<p>So I’ve been at UCLA for almost a term now; and the biggest problem that’s been really bothering me is loneliness. I originally thought that since UCLA is a big school, I will be surrounded by people, and so I wouldn’t be lonely, right? But on the contrary, I find that it is precisely that there are lots of people around that makes it easy for you to be ignored. I see lots of people around campus all the time; and they’re all talking to their friends or they have some place they’re going, or whatever; and they have no reason to notice me. The departments on campus also ignore you and just redirect you to other places or to see them you have to make appointments that are several weeks away if you’re lucky. They have thousands of other people who want things from them or whatever and why should they care about you?</p>
<p>I don’t know what clubs to join because I don’t think I fit into any of the categories. I don’t have any friends here (there are some people I in theory know from high school or undergrad; but there’s no way for me to contact or see them), and I just go around everywhere alone and sit alone at meals and stuff, and I work on my homework alone. My life really falls apart because I have no one to talk to when I have difficulties with school work or other things in life. There’s really no place I can go for advice or a friendly face. Like my computer just stopped working today and I have no idea what to do about it. Anyway, does anyone else have similar experiences? What can I do?</p>
<p>I know exactly what you’re feeling. I just started a graduate program at UCI and it’s been really difficult because there isn’t anyone here that I know from home or any of my old UCLA friends. My program has a total of 10 people and I live the furthest away from all of them and my roommates are always gone. I come home to my apartment and 85% of the time its just me. It does get lonely. My best advice is to start randomly talking to people in your classes, knock on your neighbor’s door, pick a random club that has a table on bruinwalk and talk to a few people - maybe you’ll get more interested in the club, if you don’t then you at least had some human contact. Also those people you say are from highschool or your undergrad (what about roommates or floormates?) try finding them on facebook, and if you happen to see them on campus - ask for their numbers and then actually invite them to have coffee, lunch, go to 3rd street with you or even if you need to run an errand in westwood. Anything. Sometimes you have to be the catalyst for outings, you can’t always expect to be an invitee. Good luck to you. And I think I need to take my own advice…</p>
<p>Definitely try getting plugged in a club, or just keep yourself really busy (work, internship?) Have you also tried getting more involved with your floor?</p>
<p>Finally, there’s also the occasional CC meetup! :P</p>
<p>Hey I know exactly how you feel. During my first-term, I had a similar issue. It’s like… I knew people but not well enough to pursue them further or initiate anything. Anyway, without too much effort, I eventually found people that I clicked with. First term was kinda weird since you’re floating around, getting to know people but not having a solid group of friends as you had in HS. I didn’t find people to eat with regularly until mid-winter quarter of my first year. Don’t worry; it’ll get better as long as you don’t lock yourself in your room/closet/what have you… oh and I didn’t get to know my really good friends until about mid-second year… (that is, that I finally figured out who they were and that sort). Umm… and I didn’t meet my good friends from clubs or anything - it was mostly random! [class, roommates, etc]
<p>Another option to consider is volunteering at an animal shelter (although that may lead to the adoption of several dogs), an orphanage or at a soup kitchen. Big Brother/Big Sister, political groups, or just working out at the gym every day. You need to schedule your free time so that you are busy & not focusing on lonliness. Daily exercising such as running/walking around the track, swimming, bicycle riding or working out on machines/treadmills will keep you busy while attracting friends.</p>
<p>I was like you, once, I think. how the hell did I survive freshmen year? Anyway, I remedied it by getting involved, but also not relying on others for my happiness</p>
<p>I realize I’m more social than the average person, but I met most of my friends either working on-campus or chatting to my neighbors in class. I’m always shocked by how people are so unwilling to simply talk to the person sitting next to them.</p>
<p>I still talk to something like 4 or 5 of the people whom I just “randomly” talked to in classes. Give it a shot. Also, consider language courses-- I made lots of friends in Japanese class because I was forced to talk to people.</p>