<p>@SlackerMomMD, that’s the price in the Northeast. We sent both of our kids to private middle schools. </p>
<p>To follow your thoughts, I saw/see my job not as preparing my kids to get into the best (or the best fit) college or graduate school but preparing them to have happy, productive, successful, healthy adult lives. I’m less constrained financially but that’s the goal. </p>
<p>We have paid pretty much out of current income. EFC runs right around COA. We got some FA when both kids were in college simultaneously. What has saved our bacon over the years (including my illness and subsequent loss of income) is that our mortgage (inc. property taxes) is under $1500/mo – and we live in an extremely expensive area. We bought small, stayed in this house and have not upgraded in the 16 years since. I will admit that there will be a lot of deferred maintenance taking place after May 2015. We were married 14 years before we bought our first house – DH’s grad school, student loans and child care all competed with savings. </p>
<p>We live on much less than we make and don’t spend lots of $$ on cars, clothes, etc. (Travel is the exception, but even then we seriously work the discounts and FF miles.) We have been able to continue retirement savings throughout and deal with significant medical expenses as well. Both kids took out Staffords and worked for books/spending $$. S1 had a year’s worth of COA in merit scholarships. </p>
<p>DH and I were both zero EFC kids who have built from the ground up. No help from family members, etc. We both grew up with very little, and financial security and education as the way up have been cornerstone priorities since before we were married. </p>
<p>The downside to not having bought more house: downsizing to a smaller house/townhouse/apartment in this area will cost more than staying put.</p>
<p>Considering Princeton’s admission rate, I don’t think that’s an option most of them will have the luxury of considering. </p>
<p>I think there are a lot of families in the donut hole, and most aren’t making anywhere near $200K. A family who earns ~$60K isn’t going to qualify for federal aid anymore than a family making $200K, and unless their kids earn hefty scholarships or get admitted to a college that meets full need, they’ll be full pay too. If both families are offered a $30K grant at a $60K/year college, which family is more likely to be able to make up the difference?</p>
<p>Had we not had our kids in private schools before college AND had banked the money, we would have been solid for any college costs. But whether we would have done that with the funds, I can’t really say. I don’t think we would have. So many places we could have, most likely would have spent the money instead. Because our kids were in private schools, we drove older, less expensive cars, did not buy the furniture and other household things. We did put away what was recommended and some for pensions, emergencies, etc, though not a whle lot that way. </p>
<p>It was all on us, as to how we chose to spend our money, and I feel privileged that we had the choices we did. For many, it’s not a matter of much choice. </p>
<p>We’re living it and I can say it’s easy enough. We have multiple reasons why our college savings are not where we need them to be including; living in an very expensive NE area, two job losses over ten years that set us way back, three kids, supporting an aging parent, variable income from being self employed, not that much income growth really over the last few years, being self-insured…the list goes on and one where our money goes despite trying to be very careful, living modestly, driving old cars, not taking many vacations. </p>
<p>Our oldest is applying now and we said we can give you x, the rest has to be from you in the form of loans, grants, whatever. It was a much needed dose of reality. He will still apply to a few dream schools but over the summer visited several more affordable options. We wish we could cover it all but it’s true what advisors say - you have to pay yourself first and contribute to your retirement. If you can help your kids pay off loans later down the road then great. But once you stop working who will be paying your bills?</p>
<p>How can a family of 4 spend $30k/year for groceries (= $575/wk)? This is separate from another $10k/year for dining out and entertainment ($200/wk). </p>
<p>$9000/year for car insurance? We used to have 3 cars in NJ, and I paid around 3500/year. The family they used as an example lived in Chicago, but hard for me to believe their insurance could be that much more. A lot of people also lease their cars for few hundred $$ a month. They don’t spend 15K/year for cars. I think the numbers they used were very inflated.</p>
<p>We earn about 250K in an expensive NJ town. I can tell you that every time we have a home repair, it costs more than else where in NJ (my BIL, who was a contractor, told me flat out that when they hear the name of my town, they jack up the price of things). I pay 16K in taxes on a 3,000-square-foot house. Dance and soccer for my two kids costs money. Lately I do feel like we’re living paycheck to paycheck, so saving for college has been a bit of a balancing act. </p>
<p>I honestly don’t think we would be anywhere near where we are now if we hadn’t started very early. A savings account was opened as soon as each child was born. We got a few thousand from relatives with each birth, and that started the college fund for each. For every birthday, gift money–no matter how little–was added. Christmas bonus at work? A few thousand more was thrown in. The end result is that we do NOT have four years at an expensive private college fully funded for each child–but with a decent stock market run we’ve got three down for the older one and two for the younger one. That still gives us time to amass the balance over the next few years. I feel we have been diligent but have not “oversaved.” We’re only in our forties and I want to make sure we lay some good groundwork for our own retirement. </p>
<p>I get home expenses. But no one needs a $60k car every 4 years, and the “contribution to kid schools”, entertainment and vacation were pretty high discretionary items that could easily be slashed. </p>
<p>Round trip ticket to Europe now is 1000-1200/person (4800). Rooms for 4 people could be 300-500/night, you most likely would need to have 2 rooms because European hotel rooms tend to be very small (2800 for a week). Food for 4 people could be 200-400 per day depending on if you are doing fine dining or not (2000). By the time you add in sightseeing, transportation, shopping, you are closer to 12-15K. Of course, most people would go to Europe for 10-14 days rather than for a week.</p>
<p>If I have to choose between vacation and my kid’s education, it would be my kid’s education.</p>
<p>^But spending $280,000 a year you would expect them to be able to do some of that travel on frequent flyer miles earned through their credit card.</p>
<p>I agree that $5,000 in school fundraising is a luxury easily cut, and I wonder what sports the kids are doing that are costing them $5,000 each per year. The top club teams in most sports around here cost less than half that, including uniforms.</p>
<p>Yes, it’s tough to muster up a lot of sympathy for a family that lives in a 1.2 million house, takes multiple luxury vacations, drives $60,000 cars, and goes out to eat every week yet still feels poor.</p>
We were married 14 years before we bought our first house – DH’s grad school, student loans and child care all competed with savings. </p>