<p>I think spending creep happens over time. When you live in a neighborhood where the local grocery store is a Price Chopper you’re going to shop there. When you move to a more expensive town you may start off driving over to Price Chopper but eventually you’re likely to start picking up your milk and eggs at the Whole Foods around the corner. Likewise, you may start off with your kids in the local soccer program, but when all the better players start leaving for club soccer it doesn’t seem like such a stretch to do the same even if that wasn’t your original intent.</p>
<p>Spending creep happens because when you have kids you want to give them everything you possibly can, which is something that is really hard to understand until you have kids and feel that desire. It also happens when you haven’t been making ends meet and then when you can, by definition you’re spending more but not lavishly because previously you weren’t getting by.</p>
<p>Spending creep happens because when you have kids you want to give them everything you possibly can</p>
<p>For some families that doesn’t mean things bought with dollars.</p>
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<p>Seems a little odd that they would be looking at suit labels (and suits in Tempe do not seem very comfortable or practical). Did the job involve driving customers around in your personal car? If not, why would they care what kind of car you drive?</p>
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<p>Even in San Francisco, $200,000 is a high income. Note that median household income there is $73,802, according to <a href=“http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06/06075.html”>http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06/06075.html</a> , so it is certainly possible to live on much less.</p>
<p>According to <a href=“http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/36/36061.html”>http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/36/36061.html</a> , the median household income in New York County is $68,370.</p>
<p>DH and I were great at saving when we were single and also before kids. But I would say we were/are not so good with school age children, we spend the bulk of our discretionary money on their education and interests. This includes evaluations, tutors, therapists, and private school as well as lessons in their interests (limited to two things a week). Could we have saved more had we 1) stayed in the starter home, and 2) put them in public school and get the system to evaluate/provide the help “free”? Probably. We actually tried the public school route and discovered life is too short to fight so many fights. So do I regret not having the money spent over the last 15 years available for college? Absolutely not. We pulled out of the public school system because we saw D go downhill in her confidence, abilities and accomplishments. It was money well spent. I’d rather have the confident, smart daughter I have than $240,000 saved in an account somewhere.</p>
<p>We don’t earn $200K a year, mainly because I’ve made the conscious decision to work part-time instead of full time, and I’ve left the work force art times when the kids needed me at home. Again, no regrets on this decision either.</p>
<p>For all those who avoided mistakes, financial and academic and social, great! But don’t be so quick to ask why others chose a path different from yours.</p>
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<p>Actually, $200K is a lot there too. One of my sisters lives in a nice apartment in Manhattan and she “only” earns about $70K/year. She has a 401K and several weeks off every year that she usually spends traveling. She doesn’t have children but many of her coworkers do, and those who are single parents or single income families manage on that income too. Their kids go to public school and they shop at Target, but they manage. I’m sure all the cashiers, food service workers, and other service industry personnel in NY are surviving on much less than $200K/year too.</p>
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Yeah, but if their kid gets into Princeton, they’re not going to be charged a quarter of a million dollars, net of taxes.</p>
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This particular thread is about money.</p>
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You might be surprised to find out how many of them have other jobs in NYC, such as firemen, sanitation workers, bus drivers.</p>
<p>The fact remains that the median income in New York County (Manhattan) is $68k. As for the cost comparison between NY and San Francisco, you don’t need a car in Manhattan. You are better off without it, and when you need a car you can rent it. And there are Zipcars and such for quick trips to IKEA. It is a different kind of place to live.</p>
<p>In my very humble opinion (as a low-income person with many friends with much more money who were SHOCKED that their bright but-not-4.0+/2400/36 kids didn’t get a free ride) the problem is that there is a myth that name-brand college is affordable to all. It is not.</p>
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<p>However, if your household budget includes the annual costs of private school and the like for her, then when she goes to colleges, the same portion of your income could be deployed toward college costs, right?</p>
