Little Bit Stuck - Help Appreciated

College Essays
1

Completing the UMich - AA (LSA) essays, and I’ve got great topics, but I’m not sure if they’ll work. Any advice will be appreciated.

Supp. Essay #1 ~100 words (Activity you would continue) - I put serving on the local LL board of directors as umpire in chief. I was able to tie it in with my desire to help people, especially teenagers, working their first job, and that I find it very rewarding. 130 words.

Supp. Essay #2 ~250 words (Community you are involved with) - I again mentioned umpiring because it is such a big part of my life. In this essay though I focused on my age compared to the average age of an officiating community (I’m 20, average age is 52), and focused on my accomplishments despite being so young. 273 words.

Will the two essays having such similar topics be okay? Would it be smarter to flip them, and perhaps put my accomplishments in the first essay (making the activity umpiring in general), and then including the giving back to the community with the little league in the second? I have so much I could say in the second, and the 250 words are killing me.

If anyone would like to proof read my essays, I’d highly appreciate that as well. Just ask and I will send a PM.

Matt

2

I don’t think you should focus on the age difference in the second essay. It almost sounds like you’re bragging, but I haven’t read the essay, so I can’t judge. Just make sure you don’t come off as boastful. Instead maybe focus on how the community has affected your life in a big way, how you affected the community, or both.

I personally would pick a different topic for one of the essays, but if LL is very important to you, then it’s totally fine (your discretion).

3

I think you are better off not using the same topic for both. Remember that all they know about you is what is in your app. Use your real estate wisely to portray yourself. From your general description, I like #1 better.

4

I would agree-- I would find an entirely different topic for #2.

You want to use the few words you have to present yourself as multi-dimensional, as someone with a variety of talents and interests.

So take the strongest points of your current #2, incorporate them into what you already have in #1, and find a new second topic.

5

Thank you all! I will do so. One aspect I didn’t think of is that because of the umpiring I took off the winter 2015 semester, and will be taking off the 2016 winter semester as well, so I do have to explain the gap in a separate portion of the Common App. I think #2 can incorporate that, without coming off as boastful about the age.

Thanks again!

Matt