https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/09/health/longer-life-quality-partner/index.html
The article is on CNN if you don’t want to click on the link. Basically it says that living to 100 maybe isn’t so fun and it is expensive. Nothing I didn’t really know -but I don’t think about it very often.
My mom is 89 and healthy as a horse both physically and mentally. I can see her living to 100 and beyond. She isn’t even on any medications. You’d have no idea she is almost 90 if you saw her - which is how she ended up with a 75 yr old boyfriend.
She does yoga to keep flexible and now gets stretched twice a month (this is new popular thing.) She also walks 15 minute miles several times a weeks d walks her dog twice a day. She exercises her mind too - does NYT crossword puzzle every day, and has bridge, mah jongg and now canasta games several times a week.
She has two friends who are 96 and both are still driving.
IMO, it’s extremely important to stay active. Once my inlaws turned 60, they sat down on their sofa and never got up. Never even went on a leisurely stroll. MIL is 88 and FIL is 91 and they are both in terrible shape. Their “world” got very small, very quickly and they did it to themselves, imo.
^^^^^Harkens back to a study I read that said the most important factor in healthy longevity is physical fitness.
In my nursing career, it’s been very obvious that physically active seniors have more “pep in their step,” are on far FAR fewer medications, have far fewer every day aches and pains, have in general a more positive attitude towards life, and of course, fewer issues with mobility and general “getting around” than seniors who have been sedentary.
“MIL is 88 and FIL is 91 and they are both in terrible shape.”
Those are still impressive ages to live to and well past the average life expectancy for any place on the planet. They must have done something right.
Chicken or egg? Elderly people who feel better are more likely to be physically active. So does physical activity keep you in good health or does being in good health keep you physically active?
My mother was never particularly physically active but lived to be 100.
^they didn’t drink or smoke which probably has something to do with it, but they are both a mess now. It’s like night and day comparing them to my mom. My MIL started having physical issue 20+ years ago and FIL has a basketful of things wrong starting about 5 years ago. MIL also has dementia now. We moved them again to assisted living (first time they only lasted a month.) All my FIL does since moving is complain how horrible it is and how the children made them move. H and is brothers have mostly stopped answering the phone when he calls. The place is beautiful and at $7k/month has everything they need.
If they had stayed active they wouldn’t have a lot of the issues they are dealing with now. They might not be in the shape my mom is in (not many her age are) but they certainly wouldn’t be in the kind of shape they are in. For 30 years they have been sighing how it’s awful getting old - but they did it to themselves. Their one activity for 30 years has been going to doctors.
My dad is 96 and I think physical activity is essential. He makes a point to walk and exercise to the best of his ability.
The lack of exercise leads to balance problems, not being able to lift yourself out of a chair and just do some simple tasks that can help keep you independent.
My mom lived to 92 and while she often felt terrible and in pain (she had cancer) she kept exercising–just walking up and down the halls of the house on her walker (she counted the reps). She did leg exercises before bed and simple arm exercises. She did whatever she could physically do to maintain. She’d empty the dishwasher (and not let us do it) just for the bending and stretching it could provide. She’d say “If I don’t do it, I’ll just stop.” And she meant that in the literal sense.
@emilybee my Mom did the doctor thing too. She didn’t get sedentary -but started going to the doctor like it was her hobby. Always wanting a new drug or procedure. I am going to try really hard not to do that.
My dad likes to cancel doctor appointments–they take too much time.
I wonder if that is partly why he made it to 96 @gouf78.
My father, who is 90, was in incredible physical shape until the last few years. Participated in the Senior Olympics as a sprinter, played golf and tennis daily, went swimming, rollerblading, etc. But he now has Parkinsons and is restricted to a wheelchair. I think being physically active for so long has helped him in his current health condition.
My mother, who is 89, has led a more sedentary lifestyle, partly due to some hereditary health issues. She has used a walker for the last 15 years, and is now in a wheelchair due to recent falls/issues with oxygen. She has had several relatives live into their 90s, so I think she has good genes on her side.
They were living independently until the past year. I helped them move to assisted living this past fall.
The book Being Mortal by Atul Gawande is an interesting look at how just living longer is not always the optimal goal.
My Aunt had Parkinson’s for 20 something years. She kept being very active as long as possible. She knew if she stopped her Parkinson’s would get worse much more quickly. She was also very socially active - never stopped doing that either until the last year of her life after my Uncle died (at 95.)
