Listening to my kid (music/performance major)

Applying to College Admission Stories
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This is an update of this thread:

In sum, my son loves classical music and specifically piano and composing, and would ideally like to double major in piano and composing but will also apply to some programs that only allow one (i.e. Juilliard for composing).

His info is:
SAT 1570
GPA 3.8 (top 10% of his grade, the school tries to use grades to differentiate so there are not that many at 3.9 or 4.0)
One of the most rigorous set of courses his school has to offer (honors physics w/calculus, calculus, linear algebra, honors French)
Juilliard pre-college for French horn and composing, studies piano on the side and has given solo recitals and won a couple of smaller competitions
Lives and breathes classical music and especially early 20th century/Prokofiev

His list is:
St Olaf’s
Indiana/Jacobs
Oberlin
Ithaca
Michigan
BU
UNC Chapel Hill
Vanderbilt//Blair
McGill/Schulich
NYU
NEC
Juilliard
Eastman
Peabody

I’m going to use this thread as a bit of a confessional. I went to a top 3 college and it made a huge difference in my life. The town I grew up in was small and small minded, and both the education and the open doors were impactful. My son’s college counselor said that HYP and their ilk would give his application a good look, that he is very much what they might be interested in, with strong academics and a strong arts focus with demonstrated ability and good writing skills (his common app essay is excellent). But he is clear about what he wants and excited about the process, and those schools don’t offer what he wants. For a while I was saying “just apply to a few liberal arts colleges with strong music cultures, just in case. Why not have the choice in April if it’s open to you?” He is a good kid, kind and accommodating, and he agreed without argument. But this morning I finally said, I understand that’s not what you want, you can take them off your list. So you will see, above, no Harvard, Yale, Princeton. I know it is silly, but it’s a little hard for me. I’m dealing with it, hopefully with as little impact on him as possible. I’ve said nothing but positive things about all the other schools and we’ve been on campus to visit most of them. I’m grateful that he’s not in the same boat I was in, he’s had an excellent high school education and the opportunity to really know himself and what he wants. So I’m grateful for that and also excited to see what he does with his life.

By the way, St. Olaf’s is awesome. Oberlin is awesome. Jacobs is awesome. A lot of these places I never heard of when I was growing up are pretty wonderful!

Best of luck to all of you parents . . . it’s very hard to understand that what we needed and what worked for us is not what they need and not what will work for them. May we be able to give them the wisdom and support they need.

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You have already read the “Double Degree Dilemma” which is pinned at the top of the music majors forum here? Your son sounds like mine…music was his life. He had and continues to have no interest in doing a full time job outside of music.

Has your son seriously considered any of the combined conservatory/university programs? I believe there is NEC/Tufts, Peabody/JHU? He might want to.

The folks on the music majors forum would likely be helpful.

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This is very well said. Our kids will find their own way.

One thing that we did was to not allow debt for a bachelor’s degree. There can be in some cases more options available for a student who graduates with no debt. Both of our daughters took on interesting opportunities just after graduating university that they could only afford to do because they had no debt. As an example, our oldest took on a dream job that paid badly, but that helped to set her up for what she is doing now.

I am not sure how this relates to your list of schools to apply to, but you certainly have a very good list with some very good music programs.

I know someone who graduated from McGill with bachelor’s and master’s degrees in music. McGill has a very strong music program. The music library is very impressive. The recording music hall is very impressive. A lot about the program is impressive. McGill might be adding a requirement that students graduate with some ability to speak French. However, it sounds like your son already has this ability, and picking up more French seems quite likely for someone who is studying in Montreal (and classes will be available both during the school year and over the summer). Montreal is a very interesting place to live for four years. There is also something to be said for living “slightly abroad” for four years in a location that is not very far away from home.

However your son has many other very good universities that he is applying to. He might have a tough decision to make in a few months simply due to having multiple very good acceptances to choose from.

