I’ve mentioned it elsewhere (included a dedicated thread)… but wow, Pickleball has been such a fun way to meet a whole lot of new people! Most of them retired ladies like me, but the drills classes have a variety of gender/ages. A few that I met in beginner class and play with often are becoming friends for non-PB activities too.
Thinking about giving it a try? Feel free to ask PB questions here or
Just found out this morning that the person who had planned to host our Book Club (the one I started) two evenings from now can no longer host at her home. She has already bought the food and beverages, just needs a place. She put an ask out on our FB group, but I told her if no one steps up by tonight, we can meet at my house.
That’s part of the beauty of retirement IMO. I need to do some light cleaning but it’s NBD since I am home. I love the flexibility of not working.
Have fun! LOL - Hubby and I sometimes even like the fact that upcoming company gets us in gear to tidy up the house. Well the downstairs at least.
We have a vacation/travel clothing thread already.
Pre-covid we made some “friends” and connections, especially with younger folks by playing Pokemon Go on our cell phones. The game required several folks to work together so we got to know several of the “regulars.” COVID has pretty much killed these early friendships, sadly, though we have made a few more lasting connections.
I’m not sure what will replace it. My sibs have made some friends via tours they’ve taken with others.
TL/DR: Life is different than imagined, but not bad. What about the future?
It seems that H and I have nearly become hermits since he retired and we moved to be near our grandchildren. H sees D or SiL when he picks up/drops off the GDs, and does most of the grocery shopping which is mainly curbside pickup. I regularly email and text with the wife in a couple with whom we were good friends before moving, but haven’t seen them in over two years. We do Skype calls with S once or twice a month and see him a couple of times a year. Otherwise, our contact with people IRL is mostly limited to trades and techs who come to work at our home and our doctors. I’m a volunteer reader at older GD’s school, but that’s no more than twice a month.
Pre-pandemic, I intended to join OLLI at a local university but haven’t wanted to commit to in-person meetings since Covid hit. At the moment our area is seeing a surge in flu and RSV cases, and I’ve read about some norovirus cases as well. Since older GD began kindergarten last August, she has caught every bug going around and we’ve caught them from her with the exception (whew!) of HF&M disease. Walking pneumonia seemed to last for months and really sapped our energy. I don’t feel like risking anything else, especially since people here are overwhelmingly anti-vax (of any kind.)
We have a comfortable home, despite the numerous problems encountered during and after construction, and we’re thankful to not have any financial worries. We love babysitting our grandchildren several days a week and have been able to cancel/postpone any appointments when they’ve needed care in an emergency. Between too-frequent medical appointments, a few accidents, and several surgeries, we haven’t had time to even think about the traveling that we always assumed would be a big part of our retirement. Being such homebodies is not what we had in mind, but it’s okay.
We’re closing in on 70 and I didn’t expect my horizons to shrink like this for another decade. On the other hand, we never really expected to have grandchildren and we love our time with them. Lately we’ve wondered if the next 10 to 30 years will look like the recent past. If so, would we be content with that? Our home was designed for aging in place, but will we want to remain here after the GDs go to college and possibly settle elsewhere? H has family longevity on his side and may live to 100, but that’s highly unlikely for me. As much as we hated apartment life, will we compromise at some point in order to get needed services in some sort of IL/AL/SNC facility? The nursing home lockdowns during the worst of the pandemic made that prospect even more unattractive.
We still have lots of questions. 
Not retirement specific, but this seems like a good place to share this gift link:
I read all of your post and you made some very interesting points.
Are you content with the life you have now? The grandkids are young now but won’t be forever so prioritizing being with them is important then that’s the answer for now.
Do you want to travel? Are you happy with your slow go life right now?
We like where we live and have plenty to do but are lacking in finding like minded people. Events of the last decade have left us feeling that there’s not a place where we could and also could afford to live there.
Our kids live in places that don’t interest us and aren’t exactly places for retirees. So that’s hard too.
I guess right now we are content where we are and aren’t anticipating going anywhere. And that’s ok
The biggest issue we are facing…many of our friends are moving away. Either they are going to warmer climates or they are moving to be nearer to their kids or other family. So the folks who were our closest friends aren’t here anymore.
So…we need to branch out!
My favorite tip is dark chocolate covered nuts! Thanks.
This may be obvious, but I’m going to say it anyway - for people who reach out and others come, then instead of waiting for them to reach out to you, reach out to them again, or set up an activity for multiple people, or whatever. Some people are just hesitant to start something, but are really happy to participate.
I know I’ve posted this elsewhere, but I started and continue a pickleball group that meets three times (sometimes more) a week. I started it by reaching out, multiple times, to the same group of people, as a brand new player. We had no schedule. I was ALWAYS the planner, and other people were ALWAYS interested, as long as I planned it. Now we have over a dozen regular players, but I send a text and work out the time and make sure we have enough players and nets for EACH session. If I didn’t do it, the group would likely fall apart pretty quickly. (I do have a couple of people who are willing to do in when I’m on vacation, now that we are pretty well established).
At some point we decided we should start celebrating birthdays (AKA getting together off the court). If I didn’t work on the time/place, these celebrations simply wouldn’t happen. BUT, for example one of the lunches was yesterday, and only one from our group did not show up, because that person is on vacation. I take that as an indication people want to come, they just don’t want to organize/manage.
I am not writing this to brag or say I’ve done anything wonderful, but to say that somebody has to be the arranger, and you may need to be that person. Putting yourself out there can be scary, but in at least this one case it’s turned into something pretty good. In my case I’ve been pretty lucky because there’s been very little drama, and most everyone is just happy to have someone make a decision and tell them when to be where.
I’m content but not over the moon with where we are. I’m ready for grandkids and wonder whether that will mean a relocation, even if part time. There is a constant low hum of the need for change.
I just read this in an article in the New Yorker:
Years ago, I taught in a master’s program, and one of my students—a colonel in charge of thousands of soldiers—told me that, in his view, leaders weren’t much smarter than everyone else; instead, they were willing to make decisions under conditions that others found paralyzing and able to accept the consequences of those decisions, good or bad.
ETA: it’s a long and interesting article. You can search the text for more context.
What is this?
We are looking at possibly this Italy tour with Viking in 2026 in October with a pre and/or post in Lake Como or the lakes region.
Diet/Exercise/Health/Wellness. It’s old and was replaced by a new thread.
@1214mom - Yes! Someone does have to step up. In my case I realized that it would have to be me. So I am doing it because I really like the people I have connected with and I value being connected.
I’m friendly but not super extroverted. And yes, I can be shy/uncomfortable. Yes, sometimes I have planned things (not necessarily with this group) and no one was interested or no one showed up. But I have learned to put myself out there and get out of my comfort zone if this is something I really want.
@thumper the same thing happened to us where we lived before we moved.
I’m curious about this part of your post - “aren’t exactly a place for retirees.”
Can you explain what do you mean by that? What makes a place “for retirees” in your opinion? Or should I say, what is it about where you kids live that make it not a place for retirees? (I understand where they live might not be a place you would like to live).
Mine, too. Ghiradelli dark chocolate with almonds.
When our kids were young, I knew they REALLY loved being around their cousins so I was the planner that made it happen many, many times while they were growing up. It included mini-reunions with my sibs and their kids and my parents. I think I did it until they went off to college. Since then, several sibs have talked about doing things together but no one actually does it and I’m tired and not interested.
My kids still get together with their cousins whenever they’re in the same geographic area—NYC, LA, or wherever. I’m glad to have built the foundation for them but trying to get my sibs together is a lot more challenging because so many have competing interests and prioritize those over family time with sibs.