I’ve been retired for quite a while. H retired a couple of years ago. We follow “The Three Cs” philosophy for a happy retirement: Creativity, Connection & Contribution.
We each do different things that play to our individual interests and strengths, although we mostly share the “Connections.”
H and I both retired early in 2018 at 59 and 57. He had 35+ years in and I had 33. I had thought that I’d work awhile longer, but the job was going to kill me if I didn’t stop. The breaking point was when I knew we wouldn’t be able to go to a relative’s wedding. We could afford it no problem, but getting time off between June and September was a non-starter. So, I put in for retirement, we went to the wedding, spent an entire month traveling, and it’s been heaven ever since.
The plague put a damper on travel, but the nearby second home we have as well as a 5th wheel substituted well.
H does a lot of woodworking, home improvement (see my drybar in the home improvement thread), and gardening.
So much I’ve wanted to do, but a second bout with (my term) “breast cancer lite” and resulting major surgery, two hand surgeries, and tendinitis in one leg kind of knocked me for a loop. I joined the Y and that is a daily visit for me.
We’ve picked up on the travel and have several camping trips and a family European trip planned for this year. I have reconstruction surgery next week & after recovery, it’s anyone’s guess what life will bring.
What a full life you have! Sending good vibes for your upcoming procedures.
I agree that some back issues are just troublesome. With DH’s low back, the spinal surgeon said “the problem is you have a 1956 model” and is not something ‘repairable’ with surgery at this time.
DH (with his PCP’s OK) takes a supply of Tylenol and Extra Strength Excedrin almost on a 24-hour schedule. He lays out the night-time Tylenol dose for when he gets up during the night for bathroom. Sometimes he eats a bowl of cereal at 4 am and starts with coffee and getting on his computer, then will go back to bed for several hours. Hey, it is his retirement. We finally figured out that some of his headaches over the years probably were actually from some of his spinal issues. He has ‘managed’ migraine headaches to where they are almost non-existent. He did have relief from under anesthesia injections for his cervical spine issue some years ago when he was still working (he had the nerve pain for the more minor nerve area down his right side of his back instead of down his arm, and he got some relief from the first injection but 100% relief from the 2nd). He was OK at work and home when he could adjust his standing and sitting, but he had airline flights that had his pain be very intolerable. He had three injections under anesthesia for his low back and no relief. There are days when he has to rest his back more, and other days when he can be more active. When we drive longer distances, he wears one of those back wraps which give him a little support and probably also reminds him on positioning. Walking helps DH and he walks a lot daily unless he has an ‘off’ day. DH has always mowed our yard (unless away too long for work travel), and once we realized lawn services could not maintain the lawn (weed/feed) as well as DH, he has always done that as well. He takes great pride as our walking neighbors compliment how good our front yard grass looks. We are in the south, and he overseeds with ‘winter grass’ so our lawn is green all year.
DH is much better at regular exercise than I am. I need to get better and prioritize it. Once I start a schedule I can do well, but things out of my control do pop up and then my routine/schedule is broken. Getting back in the saddle takes the effort, and I already know I will be at DD1/SIL’s for an extended time in 2025 - and finishing up some scheduled things as well. I do have a short trip planned that will involve walking, so that will help me get more active prior to that trip.
I am fortunate to have survived aggressive cancer in 2009, but it was a journey of having everything but the kitchen sink thrown at it, and a miraculous healing/turnaround which had doctors amazed. That medical set back has led over years to have me out of healthy weight for the first time in my life. Completed all treatments, one (10 years of Tamoxifen pills) gave me fatty liver disease diagnosed in the past few years - but the pills were IMHO necessary to keep the cancer away. I would ‘fight’ to get healthy, and something else would turn up. The last bout was parathyroid surgery Jan 2023. It does take effort with weight gain and aging to baby step back to a good exercise and diet routine. IDK if I have the drive to really take off all the weight gain to get to more acceptable weight - I would need to do it over years of time and trying to get more balance in my life in other areas as well. Areas of neglect with the house. Many good things in retirement, but always areas for self-improvement.
One thing to add is that with 16 chemotherapy treatments, I do have some ‘chemo brain’ memory issues. There are many memories that I remember with great detail, while others I have to ‘piece’ together. I have caught myself twice recently where I have written something on my calendar in the wrong box (one time a week off and one time a month off), and that is something I have never done pre-cancer – so I do have to pay closer attention to certain things to not make those kinds of mistakes. I don’t think it is from any aging, but I do like puzzle and other things to keep one’s mind sharp. I do think I need to pay close attention if I am rushed or stressed.
Good morning, everyone! Have I found an activity for us!
No. Ain’t gonna happen.
Maybe minority opinion - I LOVE this. My mission lately has been to push myself to do activities involving things I’m afraid of (e.g., heights).
Have wanted to sky dive since I was in my 20s. Worked my way up to indoor rock climbing in 2024 (plan to continue) and would love to parasail, hang glide, maybe even skydive.
This was an inspiring article (to me, lol!).
Well, that’s one way to go. 
Make sure it’s the last item on your bucket list.
Gosh no sky diving for me. I’m in general a wimp, but there have just been too many newspaper articles around here about skydiving accidents. In older age I imagine the recovery from injury would be an issue too.
So true. Lucky for you there are plenty of online/CC folks here who like to encourage exercise. I like our idea of having a getaway that involves walking. And maybe when with the grandkids you can find fun walking or exercise to do together.
I like the idea of getting out of one’s comfort zone. That being said, I don’t think it’s going to be skydiving. Good luck with your adventures.
This is what DH and I do. I call it my wellness month, where we go to Hawaii (post-holidays) and appreciate the weather (we live in the Chicago area) and focus on healthy, outdoor activities. Mentally it’s great. It gives us something to look forward to and when we return we feel good knowing there’s not much winter weather left.
