@Marilyn, love the Yosemite trip. I have backpacked there a number of times but would love the idea of a hotel. I would like to go there in winter and go snowshoeing. Yosemite has gotten pretty crowded and I like the idea of being there in solitude but staying at a nice hotel at the end of the day (like we do in Yoho NP in Canada).
Also, SFO is just fine. I have been there many times. Weak on lounges relative to some other airports, but find a nice restaurant to sit in and wait for your flight.
@SOSConcern, I have active my whole life. But, I have had chronic back pain for quite a number of years. ShawWife hired PT who comes to our house as a trainer twice a week (used to be three times) on core and other exercises to help my back and found a gifted chiropractor. Bicycling is good for it and rowing is OK but hiking (which I love and still do) is harder and many of the other sports I used to play (squash, tennis, basketball) are out of the question. Walking and standing hurt more than they help. Both the PT and the chiropractor thought they were having less effect and recommended I go talk to surgeons. As a result, I’m having back surgery in a couple of months. Choosing the less aggressive/invasive surgery. Hopefully that will reduce the pain for at least a few years.
Yes, a big draw of this trip for me is being able to stay right in the park (aside from being taken to the most popular spots without having to worry about parking spaces). I’m no hiker, more of a stroller, so being on the park shuttle route is also a plus.
DH had to ‘learn’ along the way how to manage his headaches and migraine headaches - at one time he was taking way too much OTC medication and was having ‘rebound’ kind of headaches/issues according to his PCP. Sometimes he could ‘feel a migraine headache coming on’ and would lie down in a dark room until it passed – and often headed off headaches before they became full-blown migraines. He balances with limited/limiting caffeine (2 cups coffee in the morning, although he sometimes has Diet Coke during the day which has caffeine) and the caffeine in the Extra Strength Excedrin which is spaced out with Tylenol over 24/7. Some of his headaches begin probably stress-related, and he does what he can with managing stress; during working years did what he could during the workday. I don’t recall him ever leaving work with a migraine, but he did manage headaches at work. After his cervical pain issue was relieved, he probably felt less headaches coming on and tied onset of some of his headaches from his back.
MIL had some migraines during active years which during a period of time were set off hormonally (menstrual cycle hormones) - at that time a doctor would come to the house to give her a shot, they were so excruciating and debilitating. DH is the only offspring who has had migraine headaches. DD1 had some migraine headaches as early as 3rd grade but seemed to learn how to head off any migraine type headaches before becoming full blown – when she was young, and sometimes for DH, they would throw up and about that time their headache was about over.
Saturday, DH ‘twinged’ his lower back, and it is still bothering him. Today he is out walking, the first time he is ‘trying’ this. For him his back is not aching more with walking. He bounces between doing things in his workshop and his usual activities, which include a lot of rocketry – he helps HS student rocket teams whose goal is to go to a national competition and is involved in a local/active adult club. He currently goes to meet at two different schools weekly and is advising one via phone calls. They do launches when the weather permits (which includes having a low wind day), and the kids having rockets ready - this year rocket motors are a problem (availability problem) so they have to be careful with their planning. Rocketry has taken at least 20 hours/week over his last 13 years (with some periods of lower activity, like the summer), even when he was employed FT (until 4 years ago) - now rocketry is his favorite activity, talks about it every day, on his mind a lot. He is planning another article - one was in their national publication in 2023 as a featured article (Sport Rocketry) - his article was on the wireless launch system he developed for the local rocketry club – DH is a retired electrical/computer engineer. These schools appreciate DH’s mentoring. DH’s rocketry activities are very involved with a PhD NASA person who is single and has rocketry on his mind a lot as well.
I have a longer trip to where the grandkids are (in March 2025) prior to baby #5 and scheduled return after baby’s baptism. DH will fly in for the baptism. Our Dec/Jan time with DD1/SIL/Gkids (making the trip by car) doesn’t interfere with rocketry.
It will probably be years before DH loses his rocketry enthusiasm, so we are staying put in the home we built in 1992. The deck replacement work is being done as I type - two small decks off the 2nd floor bedrooms.
Best wishes for the upcoming back surgery - hope it provides relief. Sounds like you have been managing as best as you could until surgery was the medical intervention needed now.
I remember when Elder Hostel turned into Road Scholar, although I’ve never participated before. OLLI is run locally by UCSD, and it’s one of the programs I researched when relocating here. If it was close by, I might have tried it out in the early years. Also, a lot of the courses make me feel shallow! And now I am still reluctant to spend time in crowded indoor spaces having avoided COVID to date.
But in the interest of new starts, I may try to attend their next Open House on March 29, if only via Zoom.
There’s another emeritus program run by the San Diego Community College District. I did several courses with them in our first years here, including beginning piano (to revive my childhood skills) and Qi Gong (which led to my current online Tai Chi). I also took an investment seminar just to learn about what I inherited when my mom passed away. The instructor offered a free review of one’s portfolio so I had her look mine over to help me understand what I now had. And made a couple of small changes based on her analysis.