<p>If we assume $35,000 for private school tuition and $5,000 for food and utilities that she consumes at home (not including costs related to ECs, etc.), that is $40,000 out of your household budget that could be put toward college costs next year. Granted, if she wants to go to some place more expensive (up to $25,000 more in list price), that can be a problem if the combination of additional parental money, financial aid, scholarships, and student work and loans cannot cover that. But it isn’t like your budget needs to instantly find an extra $65,000 per year.</p>
<p>As for the spending creep, I’m already noticing it myself as a college student. With scholarships and income from a part time job and a co-op, I now have some money to spend. So when my duffel bag broke, instead of buying the cheapest one available at Target (again), I spent more to get a nicer one from LL Bean. I keep having to ask myself if I really NEED to buy things. Yes, my sunglasses are kind of scratched, but I don’t NEED a new pair. I grew up in a frugal household, and I’ve always been proud of my saving and self-control when it comes to money.</p>
<p>When the time comes, I want to have saved such that I will be able to provide my hypothetical children with a college education. (Assuming the current system still exists in 30 or so years…) </p>
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<p>It may be worth it if the more expensive one lasts longer in relation to the price. E.g. if the more expensive one costs twice as much, but lasts three times as long, it may be the more frugal choice if you have the money.</p>
<p>However, this is not necessarily true for everything. Expensive cars do not necessarily last longer than cheap cars, and expensive cars tend to have more expensive maintenance costs, for example.</p>
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<p>Among my closer friends, I joke that my son’s private school not only helped get him into a top-tier school, but also kept the tuition from being a shock. In the interests of accuracy, the COA is higher in college, but given what a teenaged boy costs to feed, we might be close to breaking even 
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<p>Wow - that is more expensive than any in Texas (for a day student, not for boarding). Even some elite east coast high schools like Archmere where Biden went (see <a href=“http://www.archmereacademy.com/admissions/financials”>http://www.archmereacademy.com/admissions/financials</a>) are only $23,000/year, similar price to the most expensive in Texas (St. Johns, St. Stephens, St. Mary’s Hall etc.) with many well known ones (Jesuit and Ursuline in Dallas for example much cheaper). Even Hockaday is $8,000 cheaper.</p>
<p>But even at $35,000 a year, if you have the money, especially for the most critical years, the middle school years (5th-9th for girls, 6th-10th for typical boys), I can see the appeal of these to families with very high incomes (and perhaps as much for non-academic as for academic reasons as @SlackerMomMD implied).</p>
<p>@ucbalumnus , way off on your assumption. </p>
<p>Her private school cost us less than $10,000 a year. A very far cry from your $35,000 assumed price. She also moved over to a public high school because she was strong enough to handle the system at an older age.</p>
<p>Also, the gory details of my finances is not the point of my post. It was about making choices and owning them. But go ahead, make it a straight $$ thing. Focus on the trees (or in this case, stems and leaves), rather than the forest.</p>
<p>Academically elite private school tuition examples:
<a href=“http://www.harker.org/page.cfm?p=112”>http://www.harker.org/page.cfm?p=112</a>
<a href=“https://www.menloschool.org/admissions/tuition-and-financial-aid.php”>https://www.menloschool.org/admissions/tuition-and-financial-aid.php</a>
<a href=“Tuition & Fees”>http://www.college-prep.org/admissions/tuition-and-fees/index.aspx</a></p>
<p>Are we discussing schools with religious affiliations and those without as though they’re the same thing? They are not, and their costs also differ. </p>
<p>$35k is in the ballpark for my kids in Northern NJ, and might actually be low if you add in all the various one-off costs (not to mention donations). </p>
<p>RiceParent-
Make sure you’re comparing apples to apples. Many of the schools on your list keep their tuition lower by having additional charges from everything from athletic participation, to class trips, to things like “choral attire.” The $35,000 schools tend to roll all that into the tuition price.
<a href=“http://www.sjs.org/Page/Admission/Tuition-Information”>http://www.sjs.org/Page/Admission/Tuition-Information</a></p>
<p>Note St. Stephen’s $17,500 fee for participation in the upper school tennis program.
<a href=“https://www.sstx.org/ftpimages/580/misc/misc_105268.pdf”>https://www.sstx.org/ftpimages/580/misc/misc_105268.pdf</a></p>
<p>@Sue22 To be fair about St. Stephen’s for those who choose their two elite sports programs they are nationally known (I had heard of their tennis academy even before I moved to Texas) and similarly their soccer program is well known with students from multiple countries attending, and they have students on their school teams who don’t participate in the specialized expensive academies. We do know some who went there on scholarship, so not all are paying full price.</p>
<p>St. Stephen’s is an amazing place, and probably worth the $23,000 ($25,000 including fees and books?) to some with higher incomes. Not something we could afford.</p>