We could afford to buy someplace warm, but this arrangement gives us flexibility.
Exactly my feeling. Traveling to new places, with all that it usually entails, satisfies my level of adventure.
My dad’s docs really wanted to avoid spinal surgery (he was in his late 80s and otherwise healthy) but the surgery relieved his pain at last.
I tried paragliding. It was a last minute invitation by my brother because he was a party of 3 and had tickets for 4. It was OK but not something I am particularly interested in repeating. No one was injured and we all found it OK. 2 of the people were visiting Oahu. I guess it’s exciting as you are up in the sky attached to a boat and a parachute and it was a clear, sunny day. It’s really not my idea of a fun time.
I just literally sold an Eileen Fisher tunic top for $50 5 minutes ago. You should consider opening a poshmark closet, but it does take a little work.
I’ve given this a lot of thought - it’s been a long time since retirement. I had one government job for 15 years, then child and such and return with part time work, then another full time job for over 10 years. That last job (which was WFH) ended when my boss got promoted and they totally reorganized the entire structure, which eliminated my position in 2010. So technically I retired at that point since it was my last paid work.
I spent the next five years getting us moved to San Diego, as discussed elsewhere multiple times. One reason I wanted to move was to create a social life. My mom passed away literally days after we moved away so that took my attention for most of our first year here. After getting all the trusts etc. transferred to my brother and myself, and finally selling her condo a year later, our finances became nicely comfortable so that’s not an issue.
What is an issue for me is social life. I really had none back in Chicagoland and was happy to join a Meetup here which essentially led to all social activity. At one point I was invited to join a pool aerobic group stemming from that Meetup group, although separate. All went swimmingly for a couple of years. I was delighted to be part of a friendship group (never was before) and felt included. Admittedly I did not choose to participate in some non-pool activities, primarily game nights (I really don’t like playing games).
Then came the pandemic. I helped organize Zoom talks so we could all keep in touch. As things started opening up again, I organized a couple of outdoor lunch gettogethers. But when I say it turned into junior high Mean Girls vibes, I do not exaggerate. Three of the members grouped together to essentially kick me out on a slim excuse. Other members thought it wasn’t right but in the end did not stop it from happening so I left. That was very hard on me; first time I thought I was in a group of friends and boom. It hurt badly and I still harbor resentment towards a couple of the women.
I also learned during the pandemic that I’m basically lazy and like being at home entertaining myself. And I’ve become reluctant to become more social, just going to the occasional happy hour. I don’t like driving myself places at night. After reading what everyone is doing, I feel guilty about not exerting myself more. I’m not a good people person and am introverted in groups. This thread did inspire me to put together a Meetup event in a couple of weeks for people to meet and do photography. Not sure if I’ll even get a handful but it’s a start.
I would like to walk more but my feet are not happy about that and swell and hurt for a couple of days after such. Thanks to aging bones, I am putting in a real effort to keep up with PT exercises for neck, upper body, hips, ankles, feet, plus balance. And in the summer I swim slow laps in our pool.
But enough about me. Husband would have been fine staying in Chicagoland. However, he has really adapted beautifully to life here. He plays tennis and bikes year round, is in a senior basketball league, goes to farmers markets every weekend, takes care of the yard, and spends a lot of time cooking (we like different foods). His tennis group does a few other events, like going to someone’s house to drink and watch sports. One problem is that the wife of one of the tennis guys is one of the Mean Girls. I’ve participated in some of the non-tennis stuff but am uncomfortable around her knowing how she did not want me in her group.
Thanks to needing to start withdrawing our RMD’s, I finally convinced husband we should do a major trip. He’s fine never traveling; doesn’t join me on trips to visit son in Seattle for example. But we are going on a Globus New Zealand trip in early 2026 with a stop in Sydney on the way home. I reserved a Road Scholar trip for two to Yosemite in June but neither son nor husband are interested so I may have to cancel. I will try to change it to a single if necessary but that may not be possible.
So either I find a way to kick start my life, or lose the guilt and embrace my selfish lifestyle.
@Marilyn I’ve run into groups of mean girls before in my life. Right now, I have a few small friend groups that I enjoy based on a mutual interest.
This would be my advice. Try again. I’ve had some social issues that could have really affected me but as time went on I found another group, in the end those people were even better friends. It’s hurts and it stings but there are mean girls everywhere. I’ve also called out mean girl behavior, to be honest, if there were decent people they rallied and became better for it.
Sometimes, it’s easier to follow the leader than be a leader yourself. Boo on those who do.
I always say that I’m an acquired taste. Definitely not part of the popular group but trying to be the best person I can be.
Hey… that’s my line 
But what are my interests since most of what I like are solitary activities? That’s the question! And how do I find the friend groups? How much will I have to drive to participate?
These are my roadblocks that I need to conquer.
Maybe I misunderstood. And I get liking solitary pursuits.
I guess I got that maybe it’s the thought of rejection that is holding you back more than not wanting to be a part of a group.
For instance, I started playing mahjong. It’s a good winter activity. A neighbor asked me, our community has a group at the senior center but I don’t feel good enough to join the group. I do want to find a beginner group, I’ll have to reach out to my neighbor to see if they are starting one at the senior center.
Mahjong is a good option because you don’t have to be that social because you have to concentrate lol. I do have to say that I’m finding it has so many rules and each time I think I’m figuring it out there’s a rule I didn’t know about. Sigh!
That’s just an idea. I found another group that’s a drop in golf gathering. I found that I really like the ladies who play, we go to breakfast afterwards. It’s not at my home course, we don’t keep score and it’s low key with no commitment. My kind of group!