning to spend 3 weeks or so in TX, driving my vehicle, leaving it there and flying back. When we come at Christmas - New Year’s with DH’s vehicle, we can drive both back if that is what seems the best thing to do. We can see how well DD1/SIL/5 grandkids are doing.
You have done the ‘hard work’ with the flexibility and having more minimal ‘stuff’ over your 9 years of seasonal rentals, caring for your mom for 8 years, and all the adjustments over your last two years.