@oldfort -Agree. I do have outside interests, groups, friends and I developed most of these connections before H died.
What I miss is having someone here with me to talk to. H was more of a homebody than I am. I also miss going out to dinner or drinks. Married friends don’t want to do that with singles and it’s tricky with my single friends as many of them have indicated that they are on tight budgets and going out is expensive.
I drive for Meals on Wheels. Generally once a week, but sometimes I pick up an extra day if they need someone. I enjoy it and really feel I’m helping by checking on the people even though I don’t have a medical background.
I volunteer with an organization that is similar to Meals on Wheels. I don’t deliver as that is a weekly commitment. I volunteer on the days they prep the ingredients for the meals and the day we package the bags. There is also a volunteer opportunity to do harvesting. The days I go don’t require a commitment. Volunteers come when they are able.
Maybe I’ll start a local branch of this group - I think I would like this! (Except I don’t actually want to spearhead it) Meet the ‘Flower Buds’ who give donated flowers a new purpose
We have this in my town - it’s a really nice organization!
This was on our news but we don’t have a chapter! 
I don’t know that ours is affiliated with a national organization - but they are very, very active. It’s a good way to make sure cut flowers have a much longer life than just one day.
We just have entire arrangements from events (weddings & funerals) to the CCRC & hospital. This is a nice way to repurpose and spread beauty.
I’m unaware of any similar org in our area.
Just looked it up & there IS are orgs in our area & they pick up. I have sent the info on a few threads where there are weddings set for October, in case the couples are interested.
I totally get what you’re saying (my H passed away last December). I have lots of stuff to keep me busy–I’m a volunteer for several local organizations, and I regularly take yoga/pilates and strength training classes. I have really great friends who invite me to all sorts of events and my kids have been really helpful. What I really miss is the day-to-day interaction with my H. I just miss his company and while I try not to dwell on it too much, there are days when I’m overwhelmed. Yes–I should probably go to a counselor or a support group, but that just seems like one more thing to add to my list.
Every time I check this thread I find I am many, many posts behind. So here’s my attempt to catch up:
-snowbirds: I live in the type of oppressively hot, humid area many of you are adverse to. In fact, this is the worst time of year. Hot, humid and a threat of a hurricane forming at any moment. It would be nice to downsize and keep a condo here while getting a house in a cooler climate, perhaps on a lake. But want to see where all my adulting kids wind up. The only one settled thus far also lives in a hot, humid, hurricane prone locale that my spouse swears will never be the site of our second home.
-singles: We are a couple but are developing more single friends as spouses pass and divorces occur. We have no problem incorporating singles into our social plans. In fact, we are leaving soon for a two week vacation where my spouse and I will stay and travel with a dear friend who is a widow. We’ve not traveled with her before though. Will let you know how that goes!
-grandkids: We don’t mention it to our kids unless they bring it up as a topic. Definitely do not want to pressure them, about marriage or kids. But now we will happily dive into the grandparent life as my son and his wife are expecting their (and our) first! I suspect this will bring great change. My wife will be beside herself wanting to spend time with the grandchild, buy things for them, etc… It will probably hasten her retirement, as my son and his family live about a six hour car ride away (with no reasonable flight options) and she will want to visit A LOT.
Congratulations on the pending new arrival!
Congratulations @vistajay. You might enjoy the grandparents thread here on CC.
Congratulations on the coming grandchild.
I have said if my son has a child in the next couple of years that will likely prompt me/us to make a move (husband will likely not be happy moving, but he’ll likely be fine wherever we go, once it’s done). Son is only an hour away with no traffic, but often it takes twice that or more because of the traffic. (In the DC area).
Just wanted to add - @abasket - I hear you! I have three months to go until retirement and didn’t realize I’d have so much to process.
Impending loss of work identity, loss of work friends/colleagues, the need for meaning and contribution, change in finances (loss of income and reliance on financial planner’s assurances we’ll be fine!).
I realized I had to do some real reflection on my own re: things I wanted to do to that were meaningful.
I have also stopped calling the conclusion of my current job as ‘retirement’ (which has a connotation of ending, stepping back) and started saying I’m starting ‘my next chapter.’ It’s more forward-looking and makes me feel better!
I’m also generally an introvert so am factoring that into my plans. Structured social events (book clubs, etc.) are good for me. But I’m also looking into more yoga, meditation, philosophy-discussion Meet-up groups (along with the gym and some anticipated skiing).
This is not a small life transition! Recognizing that has helped me accept that uncertainty, discovery, and the unknown are part of the journey.
Thank you for sharing!
I retired July 2020… definitely the transition was impacted by Covid isolation. (Just this morn I was telling a church friend that I wish I had known about pickleball back then… we watched way too much Netflix when stuck home.) My introvert daughter enjoyed the homebody time more than I did … back then she said, “I’ve been training for this my whole life” 
Being home during COVID influenced my retirement also. It made me realize I would be FINE “socially” or whatever when I retired. If I was perfectly happy barely leaving my neighborhood for all that time, I figured I could deal with retirement.
@Colorado_mom - I still remember being on vacation in Hawaii and taking a walk along the beach. My buzzer went off and I had to stop and sign up for pickleball class, because they filled up so quickly in our county. I retired in 2021, but didn’t take PB lessons until 2022, because I was still working to help finish some stuff after retirement and couldn’t control my schedule so much. Now I “manage” a group of over 15 PB players. I do it because if I didn’t, nobody would, and then I couldn’t play. BUT, it also probably feeds my project management tendencies a little. Better to “manage” PB people than my husband 
I’ve found that many people who haven’t retired yet have the wrong perception about it. You don’t necessarily stop thinking, learning, moving, dreaming, creating, etc. etc. just because you’re not employed. I’m so tired on people implying that.