Light-Hearted Jesuit Humor..

<p>Well, since I’m off to Georgetown, a little Jesuit humor…</p>

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<p>tlaktan:</p>

<p>Love it. “Give me a child until he is seven, and he is mine for life.”</p>

<p>Told to use by our Jesuit Dean of Students at Freshman Orientation</p>

<p>So four couples are in a small plane. The plane crashes on a dessert island. After a couple of days, three of the couples are all freaked out. Panic is setting in. They are scrounging for food. One couple is calm and collected. No worries it seems.</p>

<p>The other three couples are irritated with the fourth couple for not panicing too. They finally ask: Why are you two so calm? We haven’t seen another plane for ship for days? Whats going to happen, we are going to die here!!! Why are you not worried?</p>

<p>The other couple: Well our kid goes to Jesuit-Catholic High School, and its fundraising time, and you know those Jesuits can find you anywhere!!!</p>

<p>Good one, city girls…:)</p>

<p>A Franciscan and Jesuit were debating which order was the greatest. So, they decided to ask for a sign from God. This is what they received falling down from heaven:</p>

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<p>A fellow went to a Franciscan and asked, “What novena do I pray to get a Mercedes?” </p>

<p>The Franciscan responded, “What’s a Mercedes?”</p>

<p>So the guy went to a Jesuit and asked, “What novena do I pray to get a Mercedes?”</p>

<p>The Jesuit answered, “What’s a novena?”</p>

<p>Ah, to be Jewish. . .</p>

<p>The first line of some jokes and their punchlines (so I’m not tempted to hijack the thread later)</p>

<p>So this rabbi sees a parrot davening by the side of the road. . . think of the odds on Yom Kippur!</p>

<p>Seeing the blind man in the park, she decided to give him some of her matzo . . . who wrote this junk?</p>

<p>Did you know that Abe Lincoln . . . he was shot in the temple.</p>

<p>Sent that one on too Lhasa.</p>

<p>My mother happens to be a novena engine…LOL.</p>

<p>From my friend the Redemptorist priest, one of three who married us;</p>

<p>Two priests got to heaven, one a Franciscan and one a Redemptorist. Both were welcomed warmly by St. Peter and St. Alphonsus and St. Francis, but nothing special happened. </p>

<p>The five were talking when someone ran up to St. Peter and whispered in his ear. Immediately, there was a hustle and bustle of activity. Bands were playing. Welcoming committee gathered. Red carpet stretched out…anticipating another new arrival. The Redemptorist and the Franciscan said, “What gives? You didn’t do all this for us. What’s going on.”</p>

<p>St. Peter said, “That’s a Jesuit. First one we’ve had in 200 years.”</p>

<p>citygirlsmom: that’s been told as a Jewish joke, as well</p>

<p>Tlaktan, since you are off to Georgetown, about to become a Hoya…</p>

<p>A Congressman decides to visit an Indian reservation which happens to be part of his district, though he spends nearly all of his time in DC these days. One of the elders take him to an area where an audience is waiting to hear his speech. First the congressman rails about the poor quality of the schools on the reservation, and promises to do something about the situation. “Hoya,” says someone in the audience. He then goes on about the lack of heathcare resources, and promises to send a group in to work on uprgrades there. “Hoya”, a group of Indians yell out. Seeing that the crowd is beginning to respond to his speech, the Congressman starts discussing the substandard, housing, the roads, the general conditions, promising to address each issue when he goes back to DC. "HOYA, HOYA, HOYA, " the crowd roars. Feeling that the speech has been a great success, the Congressman, tells the crowd, how much he loves them, cares about them, and they have been a tremendous audience, at which everyone rises and screams a rousing “HOYA” . As the elder walks him back to the waiting car, the Congressman says, “Well, that went well. What a great crowd.” “Um, yes,” the elder agrees. as he guides the congressman along a the horse trail, “Be careful, not to step in the hoya, here, sir”. </p>

<p>Good luck at Georgetown!</p>