We do not have 5 gyms in a short distance. And gym for me IS about finding the right fit. All gyms are not equal for me.
If going to the gym requires a longer drive across town, I know myself enough to know I’m not going to do it - I’ll just “make do” with exercise at home. So close distance IS a requirement for me.
I am the same. For example, I love working out, and I used to go to classes. At the time, I was a SAHM who had young kids and an H who traveled a lot for work - I needed the adult interaction, but I didn’t make “friends.” I made acquaintances. Now, I work out in my basement. I go to the library once a month for free yoga, and I chat with the people around me, but I haven’t made friends with anyone. I go to church & know a lot of nice people, but I don’t really feel a desire to hang out with them outside of church. I’m a nice person, but I am introverted. I’m cool with that, but it does have drawbacks … the thought of living in an active living community in Florida or living in a small assisted living facility turns me off.
Who knows maybe I’ll turn into someone who sleeps in every morning and wanders around in my pj’s till noon…. 
First grandchild will be 2.5 hours away. Time will tell, but D has a very involved husband who will definitely chip in. They both have decent maternity/paternity leave and have planned for it. I’m sure I’ll go down now and then but don’t know that I’ll be part of the daily squad so to speak. They have child care lined up as well. We will see what they want/need. Myself as a new mom, I wanted no additional help on the day to day. D may be different! Her in-laws are in their town along with her H’s sister and also her sister (my D2) lives 5 mins away - by foot so she will have some help “breaks” right at hand.
Not to keep going on, because I’ve taken enough space on this thread already….part of it has to do also with being productive while walking away (as someone said above) from that “work person” identity. My own mother worked part time (at the local YMCA where she also swam 3x week) until she was 84 - lol, it’s in my blood!! She just loved that routine and PURPOSE.
I think I’m going to need to meet @kelsmom half way between our homes for some one-to-one introvert time. 
This describes me exactly even down to the thought of living in a FL retirement community LOL! I, too, was a SAHM with young kids and a husband who traveled all the time. Belonging to a gym gave me much needed social interaction when my kids were young, but the women were acquaintances. When my kids were in school, I did have a friend group with other moms but as an introvert, I did not form deep friendships and have mostly lost touch once our kids stopped hanging out together/left for college.
I went back to work a few years ago which has been very good for me. Covid left me pretty isolated, even tho I was ok with that. I was totally content being home that first year, but realized due to my introverted nature, I easily lost touch with my “friend group.” I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider in most of my friend groups since high school and never worked hard about keeping in touch.
Dh and I still have a few years until we can think about retiring (we are in our late 50s). Our youngest is still in college. Dh talks about retiring all the time - he is ready! He is actually meeting with our financial planner this week to discuss. The biggest issue is cost of health care! Dh is a veteran and has access to the VA but his job carries our health insurance. My employer is too small and doesn’t offer it. Anyway, I’ve been reading this thread in anticipation of what lies ahead.
@abasket thanks for sharing what you are thinking about as you start the transition to the next phase!
Gyms (not all) are great place. PB is wonderfully fun activity, though I personally don’t play, but I do watch. Hiking, biking or running groups are also fantastic choices. Fortunately, we have access to all of them here where I live.
Each week at the gym I work PT, they have a “catchball” group. Like volleyball, but they catch the ball and throw it back over the net. No bumping, setting or spiking.
How about fInding a theater buddy?
FWIW, I have a sibling who’s trying to find their way after a successful career. It’s tough sometimes. I just wanted to say good luck.
I went to Planet Fitness before the pandemic and it was a perfect fit for me.
Catchball sounds easier to play than volleyball and might be my speed. Had not heard of it before.
I played this at sleep away camp. We called it Newcomb. I haven’t thought about the games in years. Thanks for bringing it, and good memories, up.
We played it in grade school gym class & also called it Newcomb.
We played red rover, which I once described to my horrified kids as “basically you line up and play until someone breaks an arm”
Did someone say introverted:
I’m an introvert and I’m very happy with my own company. I don’t see my few good friends as much as I should. The time passes so quick and you realize you haven’t seen someone in awhile.