@veruca, my inlaws the same way. Always hoping next doctor would have the miracle answer. Every time they were prescribed physical therapy, they’d go once and then complain how it hurt and wasn’t helping and stop going, or just not go at all. Then onto another doctor.
If they were visiting us and we suggested taking relaxing walk around the block they wouldn’t even do that. They even lived in a community that was built on lakes with lovely trails throughout.
" Every time they were prescribed physical therapy, they’di go once and then complain how it hurt and wasn’t helping and stop going, or just not go at all. "
More than once I’ve heard PT stories of “It hurt SO bad…and thank goodness I continued!”.
One was someone who could hardly walk and needed stretching exercises which were awful but once they were stretched out and able to practically dance? Couldn’t sing the PT praises enough.
Another was the choice of either major shoulder surgery or deep tissue massage–and it hurt a lot but avoided even more painful surgery.
I think oftentimes people don’t realize the commitment that PT takes and what the goals are and what the final outcomes can be if they stick with it. And then insurance says you get “3 treatments” when you need 10 to get a decent result.
My relatives are 88 and 93. Physically they’re pretty strong but they are terribly absent-minded and have no memory.
My grandfather lived to 98 and was pretty miserable the last few years of his life. In his case, his general health was good and his faculties intact, but he could barely see or hear at all. 
We have a friend in her late 60s whose husband has dementia and is in an assisted living facility. The lady visits her husband every day for hours. My husband came in our office a few minutes ago, out of the blue, and referring to this couple, he said, “I want you to promise that if I end up like him, you will NOT visit me that much! Once every week or two is fine. I want you to keep living!” Since DH is almost 9 years older than I am, I really appreciated his telling me that. I told him if the roles were reversed, I would appreciate visits a couple of times a week. It’s good to talk about the subject ahead of time. Along the same lines, we have a good friend my age (mid-50s) who is worrying us a lot about the things she says and how forgetful she is. I told DH to be honest with me if I start having those issues.
My grandma is 97. Her mother lived to 103. Grandma remained pretty active up until about age 89, when she began to have short term memory issues that meant moving her to assisted living and eliminating the car. That cut her off from the friendships she had and the memory issues make it difficult to make new friends. People love her but she can’t remember their names, I think she’s tired of living at this point, but she’s still relatively healthy for her age and does enjoy visits from family. It’s hard to live that long past when you can really take care if yourself. I think the people who do the best continue to build and engage in friendships and take interest in the lives of others into their old age. Her younger sister is late 80s or maybe 90, still drives last I heard, is healthy, sharp as a tack mentally and very active in her church.
One of my great grandmothers on the other side of the family lived into her mid 90s as well. She lived alone in the desert and hiked regularly at least into her late 80s.
“I think oftentimes people don’t realize the commitment that PT takes and what the goals are and what the final outcomes can be if they stick with it. And then insurance says you get “3 treatments” when you need 10 to get a decent result.”
H and I constantly told his parents that “yes, it is painful” but it’s necessary to keep doing PT. Fell on deaf ears. I’m sure their doctors and the PT’s told them, also, I gave up trying to convince them of anything years ago and told my FIL when he tried to tell me how awful the first assisted living place was (he thought I’d be his ally) that moving back home was a terrible decision. He hasn’t spoken to me since.
I meet a number of inspiring older people through swimming. A few are in unbelievable shape, with the flexibility and speed of someone much younger. Most are not so extraordinary, but are consistent in working out and in challenging themselves and so are active, vigorous, and living rich and full lives. My favorite is an older man, early eighties, who swims 3x a week. Physically he has slowed due to illness, but mentally and socially he is still fully engaged. He reads, he volunteers, he sings in a choir, he travels, he meets friends of all ages. I want to be like him someday!
Some examples of active old people:
http://www.oldest.org/sports/marathon-runners/
I play tennis regularly with a woman who is 82. She is as good a player as the rest of us who are 20ish yrs her junior. Her H died this spring so she is moving down to NYC to be nearer her kids. Bought a lovely apartment and is busily getting it renovated. And she’s already has joined a tennis club. She told me going back to playing a few weeks after her H died was a godsend for her. Got her mind off of her sadness and got her out of the house.