But that emeritus program reduced considerably coming back from the pandemic and they moved their HQ much further away.
It was fun setting up CC meets! I did one in my early years here, and then the second one at Bali Hai. It was indeed great getting together and meeting people in person. I’m always happy to meet with anyone visiting the area.
Good luck with recovery from your surgery! Since we moved here, husband has had two rotator cuff repairs and one hamstring reattachment. So lots of personal care and driving duties. Nothing lately, knock on wood.
I am not a great social scheduler, though I am social. Fortunately, ShawWife is blessed with extraordinary social skills, genuine empathy for people and generosity so people are always trying to become a closer friend. She is concerned that if she were to die before me, I would need a companion and even had one picked out for me. Funny. She would have no trouble finding a partner if I were to die before her (although I know that it is much harder for women of a certain age to find partners, ShawWife is a magnet for people). But, in any event, my plan is a Thelma and Louse joint exit. As long as we are together, we have a very full social life.
If I were trying to make friends, I would try to join a book group (for some reason, these seem to be gender-segregated), a cycling club, maybe a hiking group if my back would tolerate it. I did join a book club. I am happy cycling and hiking with ShawWife so haven’t tried to expand beyond it.
If I were trying to find a partner, I might look to join a yoga class (when we took them, there were always more women than men), join adult groups at a synagogue, and offer to speak more. We were at Renaissance Weekend and there seemed to be a number of fairly accomplished women in their 40s to 60s hoping to meet men.
As I’ve talked about before, my husband’s brother and his wife separated and divorced after 30 years.
What I’ve observed is that women are very attuned to supporting other women when they separate or lose their husbands. I see it all the time. Women who are single issue invitations, have single gatherings. Some married couples are good about inviting their single women friends out. Grief support groups are mostly women. I see single women traveling together.
In a way I don’t see men doing the same. Yes men have activities but in a different way than women. Some Single men seem to want to date. And if they don’t, some can struggle to find a support system.
Which to me seems why some men marry after losing their wives. The numbers are in their favor also. But some of it is finding others to do things with. And not being the primary source of socialization. Not knowing how since they never did.
Having spent a lot of time in the gym, it’s an extremely popular place for meeting new people and possibly dating someone with similar fitness and other interests. Beats the apps, IMO.
Did they announce this? I really find these generalizations about women “of a certain age” distasteful. It makes me think of a scene in SATC where Miranda asks the rest of the group “why it always has to be about men”. I’ve no doubt these women had other reasons for attending.
The “lifelong learning” classes are extremely popular here. They are open to anyone 50 and older and the subjects range from genetics to religion to Agatha Christie novels. There was one that studied local weather that I would have loved to take if I wasn’t still working.
The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts offers a wide range of tour opportunities that friends of ours have taken advantage of. On their tour, Lech Walesa joined the group to lead discussions which they really enjoyed. I’m hoping once H’s medical issues are resolved we can look into a few options.
I used to get the majority at Goodwill on senior days. It was just amazing at the things I found, lots brand new. Then , GW caught on to the resell game, now pulls all the great stuff, marks their other stuff ridiculously, and did away with senior discount days. I rarely go there anymore.
There is an upscale consignment store that every 3 months does a waterfall sale to clear out lots of inventory to make room. I go later in the day to get the 80% off, then I a,ways have a 20% coupon on top of that. I spend several hundreds $ to get me thru. I sell my own stuff too.
Sometimes I’ll go to GW, but don’t leave with much. It’s harder to find things I like, but every once in awhile they miss something very nice.
Before Covid we belonged to the local JCC. I thought I’d try out a yoga class and another Pilates type class. I was in my late 50’s then. Each class some man in his 70’s just had to speak with me, and it was so annoying. I quit going. I told my DH all I wanted to say to them was what made them think I’d be interested in them, the old geezers.
@sabaray, I was not generalizing about all women of a certain age, but was reporting on what I’d observed. And, for sure, everyone had other reasons for attending – it is really an interesting event.
But, the answer to your question is yes. Generally, no one announces in a group or to me, but it would come up in conversations they had with ShawWife. As I mentioned, she is genuinely curious about people, empathetic and generous. It is not unusual for people to ask her whether she knows single men. [We know very few and the few that have remained single we would not recommend]. She also heard about difficult divorces and new boyfriends. I do recall a couple of exceptions. A few years ago, a woman asked both of us about single men. This year, we were walking to lunch with a woman we’ve know for a few years and she told us she was tired of being single and wondered where the single me were. I guess those were sort of announcements.
@conmama and @Bromfield2, I would agree if someone were actively trying to pick people up. There are more organic ways of doing things. But, I’ve been attached for 43 years so who knows what I would do if I were single. My thinking was that I would just participate in activities that had a favorable gender ratio.
You know different women than I do. I don’t remember any of my single friends (and I have several) asking me about single men. In my experience most of the women I know who are in long marriages (or were) have no interest in looking for another guy, I know some women do find love again (and cheers to that!).
