I have really enjoyed the Spanish English meetup. It’s every Saturday 4-6 or later, and whoever shows up, that’s the group. Most participants in their 30s-early 40s but I’ve recruited some old women and everyone who’s come has loved it.
Another social outlet has been a monthly meal in Chinatown with other people with adult kids adopted from China. Also fun and amazing food!
@Marilyn I’m being honest when I say I read your post and my impression was how brave and motivated you have been to make changes in your life - something many would not do! From up and moving across country to joining meet-up groups going in blind (for some of us that is HARD) to (wow) taking a chance and creating your own photography meet up.
You have put forth many efforts. Put those mean girls in the past and if you WANT it, dip your toes in the social water again.
Photography is such a passion. How about a community college photography class? Or one through parks and rec or other community places?
Is there help you can get for your feet so you can enjoy walking again?
Some of us aren’t great in big groups and yes, like our alone time. But small groups? One other person to take a short walk with? Maybe a better possibility.
(P.S. I’m not a games person either)
My mom took an uber out to Flushing to play Mahjong with her friends. They are all very good players. According to my mom that it is very social. They chit chat a lot while they play. It’s an all day thing for them. They have lunch and dinner breaks.
My mom has tried to get me to play Mahjong, but I have no interest.
Sorry you had some bad experiences. Perhaps you could try a water aerobics class a local rec center? (If you are 65+, it might e free with your med insurance, SilverSneakers or RenewActive. If not, the class fee would still be worthwhile.) Or since you have a pool, maybe there is a neighbor who might enjoy swimming laps with you.
Me too…and I really enjoy it. This will make you all chuckle.
Teacher to my friend: why do you want to learn MahJong?
Friend: because starting in November, we will be living in Florida for 6 months of the year.
Teacher: well that’s a good reason!!
Teacher to me: and why do you want to learn MahJong.
Me while pointing to my friend: Because she is.
But actually, I really do enjoy the game. This teacher is at a senior center in a neighboring town to mine. My friend has permanently moved away, but I enjoy the others. We play every Monday afternoon!
@deb922 do it! I bet the senior center can get a teacher and a group of understanding players together…it’s OK to be a beginner. We all were! I’m actually not very good…but it’s fun!
Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas! I was mentally crashing back in Chicagoland and was seriously considering moving away by myself. Luckily husband did not want to lose me so came with. (I did have to wait until his mother passed at 99 to get him to do anything.)
I’ve never been interested in Mahjong, first because I don’t like playing games, and second because it’s such a cliché for my demographic, even outside Florida! I do understand it’s a good social activity but not for me. Ditto Pickleball. I once thought I would like to learn golf in retirement but not sure it’s something to start from scratch at age 73.
Not much I can do about my feet; I’m very aware of limitations. I did manage over five miles in one day when son was here (zoo visit) but was seriously lagging by the end. So not something to do often! There is a walking organization that meets nearby weekly with a 2 1/2 mile round trip so I may look into that again (Walkabout).
I decided to test out a local woman’s club. I’ve passed on it before because it meets late in the day and into the evening and I’d rather not drive at night. But it’s only a couple of miles away and if necessary I can always start taking Lyfts. I will try attending their next monthly general gathering and learn more about it.
There is one woman that I consider a good friend although I know she has closer friends. We once went on a cruise together and we do get together every couple of months. I would invite her over to swim but she used to live on the next block and her son died of an OD a few years back - she is understandably not comfortable coming back to the neighborhood. Right now I’m checking if she would like to do a craft outing or at least meet soon. There’s another woman (part of the Meetup) that I would like to do stuff with but she is very busy with the Meetup and helping with her grandkids (her SIL died unexpectedly a few years ago). So she never knows if she will be needed. Sad situations for both friends!
At least this thread (and the new year) have inspired me to move outside my comfort zone a bit. Hopefully it will be as successful for me as the Weight Loss for Dummies thread.
Most of my friend relationships were formed from employment or exercise. Interestingly, the relationships I formed while working are the ones who have endured. You never hear of Meetups or the like here. We do have Parkrun now so that’s a start. I may try that.
I suspect most of us have had a mean girls experience and it’s painful, particularly when it feels like a group has been talking about you behind your back (or you flat out know that they have) and it’s a group or friendships you’ve worked hard to form and maintain. It’s even more difficult when you are introverted and enjoy individual activities, so I definitely empathize. I really respect your willingness to keep pushing forward, Marilyn. I am exploring joining a local needlepoint group - that is a hobby I enjoy and it would give me some human contact while working on a project I enjoy.
The dogs and I woke up to about a foot of snow this morning; Sabadog has spinal arthritis in addition to her other issues, so wasn’t as excited as Sabapup to frolic. I watched way too much football over the weekend. I really need to get some things done today so I don’t feel completely unproductive!
Omg a foot is a lot! That is a big storm. Maybe built a snowman?? 
For now, I’m enjoying all the activity at the bird feeders. We have a bit of an icy glaze so not sure a snowman is in my future.
I’m hoping people will post some snow pics in the Photos thread. It’s not snowing here in AZ, and I miss it. Enjoy it, but stay safe and drink some hot cocoa while you watch it fall.
Thank you so much for your story. I have a similar story, and am working through it. 2024 was a big break-through year for me, finding acceptance in myself and the way I want my life to be. I won’t stand for Mean Girl behavior, even though I was a Mean Girl myself in the past.
I joined the Master Gardener (state university extension organization) group in 2021, but realized I was not cut out for that, after volunteering with them for a year.
If this morning is any indication, my full-time retirement pasttime is arguing with insurance companies.
Mean girls are no fun. I am also an introvert. I am a good tennis player and it is a lot easier for me to be social while playing tennis or doing some other activity. There are definitely mean girls in tennis but luckily I have found a fun, nice group.
After age 65, the only problem I foresee with us is if Medicare doesn’t allow something. We have not run into anything so far with our care. Maybe way down the road we might think differently, but we pay for a very good Part B provider and pay for the Part D drug plans based on our need. Our Part B also has a flex card that we use to pay for our gym/hospital wellness center (pool and very well-equipped gym with many group classes). At some point I might get into a group class, but right now concentrating on attending the gym or pool time.
I do have to get on top of chasing after the plumber’s insurance or filing a small claims court against them – they put a hole in our drainpipe way above where they were unclogging out vanity drain in master bath. We are out of pocket about $3K. Insurance paid $10K. Operator error with a motorized long snake, and they didn’t know it. We discovered water damage much later (about 5 weeks later).
I am a widow who, after having cleaned out and sold the home we’d lived in for 35 years, moved unexpectedly to a new town to be with someone I met on match.com (he is also widowed).
I was never able to form friendships in the town I left, but have found it much easier to make social connections here. So, if you are considering moving as part of retirement – it’s still possible to find your people later in life – it can be very location dependent!
Since I’ve moved here, I’ve audited two college classes, joined the Woman’s Club, and formed a writing group.
Plus I’m learning to be a cat person. 
I feel blessed to have this new chapter in my life.
Good for you.
That’s wonderful, fendrock!
Love this life for you! 
@fendrock, I’m so happy for you! Enjoy it all – you deserve every bit of it.
Update on the new get out of the house plan: yesterday’s calendar included an exhibit of slightly more interest to me plus lunch at a deli that for years we’ve been saying we should check out. Turned out to be not great weather but we went anyway , DH admitting that he was reluctant but that it was probably just inertia and he’d enjoy it once we got there.
And he did, getting more deeply into the exhibit than I did. And lunch was great. There’s hope for getting out of the rut! (Although he was taken aback to learn that something like this was going to be happening regularly in the future…)