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Would he consider the joint Columbia / Julliard program or the joint Harvard / NEC? Or USC which has both very strong academics and music ?

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@mmrose and @thumper1, yes, I’ve read the double degree dilemma and we looked at all of those programs (NEC/Tufts, NEC/Harvard, Columbia/Juilliard, Peabody/JHU). He’s making a very informed and thoughtful choice not to apply to them. There just isn’t a liberal arts major he wants to spend time in. He’s good at math, good at English, but he doesn’t want to major in those. So there isn’t a major/degree at Tufts, Harvard, Columbia, JHU that he would want to get. He does, however, very much want to spend significant time in piano performance and composing. So the programs that have a B.M. within the university make sense (Oberlin, Jacobs/Indiana, etc) but he doesn’t want the dual LAC degree.

CC has been extremely helpful - lots of information and perspective.

My oldest daughter when to a HYP and it was a perfect fit for her. Second daughter was not qualified for that kind of school so that made the search easier in a sense, I let go of the urge to focus on those schools and just tried to help her figure out what she wanted. With this child it’s been different, he’s qualified for HYP and doesn’t want it. I think I’m just processing that more than asking for advice. It’s not something I’m proud of ! But good to scrub that urge out of the equation.

It all came together for me this weekend. We were at a college fair at a music school (MSM) and the questions he asked were so specific: can I major in both piano and composition at your school? Is anyone on the composition faculty interested in early 20th century music? Do I study with the same composition faculty all four years or is there rotation? Etc. And my question of “can he tick a box and automatically apply to the liberal arts college or is there a separate application?” was just lame. And my rationalization of “you can’t be sure what you will want in April” - also lame. Not wise advice, just rationalization to nudge him toward what I want rather than what he wants. We talked to the Yale person at the college fair and he described the program and my son said to me - but what would I major in at Yale College? and then I kind of knew. I need to let go and listen to him. And I need to never again say to anyone “he’s applying to X (soto voce, even though he’s qualified for Y).” Just, he’s applying to X, it’s awesome.

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Here is my opinion. I’m the parent of a freelance professional musician with both bachelors and masters degrees in music performance. He never even thought about pursing a different major or career, and still doesn’t. Is he rich and famous? No. Is he self supporting and happy with his career…yes.

If this is what your son is committed to doing, and you can support his conservatory choices or college choices, I say…let him do this.

An undergrad music performance major is a challenging one. It takes excellent time management, commitment, organization, etc. IOWs it’s a degree that can benefit your son well regardless of what he does in the future.

He should familiarize himself with what it takes to be a professional musician, and its strengths and limitations.

My son would strongly recommend he take a personal finance course somewhere along the way. A musician will need to understand this.

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Thank you @thumper1, that’s very helpful. I saw a poster at USC/Thornton with a range of music jobs and it was encouraging. And I totally hear you about personal finance! His older sister has said he can always sleep on her sofa but that’s not a great plan . . .

@dadtwogirls He really liked the McGill program. It’s quite structured. They allow double majors but you have to start in one and after a year they review if your grades are good and your progress is good and then you can add another. And his French is already not bad. It’s high on his list but it matters very much the fit with the teacher.

@MMRose he had a trial lesson at USC and didn’t like the teacher so it’s not on the list. There are a few programs where he decided not to apply based on the trial lesson or visit (CMU, Case Western/CIM, Northwestern/Bienan, a few others)

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My older kid graduated from USC Thornton in 2023. There are a number of piano faculty. To me, it seems a shame to write off a school which might be a good fit based on an interection with one teacher, when there are multiple to choose from.

Keyboard Studies Faculty - USC Thornton School of Music

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Maybe. Some schools assign the applied teacher…the student doesn’t get to choose. If that is the case at USC, this student could very well be assigned to the teacher he didn’t hit it off with.

My music major kid eliminated some fine programs from his application list for the same reason. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable reason for removing a college from consideration.

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