Hello, because our DD could be in the running last year to make the NMS cutoff, we ended up hiring a pretty costly tutoring service. Part of the service was the tutor, who really was amazing, but the other part were test prep materials specifically created by this company. We are not rolling in the dough and this was a stretch for us to spend this money, but we feel like it was ultimately worth it. My DD’s friend has asked to borrow all the materials. While I am usually pretty darn generous, I feel kind of funny about this. We spent a lot of money on this and I know this friend’s parents looked into this company but opted not to do it. They can 100% afford it, but just thought their DD should do it on her own ultimately (but she did not do that well on the SAT). Now that they want to borrow our materials, I just feel kind of annoyed. But I feel badly for feeling annoyed and I’m sure we’ll ultimately let them use our materials. Does anyone have any thoughts about this? Knowing how expensive the program is, I would never ask to use someone’s materials. Maybe it’s not as weird as it seems to me. I want to be generous, as I usually would be, but in this case, I’m reticent. Thanks for any input.
Will you be in any different position financially if you lend the materials or if they sit on your shelf? Are you thinking about selling them? Do you need the materials for a younger child or is your daughter taking the SAT again?
We do have a younger child that we’ll use them for, but we could always get them back. Nope, you’re right wouldn’t make a financial difference for us. I think I just feel annoyed since they looked into it, decided they didn’t want to pay for it and now when there DD didn’t do as well as they hoped, they want to use ours. I think I need to get over my annoyance…
Similar thing happened to my D but the person wanted to copy them, which is a copyright infringement, so we said no. Sounds petty, but the company obviously puts a lot of time into creating the materials, and those materials are a part of what that company is selling.
You should check whether there is anything in your contract with the company stating that you will not share or distribute their materials.
Are they the kind of people where you will get the materials back in good shape and in a timely manner? We have dear and precious friends who are just not that organized so I adjust expectations accordingly
Are they planning to hire the tutor and want to borrow the material to save money or they want to borrow the material for self-pace prep? Just curious if they are expecting similar results without paying for the tutor. You can refer her to the various official Practice tests and other resources for self prep. You can kindly let them know that you are not able to let them use the material but refer them to the other resources and suggest they hire a tutor. Yes, it’s a financial sacrifice but it was worth it for your daughter and you are confident they will find the money well spent.
"Part of the service was the tutor, who really was amazing, but the other part were test prep materials specifically created by this company . . . [m]y DD’s friend has asked to borrow all the materials . . . "
Nope. These are proprietary materials and need to be treated as such. They are actually intellectual property. If they aren’t - then your daughter is free to tell her friend what materials said friend can purchase to emulate the same study guide.
Prep is personal - like understanding how to do well in a class. Anyone who decides to cut a few corners to get the same grade is only cheating themselves and everyone else. If your daughter truly wants to be generous she can offer free tutoring for an hour or give her friend some study tips. Loaning out her materials (and her scratchwork, notations and tutoring advice) is like attending all the labs and tutorials in college, then feeding the info. to the kid who didn’t bother showing up.
Finally - let’s face it. You/your daughter will never see those materials again if they leave your home. When was the last time you loaned out a favorite book or DVD and it was actually returned? Preserve your friendship and protect the other family from your increased annoyance - do NOT loan these out.
If the family purchased the material, and I assume they did if they still have the materials, they can do with it what they want. Most material can be photocopied without violating the copyright as long as it isn’t resold and used for educational purposes. If a book is copyrighted, you can share the original book with others, you can even resell it, but you can’t copy it and sell the copy.
I paid for a review program. I had to swear I wouldn’t share the information with anyone and I had to return it ALL at the end of my study period This was because they were making an exception for me to do it as a home study as I didn’t want to drive across the Twin Cities in the winter to watch a videotape every night when it was 20 below.
“If the family purchased the material, and I assume they did if they still have the materials, they can do with it what they want.”
^ That’s not actually true. What you are purchasing is a proprietary pedagogy that involves human contact in conjunction with uniquely developed prep materials. There is no separate fee for either and copying charges passed through by the prep company doesn’t qualify as a “fee”. If they are relying solely on the ACT Red Book, different story of course.
