<p>Aibarr, you are delightful and I absolutely love the idea of the cutout! Your college Christmas festivities sound so much like my daughter and her roomie over the last few years. They decorate their door, a tree, hang things from the ceiling, and have a gingerbread house making contest. DD’s absolute favorite is “Tacky Christmas” where they find the tackiest Christmas attire they can scrounge up and have a white elephant gift exchange with friends…and, yes, one of her favorite tacky christmas items to wear is a Christmas sweater vest that I admit I used to wear until she was old enough to insist that I not…</p>
<p>Flyme, as others have said, you’ll see new traditions start to develop. We tend to go more low key with food preparation now so that we can spend more time with DD instead of being so focused on cleaning and cooking while she’s home. With my daughter, she’s always eager to go shopping when she comes home because she’s tired of her clothes from the semester and doesn’t have time to shop while at school. So that’s a girls only tradition for us now.</p>
<p>As much as I still miss her sometimes, I’m comfortable with our empty nest now…the 3 of us if you count the dog. I love spending time with her but now I’m ok when she leaves too because I enjoy my own time. It does get better.</p>
<p>You will know you have made the transition when you go from stopping whatever you’re doing when DD calls to telling her that you’re in the middle of something and will have to give her a call back later… I still remember my daughter telling me how upset her roomie was the first time roomie called her mother and mother told her she was busy…roomie told DD “my mother just blew me off”.</p>
<p>It’s an adjustment on both sides but one that will become comfortable over time.</p>
<p>We are going to wait until Odessagirl is home from college to decorate the tree. There is no reason for us to do it before she comes home. She has always helped us, and this year (her first away at school) will be no different.</p>
<p>We do all our Christmas decor over Thanksgiving weekend, any kids that are home participate and we save a few special ornaments for the late arrivals. This gets all the tree stuff up and done and gives those home for Tgiving a chance to be a part of it, different kids each year, though!</p>
<p>We save the Christmas catalogs and when every one gets home, they make snowflakes for the windows which I keep up through the winter. So, the Christmas decor is packed up in a timely fashion and I enjoy the grown up version of grade school paper snow flakes for all of winter. Victoria’s Secret pages are a favourite one to use :D</p>
<p>My D1 is now a sophomore in college, but I remember feeling the exact same way you do now. What I have found is that my fears turned into a new type of excitement - we sent her a care package with cookies, a little tree, lights for her room and an advent calendar. We made sure the house was decorated to its fullest by the time she came home and there was nothing better than having her walk through the door to the comfort of a family Christmas. I’ve developed a habit of putting fresh flowers in her room and picking up a small amount of her favorite loose candies and she truly knows how excited we are to have her home. We kept our tradition of doing a family secret santa right before Christmas and then going out to lunch - so she knows she’s still included. </p>
<p>We felt like we were losing something, but we gained new traditions and a new level of excitement for her return home. She gained the joy and excitement to start her new traditions at school. D1 and I are closer than ever and she is a new and better sibling.</p>
<p>I love all these posts and suggestions. I remember feeling the same way. But it does get better and you will develop a diiferent sense of things. My husband and I started doing things we enjoyed as a couple that somehow you forget as the years progress raising your children. I have kept some hard core traditions and have simplified others. It is really freeing when your children start leaving the nest and you do look forward to seeing them when they come home. Our pride is seeing her grow into her own person however bittersweet it is.</p>
<p>We’re still evolving and evolution is good.</p>
<p>I meant to have lights up when TheMom came home from work today but Stuff intervened…now hoping for tomorrow. This year, D will be home in time to see “The Nutcracker” and to go with us to shop for a tree. Alas, the place that we went to for more than 20 years down near the LA rail yards apparently went out of business a couple of years ago. </p>
<p>Last year we did a change up and visited D in her first apartment (post college) on the East Coast. I spent three of the twelve days just screwing.</p>
<p>Pieces of IKEA furniture together, that is. </p>
<p>Rented an SUV for just one day to run out to the 'burbs for a run to IKEA and Target to make her apartment a little less…bare.</p>
<p>You know what is funny? I have been sick (not funny) with various things for the last 4 years. Every time I say, “I’m going to buy latkes.” or (yes, my husband was brought up Episcopalian but is now Jewish…but we have a tree to honor his background) “I don’t want to go and get a tree.” or…whatever…the hue and cry from my kids (and their friends) is enormous. I was released from the hospital right before Thanksgiving. I wanted to order everything. Not happening. My kids got together…put me in a chair to supervise…and made all my recipes. They did a great job. Their friends all come for the food/football/traditions. We have a caravan to pick up our tree: last year three cars filled with kids went with us. (You can only imagine the process of picking the perfect tree!) Sorry, but the sight of 14 kids evaluating one tree made me laugh until I cried.</p>
<p>Don’t anticipate the “change”. It will come, new traditions will be established. But you will see 'your" traditions when the kids establish their own homes. And yes, love what remains.</p>
<p>TheDad: I don’t know where you live in Los Angeles, but we trek to the Santa Clarita valley and chop down a fresh tree. There is also a lot in Santa Paula and probably elsewhere.</p>
<p>My first thought when I saw the title of this post was “yeah life will be different next Christmas” for me too. What I was thinking of was that I anticipate a major reduction in income next year.
Agree with all above: count your blessings.
We have two in college and no family in our area. We started a tradition last year of attending the Lakers BB game on Christmas day. It’s the one thing our whole family enjoys and I don’t have to spend the day in the kitchen.</p>
<p>Yes, I know I need to “suck it up” and that traditions change, but this about the grieving I’m experiencing for the loss of our family unit as we have known it for almost 18 years. Thanks to those of you who acknowledged that you too experienced the same sadness. I was hoping I wasn’t alone.</p>
<p>Ironically, when the girls came home from school yesterday and spied the Advent calendar, D1 told D2 that she wanted the odds this year since it “would be her last year”. Those words just slid right out of her mouth like it was a normal transition in life. There are lots of options for next year, including the many suggestions from you on this thread, but I’m confident the two sisters will work it out to meet their needs.</p>
<p>This year we had to end a 14 year tradition of traveling to DC on Thanksgiving Day, checking into a great hotel, eating our feast, and staying through Saturday. H lost his job in January, and the prospects are not looking good, so we had to eliminate all but the necessary things from our budget. It occurred to me today that we would have had to end that tradition next year anyway, because D1 would not want to spend the major part of her break away from her friends. Change happens.</p>
<p>And since we will be home over Thanksgiving, instead of in DC, we can decorate our home for Christmas during D1’s break. That way she can participate and get into the Christmas spirit before returning to college. We’ll figure out the tree when the time comes. </p>
<p>I’m now looking forward to the changes…I think…yes I’m sure I am. Probably.</p>
<p>Thanks again for all of the great suggestions!</p>
<p>Congratulations on all the excitement, and good luck to you all with your life changes and with this stressful economic time… May the peace of the season find your family and provide you all with comfort.</p>