I have a one day a week volunteer commitment that brings me together with people. I also have a twice a week gym class that I’ve made gym friends. We share travel plans, books, gardening and wildlife discoveries. The class fills up so many of us arrive early and we enjoy that time visiting. If anyone is gone for a few classes we always tell them they have been missed. These interactions are enough for me. I also have local grandchildren that I see most weeks.
My husband is still working with no retirement in sight but he can work less. Just this week we talked about what he could do if he worked less. He already plays volleyball three to four days a week. Tennis two or three days a week. He spends 1/2 day a week cleaning and tinkering with his boat. For many this would be enough but he doesn’t know how to sit and relax. If he’s not working he needs to be doing something. It’s something I know will be a struggle.
I have discovered that I am an otrovert, a personality trait describing someone who can socialize fine and show empathy, but consistently feels like an outsider and does not care about fitting into a group, an observer but never a true participant.
We’re all different. I am an ambivert , so while I love being social and being in a group, I am equally comfortable being alone and can entertain myself.
But… the last 15 months since my H died have been hard. It’s lonely living alone after having a partner for decades. I’m retired, so no work interaction, my kids are grown and are busy living their own lives, etc.
Often times the only interaction I have all day with others is at yoga, strength class or mahjong, etc. I’m really glad that I have these activities which get me out and interacting with others.
Just food for thought.
Yes, I think I’m an ambivert too. I enjoy H’s company and if anything happened to him I would miss him (we’ve been married 40 years). I would definitely have to start doing more with others.
Does anybody deliver Meals on Wheels?
Alas, that’s a retirement goal I’ve not yet achieved. (And actually I’ve avoided any retirement gig that requires dedicated weekly scheduling. My crazy last work years has made me crave a flexible personal schedule.) But yesterday my visit with an elderly church lady in nursing home who I started keeping an eye on during Covid reminded me of the value of Meals on Wheels (beyond the great meals / visitors, like my Dad receives every weekday in NY). Last year they called me when she did not pick up meals. I texted with one of her neighbors, who found her unconscious on the floor… called EMTs.
As someone who has been living alone since divorced, I would suggest for people who are still with a partner to develop their own interests and have a life outside of the couple world. Prior to my divorce, we did everything together - dinner with friends, travel, etc. But after the divorce, a lot of my “couple friends” stopped inviting me to couple events, which I thought was strange. I had to make a point of reaching out to people and organize social events. It took me a while to adjust to the new norm. I now have a core group of friends whom I can travel and going out with. Recently I am seeing more friends whose spouses have passed away and they have no clue about their finances and a lot of their day to day stuff because their spouses were taking care of them.
FallGirl, also a widow here.
Generally an extrovert, but I need some time to re-charge.
I’ve begun asking myself, “am I alone or am I lonely?” I know that I need more alone-time since my husband died.
My ankle surgery in May really impacted my summer social season. I generally go to the gym 3-4x/week including working with a trainer. I like MeetUp events, particularly walks and hikes. I have only done one recently!
I travel a bit (one college friend is a terrific travel partner) and when I am in new places, I usually venture some alone (I call it my Bravery Tour). When we were in London, the others went off to Bath and the Cotswolds — I was fully happy touring London by myself!
My Ds are in the Cincinnati and Philly burbs. I constantly ask myself about moving near one of them — some day, but where? And how do I build a new network and community? And how would I fit in their lives?
Oldfort, after my husband’s death. I found that our couples friends would accept my dinner invitations on a Saturday night, but no one ever asked me to join them on Saturdays! Sundays, maybe.
The couple-thing is really interesting. It turns into different flavors post divorce or death!
I suggest for anybody newly retired that they check their local libraries. You would be surprised the range of activities/events they offer nowadays for adults. I have been to such diverse things as a lecture on Jane Austen, book bedazzling, flower arranging, sound meditation, etc.