Not sure how all contracts work but the ones I’m familiar with involve a fuzzy horizon because you might continue with a few more tutoring sessoins as you go along, or pay for a set number up front and that’s that but you may change your mind later on . . . … In either case what I’ve observed is that the manuals and so forth are supposed to be used - your notes, your chicken scratch, your answers circled . . . that’s why they aren’t returned (and you can use them for future exams long after the tutoring portion is concluded).
The proprietary videos you watched appeared to be substitutes for actual tutors? Not surprised you couldn’t keep them or allow others to watch during video-night at your home.
Also, let’s assume that the prep company can’t stop you from making the materials available to others (none of them can, really). Let’s assume they are fine with it. That doesn’t mean you SHOULD, especially if doing so makes you uncomfortable. OP knows this other family better than the rest of us so is the best judge. But I’ve been in similar situations where someone wanted to borrow a ton of notes because she just couldn’t seem to be able to get to class and I was known to be the best student . . . I’d welcome them to my study circle, offer to cover material over a coffee, etc. The only thing off limits was for them to free-ride off my work as a substitute for doing their own*.
- BIG exception if someone attends class but has an accommodation due to a disability - we have a kid like that and she works out "note-taking" help from the prof. and classmates in advance. That's a completely different scenario. If friend is in that situation, that might be very different, although there is no disability I've heard of that prevents people from acquiring the material simply by purchasing it themselves.
If the OP bought the materials just for D#1, would you then reason they couldn’t be used by D#2 without paying another fee?
In my case my company paid for the material, but I couldn’t share them with co-workers even though we were all ‘in the same family.’ The materials had to be returned (after the exam). If I wanted to keep them, I could have purchased them and once I purchased them, I could have done anything I wanted with them including share them. That was true whether I took it as a home study or in a classroom setting. That is how that company kept control over its materials.
If OP doesn’t want to lend the materials that’s up to her, but it is not illegal. It seems the OP doesn’t want to share the materials, and if so she shouldn’t (and shouldn’t feel guilty for not sharing). I’m good with telling people no, I won’t be lending you my notes or books or diamond necklace, but if an excuse is needed the OP could tell the friends that the younger child needs the books.
That excuse won’t work since the prospective borrower pledges to return the books.
Perhaps you can ask the company how they feel about you sharing. If their answer is that the materials aren’t supposed to be passed on you can impart that to the other family.
@twoinanddone it’s not clear at all the younger sibling should use the same materials. My kids didn’t share materials with each other regardless of where they got their prep. How could they given that they were marked up with their own notes and work, etc. A test prep company might make exceptions for a family of course, but I don’t know any test prep experts who would recommend that siblings share materials, especially if they are integrated into particular one on one tutoring sessions. In any case your point about not sharing if you don’t want to, and even formulating an excuse if that facilitates the matter, or in the case that the other family is pushy, is reasonable advice.
OP is free to be generous in a way that sits right with him/her.
@Publisher If I had a dollar for every pledge to return a book I’d be a wealthy person. Maybe it’s just the company I keep LOL.
OP: Often I find that used, but current, and heavily discounted prep books are available for sale online. Why not refer the other family to that source ?
Lie.
Say you’re currently lending the material to a family member who you couldn’t say no to.
If your elder child has finished her testing, you probably will want an updated set for the younger child. But if you think you’ll want these old books and this person is not good at returning loans, then you can just explain that your child needs them.
Otherwise, why not share??? I gave all my son’s old testing books (AP tests, Regents tests, SAT) to teachers I supervise who have children who are entering their senior years. The books would do no one any good in my basement, it would be wasteful to throw them out, and sharing is a nice thing to do.
Tell them to go get books through intralibrary loan at their public library.
If your daughter wants to retest, she will need the material. You may want to keep them handy in order to encourage her to retest. (Unless of course she’s already hit 1600)
This is something anyone will understand.
Thank you all for your responses (I’ve been off CC for a little while while swamped with work). I really appreciate your thoughts about not feeling guilty and potential copyright issues. While the friend asked twice and my DD was vague in her response to her, she hasn’t asked again and the SAT is coming up quickly, so maybe she’s moved on. If she did ask again, I probably will reticently tell me DD that we should just let her use the materials, with the hopes of maybe getting them back (I know that’s a long shot with most). @mmk2015 you made me LOL–I did think of this, too, and we figured out what nearby cousin we could say was using them ha ha ha. Again, thank you all very much!